


Wondering about you

by Laura_S



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Character Study, Eventual Fluff, Fluff, Fluffy Shizuo, M/M, Relationship Study, Romance, Slow Build, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings, and so is shizuo, izaya is a bit confused by feelings, not too fluffy but still
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-18
Updated: 2014-10-01
Packaged: 2017-12-29 19:28:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 62,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1009165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laura_S/pseuds/Laura_S
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Curious about Shizuo's life and wanting to know more about him, Izaya installs cameras to the blonde's apartment. Little did he know that the things he was going to see about the blonde would change his view about him entirely. Izaya begins to think Shizuo differently and hates it. It gets his head all messed up. Shizuo wonders what the world has against him. In other words: the chase has begun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfic was originally just a thought of mine about Izaya installing cameras to 'stalk' Shizuo and then realizing that he's more than just a monster he thought the blonde was. 
> 
> Also: I wrote the first chapter, meaning I started to write this fic, about a year ago (20 July, 2012). The first chapter is a little short and drabble-ish because I had to get the idea "down to a paper"! It gets better, don't worry! Plus I've edited it now a bit so there shouldn't be as much typos or grammar mistakes as there was before.
> 
> I hope this fanfic will entertain you as much as it does me! ♥
> 
> PS. This fanfic is in fanfiction (.net), listed as "Human".

There had always been something that had bothered Izaya. It wasn't anything big but it still made the information broker wonder; it even made him a bit puzzled sometimes. But what was so interesting and puzzling to him? What could possibly be something that even the great Orihara Izaya couldn't really find out about? It was simple, really, but then again to the raven haired man it wasn't. Not with his thinking at least. But what was the so-called puzzle? Well of course it was Ikebukuro's own monster, Heiwajima Shizuo, Shizu-chan, as Izaya would like call him.  
  
What was the thing that Izaya wanted so badly to know about him, then? It was simply everything. Izaya wanted to know all about him. Now you're probably wondering that why would Izaya, the one who hated Shizuo the most, want to know everything about the blond monster? There is a saying: "Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer". And that was what Izaya wanted to do. It was his saying. But there was also something else he had always wanted to know: how could someone like Shizuo have friends? Or even people he could call 'friends'?  
  
How could a monster have friends?  
  
So the question that Izaya wanted to find out was actually: was Shizuo human after all? Could a monster like him have some humanity in him? And if he did then how did he get it?  
  
And was Shizuo actually then just a human but with an enormous strength that he got when he was angry? These questions were on Izaya's mind when he went to bed and couldn't get any sleep or when he simply was bored. And today was no different.  
  
Izaya was lying on his black leather sofa under the stair case, bored to death and he hadn't found anything to do. It wasn't like he didn't have work, no; he always had work to do. But he wasn't in the mood for any right now.  
  
"I'm so bored!" He whined and listened how his cry echoed silently in his empty apartment. Namie was away to see his dear brother, so the raven was alone. He knew he would die soon if he didn't get anything to do. Izaya sighed and lifted his arm to the air and looked at it. Why were hands so necessary anyway?  
  
"Okay, that's it." He was far too bored. He was questioning the obvious. Or was he? Izaya sighed. "But what to do…" he didn't really feel the need to observe his precious humans at the moment. But he did want to do something big. Something that was worth his time, of course, and that wouldn't bore him easily.  
  
"Oh!" Izaya smirked and quickly got up from the sofa and took his phone. He smiled and that smile turned into a smirk when he started texting. He chuckled as he pressed the 'sent' button. "Hehee…" Izaya hummed something as he skipped over his apartment, taking his phone with him and then his jacket from the sofa and slipped it on with ease. "This is going to be so much fun!" Izaya sang and quickly went the stairs up, feeling his keys, wallet and phone in his pockets. And, of course, the "extension" of his arms: his switchblade. With everything important with him Izaya finally was out of his apartment with an evil smirk on his face.  
  
And the text?  
  
 _'See you soon, Shizu-chan!'_  
  
.  
  
Izaya walked down the street, watching his precious humans walk past him. How foolish and fragile they all were; humans were so easily distracted and controlled. But enough of that, he wasn't here to see his humans. He was here to see his monster, Shizu-chan.  
  
As Izaya walked and walked, finally reaching Ikebukuro, he couldn't help but to feel excited and a smirk formed on to his lips. What would Shizuo do? Would he chase him around the city? Would he finally surprise him somehow? That could never happen, so no. Even though Izaya couldn't read Shizuo's movements at all and he knew nothing that went inside the blonds head, Shizuo was just too stupid to think about a strategy for himself. That was why he could never kill Izaya. Harm, yes, but never kill.  
  
"So where is the monster?" Izaya asked silently and listened. There were only sounds of the traffic and people chatting, but not the sound the raven was seeking.  
  
So Izaya decided to keep searching. If he couldn't find Shizuo, Shizuo would find him. After all Shizuo was always looking for him if he knew Izaya was close or then coming to Ikebukuro. Shizuo was always so desperate to see him, to kill him.  
  
To crush him.  
  
Izaya kept walking, looking for Shizuo. He continued to listen as well. If Shizuo was somewhere he could hear him, hence the deep listening.  
So where could Shizuo be at 7 p.m.? He was at work with Tom, collecting debts. Izaya didn't have a clue where to go, so he decided to go to the park.  
  
The park was a place Shizuo usually took his breaks. Maybe Shizuo was there already taking his break? Izaya smirked at the thought and pictured the situation: he would walk to the park and see Shizuo, who would of course sense him with his animalistic senses and he would smirk too with irritation. Shizuo would take the cigarette that he always had between his lips, between his two fingers and drop it on to the ground, stepping on it; crushing it. After that he would ask Izaya why he was here, maybe something about his text and then call his name, scaring everyone around him. "Izaya-kuuun" he would call him before taking something he could throw in his hands and then throw that something at Izaya, missing of course. How Izaya loved it all.  
  
Before Izaya knew it, he had reached the park. It seemed that Izaya's day dreaming had leaded him there quickly. Izaya was amused by it all. "So where is my Shizu-chan…?"  
  
"Excuse me, but are you looking for something? I can help!" said a women's voice behind Izaya.  
  
Izaya turned around and saw a weird looking woman. "Oh, can you now? But how?" Izaya asked and couldn't help but to smirk again. Human really were so interesting…  
  
"Yes! Just write what you're looking for here, please!" the woman smiled happily and gave Izaya a pencil and then opened her big writing board. Izaya smirked more and shrugged. It was fun so why not? So, he took a clean paper and wrote down 'I'm looking for… Shizu-chan, a.k.a monster' and drew a heart next to it.  
  
"There… That should do it!" Izaya smiled and then gave the pencil back. The curly and blond haired woman, whose accent was weird but kind of funny, began to talk about how many people already had written something on her writing board booklet. Izaya didn't bother to listen to her much, but instead began to look over other people's writings. They really were amusing, at least some of them: 'my laptop' 'money' 'Kizzy (my cat), 'brain' and then the last one that made Izaya jump and then laugh a little. You would never guess what it was; 'the flea, a.k.a Izaya'. And it was just before Izaya's writing… Which meant Shizuo was just on top of Izaya.  
  
After realizing that, Izaya looked bored and disappointed. But, at least that meant Shizuo was here at some point.  
  
"Hey, you… Do you remember the last person that wrote here before me? And if you do, then where did he go?" Izaya asked and looked at the woman again, giving back her writing board.  
  
"Yes I do, actually. He was blond and very handsome!" She smiled, "oh, he's here, actually, just behind you! Are you his boyfriend?"  
  
"Izaya-kuuun…." Shizuo sang with his deep voice, making a shiver ran through Izaya.  
  
"Huh, my boyfriend?" Izaya asked and then laughed. After Shizuo was close enough to hear him, Izaya turned around and looked at Shizuo, smirking. "Oh yes… He's my boyfriend alright."  
  
"Huh?" Shizuo glared at Izaya and the glanced at the woman.  
  
Izaya was far too amused to let his chance pass by him easily. So, he skipped over to Shizuo and smiled at him, what looked like he smirked to Shizuo, and then gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.  
  
"…"  
  
After that Izaya couldn't control it anymore; he started to laugh while Shizuo looked confused and angry as hell. "No, we're not a couple. We actually hate each other-"  
  
"IZAYAA!" Shizuo roared and glared at Izaya with pure rage in his eyes. He sure was angry now. "What the hell did you just do?" Shizuo shouted angrily at Izaya, making the blond haired woman ran away in fear, screaming.  
  
"Oh? Don't tell me you don't know what a kiss is, Shizu-chan?" Izaya chuckled mockingly.  
  
Shizuo grunted and huffed, looking around and walking over to a trash can. "Didn't I already not to come in Ikebukuro? How many times do I have to repeat it to you flea? And why in Hell did you just do that?" Shizuo spat, taking the trash can, and glared at Izaya with all his hatred. It looked like the poor trash can would soon brake in Shizuo's strong grip.  
  
Izaya smirked loving the way Shizuo only saw him in his hatred and seemed to lose all his reasonable thinking, if Shizuo even had that kind of ability. Probably not. "You know, Shizu-chan, that's never going to work" Izaya started to walk backwards and ignored Shizuo's question "it never has worked!" At this Shizuo threw the trash can in his hands at Izaya, who easily dodged it.  
  
And so their game of cat and mouse began again.  
  
"Aren't you being a little slow, Shizu-chan? Want to take a break?" Izaya sang at Shizuo who was taking another vending machine from the ground.  
  
"Aren't you talking about yourself, flea?" Shizuo roared the last word, the name he called Izaya, and threw the vending machine at Izaya as hard as he could and then quickly grabbing the nearest street sign. Izaya dodged easily the vending machine but just when he had dodged it and turned to look how close the monster was, Shizuo swung the street sign at Izaya, nearly hitting him. If only he had been a couple inches closer to him, he would have hit him, making him fly God knows where.  
  
"Oh! That was close Shizu-chan!" Izaya laughed, throwing a couple of small knives at Shizuo. "Starting to use you brains at last? Oh… Do you even have those, Shizu-chan?" Izaya chuckled and sighed. "Shizu-chan is so fun to play with…!" Izaya smirked and began to ran away from Shizuo again, Shizuo roaring and cursing at Izaya as much as he could.  
  
"I'll kill you, flea!" the blond haired man yelled and threw the street sign at Izaya.  
  
"That's what you always say but it doesn't seem like you can do it!" Izaya yelled back and laughed again, throwing few knives at Shizuo again. How had he, again, thought that there was something human in Shizuo? It seemed that every time Izaya was bored he thought about some rather stupid things.  
  
And it was always Shizuo he thought about; well, the blond man was a complete mystery to him after all.  
  
 _"Are you his boyfriend?"_ Izaya remembered the question that the woman had asked him a while ago. Why would she ask such a thing?  
  
The informant turned to look where Shizuo was when he turned to an alley. Surprisingly, it was a dead end. Izaya ran lazily to the wall and sighed. He turned around and saw Shizuo glaring at him with a street sign in hand, breathing a bit heavily.  
  
"Are you getting tired, Shizu-chan?" The raven asked, knowing the answer he was going to get; after all, he felt the same.  
  
"Tired?" the blond asked and laughed, taking a step forward, "not in a million years, flea! I'm just so close to kill you, since you have no place to run, and that makes me feel excited." Shizuo smirked and with a quick movement he sent the street sign flying towards Izaya. Of course the raven easily dodged the throw with just simply stepping aside. The sign made a big noise when it hit the wall. The sign then dropped with bang on to the ground.  
  
"Not even close Shizu-chan" Izaya sighed and smirked back at Shizuo who now was walking closer to him. "And you're not going to kill me…" he took his knife from his pocket and pointed the blonde with it. "I'm going to distract you."  
  
"Are you now?" Shizuo asked and glared at Izaya, trying not to jump on him and strangle him in a few seconds "and how are you going to do that?"  
  
"Now, now Shizu-chan…"  
  
"And don't call me that, flea!"  
  
The black haired information broker chuckled, "if I told you how it wouldn't probably work. Though I doubt it."  
  
Shizuo seemed to ignore Izaya as he launched himself towards Izaya, ready to grab him wherever he could. But of course, as talented as Izaya was, the raven just reached his arms towards Shizuo as well and grasped his shoulders. The feeling of Shizuo's strong back and shoulders made Izaya shiver a little; the feeling was foreign to him. And for a second their eyes locked. They both had passion – and as normal people would call it – lust in their eyes, but most of all just a want to kill the other.  
  
"Whee!" Izaya laughed and made himself turn and then land on the ground perfectly, holding his arms straight above his head. "Okay Shizu-chan, I surrender!" Izaya chuckled, quickly and quietly saying, "just kidding."  
  
Shizuo groaned quickly turning himself, trying to grab Izaya but was too far away from him. "Damn it…!"  
  
"And you said you could catch me and kill me today! Shizu-chan you really are fun to play with…!"  
  
"Shut up flea! And my name is Shizuo Heiwajima!" Shizuo roared, "and if you are so god damn intelligent, why can't you understand that?"  
  
Izaya laughed took his switchblade back from his jacket's pocket. "But 'Shizu-chan' is a cute name. Don't you think so too?" Izaya smirked and looked at the former bartender into his honey coloured eyes, "Shizu-chan."  
  
"…" Shizuo looked back into Izaya's eyes, pure range in them. "You're so dead…" he sighed, taking the already broken and gnarled street sign from the ground next to him. "Izayaaa!" And so he swung the sign at Izaya, who again dodged it easily and began to ran away from him, laughing.  
  
.  
  
The sky was shaded beautifully with orange, purple and pink; it was the calm evening sky. Izaya was sitting in front of his computer on his favourite chair, looking out of the big window. He was keeping a short break from working, which he had done over 7 hours without stopping. The black haired informant was thinking about his work and what he would do after he was done working. Would he tease his customer? Saying, 'you know what? I'm not giving you the information after all'. The man would probably beg for him to give it.  
  
"What are you daydreaming about again? Can't you finish your work first?" Namie spat and gave him few files that Izaya had asked her to get.  
  
"Oh don't be boring, Namie! I was just taking a short break! Even I need those sometimes…" the raven whined, looking at the woman he didn't like all that much, with a pained expression.  
  
Namie scoffed at this. "Just finish your work so I can leave here."  
  
"Say… Namie," Izaya began after a while, "do you think Shizu-chan is human, at all?" Izaya wasn't sure himself why he was asking such a question.  
  
"About that Heiwajima again?" Namie sighed, "Isn't it your job to think things like that?"  
  
"My job?" Izaya let out a short laugh, "I think everyone should think about it! But then again only I need to know him…" Izaya muttered the rest knowing that Namie would say something about him being into Shizuo. And things like that made him feel disgusted.  
  
"If you want to know something so trivial about him, why won't you just hire someone to stalk him or something?" The already pissed off woman began to walk away from Izaya's desk. "Or you should just place cameras into his home."  
  
Again the raven laughed, this time truly amused by Namie's words. "Place cameras into his home? Hire someone to stalk him?" Izaya tried not to laugh so much. "Dear Namie, I am not a stalker…"  
  
"Well stop complaining about it then! Just continue to working already..." She kept a pause and then turned to Izaya, smirking and knowing just what to say. And Izaya noticed this and glared at her, also knowing what she was going to say. "Or do you…" she began, seeing how Izaya was already getting angry, "… want to know everything about Shizuo because …"  
  
Izaya glared at Namie and then smiled quickly, "are you sure you want to say it?"  
  
That didn't seem to scare Namie at all. Instead it seemed to amuse the woman more and she continued her sentence, "Because you actually like him?"  
  
That made Izaya glare at Namie with almost furious eyes. "Namie… Do you remember who pays your pay check?"  
  
Namie shifted a little and then glared at Izaya. "It was a joke…" she sighed. Izaya knew that bringing up money would shut her up somehow. Still, she wasn't the type who could be blackmailed easily and Izaya knew this. Still she wondered why the Heiwajima was such a big thing to him – or why it was such a sensitive topic; a taboo, maybe, "But why do you want to know so much about him anyway… He's just another man who just has anger issues."  
  
"Big anger issues. And he is not "just" a man. He's a monster with one's strength." Izaya added.  
  
"Whatever. Talking about him with you is impossible since you seem to deny everything that might be normal about him." Namie walked away, "just do your work and let me out of here!"  
  
Izaya sighed, mumbling something about Namie being a bitch and that he should fire her soon.  
  
As the informant started to get back to work, he thought about Namie's words. A stalker after Shizuo… That wasn't fun at all, because he wanted to be the one to stalk him! Just thinking about it made Izaya feel sick. Stalking Shizuo like he was obsessed with him or something and Izaya didn't want that. Plus it was impossible since Shizuo would probably sense him somehow. What about the camera thing then, would that work? It amused and thrilled Izaya somewhat. He imagined himself watching Shizuo from his laptop when Shizuo was in his own apartment, doing daily activities. Did Shizuo even have an apartment? Did he live on the streets? Izaya wouldn't be surprised if it was like that since Shizuo would smash everything in the apartment easily, breaking everything. And thinking about Shizuo doing something normal didn't seem possible to Izaya and he shook his head.  
  
"…" Izaya remembered that he did, in fact, have a camera that could be connected to his computer. He had once used it even. "I am curious…" Izaya chuckled a little. It certainly wasn't a boring idea, not at all. "It's settled then!" Izaya sang and felt thrilled again. "First I need to find out where he lives…" Izaya muttered to himself, already turned to his computer and typing into his search engine 'Shizuo Heiwajima'.  
  
Oh yes… This was certainly going to be interesting.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing!

Izaya stood in front of an ordinary apartment building. It was as normal as a building could be; it had seven floors and it was coloured with light brown. Or so it looked like in the evening sun. Izaya looked bored, and maybe he was. You see, that building was the one where the monster, Shizuo Heiwajima, lived, and Izaya had thought that it would be… well, not so normal.  
  
"It's kinda surprising…" Izaya smirked and sighed.  
  
The raven then continued to walk. He went up the stairs (since the elevator was broken) to the seventh floor and found the door that had 'Heiwajima' on it. He took something from his pocket that looked like an iron wire and soon the door was open. The raven went inside and closed the door behind him.  
  
The first thing Izaya noticed was the smell in the apartment. It was nice and warm; cozy. But still there was that tobacco smell mixed in it. In other words it smelled like Shizuo. And what surprised the informant the most, when he flicked the light on, was what he saw:  
  
Izaya had always imagined Shizuo to live somewhere outside or in a small apartment that was messy, dirty and that it smelled like garbage, but in reality he had been so wrong. Shizuo's apartment was the total opposite. It was very clean for a single man's apartment since Izaya guessed Shizuo could never have a girlfriend or a boyfriend. After all who could ever love a monster like Shizuo? Izaya walked further in to the apartment while looking around. He had six cameras he could use and so he had to think carefully where to place them. But first he had to know what kind of place Shizuo's apartment was. It also seemed that Shizuo was a tidy person, Izaya noted.  
  
Izaya walked to the living room and saw a door to the balcony on the other side of it. It was a bit small, the living room, but it seemed quite nice to him. On the left there was a black couch and a TV in front of it. There was a small table in the middle of the TV and couch as well and it was brown. Izaya laughed and snorted, thinking how normal it all was. Izaya noticed that there was a small bookshelf as well, but tried to ignore it since he had always thought Shizuo couldn't read. At least not books. Maybe something small, something like a magazine with pictures, but books? Never.  
  
Izaya turned around playfully and entered the small kitchen. There was a small dining table that had two chairs and Izaya couldn't help but to smirk. "Poor little Shizu-chan all alone..."  
  
Izaya walked back to the living room and quickly peered in to the bathroom. It was, too, clean and everything was in place. Izaya was a little disappointed. He had expected a total chaos. Well, you don't always get what you want. Izaya walked slowly towards the brute's bedroom that's door was open. The room was dark so when the informant slowly stepped inside he switched the light on.  
  
And oh what he saw.  
  
The bedroom was a polar opposite if compared to the rest of the apartment. First, the bed was rather big and it was unmade. There was a chair in the corner and it had some clothes thrown on it. Izaya couldn't help but to think of his own bedroom; Izaya almost never made his bed and was as lazy as one could be about cleaning his bedroom. 'Since no one was going to go in there why bother?'  
  
Izaya muttered something about monsters and how stupid they were.  
  
Next was the fun part: set up the cameras. He was planning on placing one somewhere to the corridor so he could see when Shizuo got back home. One to the kitchen, two to the living room and two in to the bedroom; like that he would always know where Shizuo was.

Izaya started from the front door. The clock was almost six already so Izaya had to hurry. Izaya hummed something while smirking. After he had placed the first camera he moved to the living room. Izaya looked around for a while. Now where could he place the cameras? After some thought the raven hid one of the two cameras somewhere between the books; the blonde could never find it there, because really, the cameras were small. The second camera went behind the curtain, next to the window. Like that he could see Shizuo in every corner.  
  
"This is getting so interesting already!" Izaya smirked and went to the kitchen next. He placed the camera next to the windows, behind that one small curtain that Shizuo had in his kitchen.  
  
When walking with the last two cameras to the messy bedroom, Izaya was still wondering how the monster had such a clean apartment. And over all it was rather nice. Had he hired a cleaner for himself? But then again Shizuo wasn't so wealthy so the answer was no.  
  
Izaya placed the cameras on either side of the room. He remembered how he once or twice had seen Shizuo sleeping. Again he would see him sleep! Or did he even sleep during the nights?  
  
After he had placed all the cameras he took his small laptop from the bag and opened it. He then connected the cameras and his computer and let out an excited laugh when he saw Shizuo's apartment from his computer and himself there.  
  
"Ahaha! It worked!" Izaya laughed and grinned, "I can't wait…!"  
  
.  
  
Izaya almost danced on his way back home. He was so happy and excited about everything. He wanted nothing but to look Shizuo in his own house, not knowing he was being watched.  
  
Like an animal in a cage.  
  
Izaya smirked, but then heard a roar behind him. He knew who it was – no one else could roar like that. The raven haired man turned around, only to be greeted with a trash can. He got startled a little but couldn't help but to chuckle. The trash can smashed to the ground making a loud 'bang' noise, missing him.  
  
"Izayaaa…!" Shizuo roared the informant's name, making him smirk.  
  
"Shizu-chan~! Nice to see you too," Izaya chuckled, "I already started to miss you. Did you miss me?" Izaya asked, knowing that he made the blonde angrier than he already was. And how he loved it; how wonderful it was that he could have such an effect on the monster.  
  
"Why are you here again?" Shizuo spat and began to walk towards Izaya. The said man didn't move any inch. "I'll kill you…"  
  
"Really now, Shizu-chan?" Izaya said and chuckled. This was getting so boring after all those times, but still it was so amusing when Shizuo always said the same thing over and over and over again, just like it was a spell. "Spell to keep me alive that is…" Shizuo got as close to Izaya as he could and stared into his eyes. Izaya's heart began to race and he couldn't help his smirk. Now don't get him wrong – Izaya's heartbeat didn't increase because there was nervousness in his system or that love thing. No; it was because he knew the chase would be much more than it usually was. When Shizuo got this close to him and stared at him with all his hatred and rage, it meant he would do anything to kill him; to crush him. Perhaps he had had a bad day at work.  
  
Izaya smirked that one time, looking back into Shizuo's furious gaze through his sunglasses that the blonde always had on, and smiled quickly, happy that he could soon feel that feeling of adrenaline, tiny fear and excitement, "Shall we?"  
  
That was the signal; Shizuo raised his fist and hit Izaya, who dodged the attack by jumping backwards. He laughed a little as he threw those three small knives at Shizuo. The said blonde didn't even move: two of the knives went right past him, as they almost always went, and the last one he caught with his hand.  
  
Izaya watched it all with great amazement that he still had for Shizuo and his reflexes. He threw them so fast and still the blonde could see them and then catch them! Though, Izaya didn't have much time to watch Shizuo, for the said man attacked Izaya by jumping towards him, his fist ready to hit the life out of him.  
  
Izaya dodged the attack again and laughed, starting to run away from the monster he so dearly liked to tease. Yes, Shizuo was his plaything.  
  
And again many vending machines were thrown through Ikebukuro that day. Izaya ran away from Shizuo, maybe trying to get him under a bus or a car, or a lamppost, and threw knives at him that never truly hit him. Maybe his clothes would be a little torn apart, but that was all. What came to Izaya was not much either. He would maybe fell down from a couple of stairs but it didn't make him stop. Shizuo would even hit him with a vending machine or a trash can, but for some reason it didn't change his pose one bit.  
The game of cat and mouse took them three hours. It ended when Izaya began to feel tired and remembered he had some work to do, so he then hided. Shizuo tried to find him, but a cat can't get itself into a mouse hole.  
  
.  
  
"That was so much fun~!" Izaya laughed as he fell on to his couch, exhausted from the chase. "This is why I can't stop myself from teasing him!" He laughed, a bit out of breath. He still felt excited as one could feel, adrenaline rushing through his veins. The feeling was so addicting; Izaya wondered why people would use drugs, tobacco or alcohol when one could get like this just from a chase. Even sex could never be this good, was what Izaya thought.  
  
"I hope he does kill you someday…" was heard from the kitchen and no one else than Namie walked to Izaya with a cup of coffee in hand.  
  
Izaya just laughed, waving his hand and chuckling some more.  
  
"You're insane…" The dark haired woman muttered and leaved the so-called freak alone.  
  
Izaya laughed even harder at that; Namie had no idea what he was feeling right now; he was so excited he almost thought he was soon turned on by it all. It almost was like that, but Izaya didn't ever let it happen. That would be too weird and disgusting.  
  
Izaya laid there for a few moments, just laughing and chuckling to himself. Soon he remembered that he had more fun at his computer and again he was feeling excited. Yes, the cameras.  
  
"Izaya, I'm leaving now since I don't want to be here when you're all… well, like that. Just do your work!" Namie yelled from on top of the stairs before leaving the apartment with a loud 'bang' noise as she shut the door behind her.  
  
Izaya sighed and smirked at the ceiling, "still as violent as ever…" Izaya got up then and yawned. He skipped over to his computer and opened it. He hurried to the kitchen and took some tea for himself and went back to the computer. He wrote the password (3IHateShizu-chan3) and opened the camera programme. Izaya took a sip from his tea and giggled, spinning in his chair a couple of times before fixing his gaze towards his big white screen.  
  
Izaya felt, yet again, excited and a bit anxious.

What will he see?  
  
.  
  
Shizuo was dead tired. He just wanted home or then Izaya in front of him so he could kill him. How angry – how furious - he was. It was again one of those days that Izaya was pissing him off more than he usually did. Izaya seemed so happy, so thrilled about something. And that something never meant good. So he had chased Izaya around Ikebukuro until the damn coward  had ran or hid away from him. The blonde guessed that Izaya had hidden himself somewhere and because Shizuo didn't like to play hide and seek with the flea, he had just roared Izaya's name while destroying trash cans and vending machines on his way home. What made him even angrier was the fact that almost his whole day had been waisted like that. And it will be seen on his pay check. Shizuo wasn't very wealthy, so he needed all money he could get to have the things he needed in life. That wasn't much by the way.  
  
The blonde haired man went to the store before he went home. Now you may think that Shizuo would buy meat and eat it like an animal, without cooking it or anything. But you may be surprised to know that he in fact didn't eat raw meat. The blonde ex-bartender was actually a good cook.  
  
So, what did Shizuo buy? Here's a list that was usually on Shizuo's mind whenever he went shopping:  
  
\- milk  
  
\- eggs  
  
\- bread if needed  
  
 - cheese and other things on top of a sandwich.  
  
Those were the usual things that Shizuo needed at home. Surprising? Maybe.  
  
So Shizuo bought those things and then the ingredients he needed for a chicken salad that would be his meal of the day: tomatoes, salad, chicken and apples; red and green.  
  
When Shizuo walked home from the store, a shopping bag in his left hand and a cigarette in his right, he got a weird feeling. A feeling that told him something wasn't right. And the closer he got his apartment the stronger the feeling was. You know that feeling when you think somebody was behind you but when you turn there's no one there? That was the feeling our monster was having. Shizuo did turn his head a couple of times but there were only few people behind him and they were either old people or some kid walking.  
  
"What the hell…" he muttered to himself as he continued walking. Was he followed? No, that couldn't be it because he would have noticed it; would have sensed it. Shizuo didn't really understand himself why he could sense someone so easily. He knew that people could notice if they were stared, but not as easily as Shizuo.  
  
Like an animal; like a monster.  
  
Shizuo sighed and pushed that thought of his mine and grinned a bit. Those were the thoughts he so much tried to avoid.  
  
Soon he saw the familiar building in front of him and took a deep breath; threw the cigarette on to the ground, stepping on it afterwards. He walked up the stairs and took his key from his pants' pocket. Again he got the feeling that he was being watched when he opened the door.  
  
"…" At first the blonde thought that someone was in his apartment, but something told him it wasn't like that. He stepped inside and took off his shoes, placing them side by side and muttered, like usually, "I'm home." After that he walked to the kitchen, flicking on the lights. Nothing was out of place, or so it looked like. Nothing had changed, but then again it had. What was it?  
  
Shizuo frowned and took the stuff out of the bag, placing them into the fridge and so on. "I don't like this…" he muttered while walking to the living room. Suddenly he smelled something. That something was familiar and also irritating.  
  
Like Izaya.  
  
Shizuo gritted his teeth and now glared at his apartment. "Has that damn flea been here?" he questioned and took a deep, angry breath. "If he has, I swear I kill him! I'll kill him by ripping his hands and legs off and then his oh-so-smart head!" Shizuo huffed and looked around. Was it just his imagination? After all, nothing was taken and there wasn't anything new or disturbing. Maybe Shizuo was the one who smelled like the flea? After all, he had chased him all day.  
  
Deciding that it was, in the end, Shizuo's imagination and that it was his clothes that brought that unpleasant smell into his apartment, the blonde started to take off his clothes while walking towards the bedroom. First he took off his black vest and bow. Shizuo threw them lazily on to his bed and yawned, feeling the relaxing feeling of knowing the day was almost over and it was time to take it easy. After that he started to unbutton his white dress shirt and walked to the bathroom, taking a pair of clean underwear, grey sweat pants and a white t-shirt with him from the wardrobe first.

Taking a shower before eating was the best thing Shizuo knew. The food smelled better and tasted better. And even such a simple dish as chicken salad with milk was heavenly tasting. Though the blonde still had a weird feeling that he was being watched and he tried to ignore it. And what if someone was watching him? Did they expect that he was going to explode any minute?  
  
The next good thing Shizuo knew was watching TV while eating a little bit of ice cream. So, Shizuo took some ice cream and settled down to the couch, opening the TV. The blonde yawned as the news report started and because he wasn't so interested; he just stared at the TV and began to think today's events. Of course, today was all about Izaya, which Shizuo didn't like, but he guessed it wasn't going to kill him.  
  
It all had started because the blonde had seen Izaya walking happily through Ikebukuro. Shizuo had, of course, gotten angry and ran up to Izaya, saying the usual things: why Izaya was in Ikebukuro, what he was up to now. The flea had just smirked at him like usually so Shizuo had walked closer to him. All he wanted was just to glare at Izaya so his stupid grin would fade. But of course that wasn't possible. Izaya had just gotten more happy or excited about the action, making Shizuo hit him.

Even though the raven haired informant may think that Shizuo is all about physical things and rage, and was not able to think, Shizuo had noticed a long time ago that Izaya enjoyed their chase; their little game. Of course Izaya had once or twice said that he liked it, that it made him feel amused. But Shizuo never understood why; then again he didn't really have to, for the flea was not sane. Or at least it seemed so sometimes.  
  
The blonde had eaten his ice cream during his thinking and so got up. He took the remote from the table and switched the channel to some sport channel. To Shizuo's surprise a judo match was going on; one of the sports Shizuo liked to watch. The blonde took the bowl to the kitchen and placed it into the sink. He yet hadn't washed the dishes, but because he was too tired to do them anymore, he decided to do them tomorrow before going to work. This was his usual habit anyway.  
  
Using the rest of the evening watching TV, the blonde body guard started to feel tired around twelve. And no wonder; his day had been long. Shizuo turned the TV off and headed to the bedroom and took some of his clothes, including today's clothes that had had that unpleasant smell in them, and threw them into the laundry basket next to his washing machine.  
  
Brushing his teeth and washing his face, Shizuo was ready to sleep. He took off his grey sweatpants and left them next to his bed. He moved clumsily under the covers and yawned one last time before closing his eyes still wondering about the weird feeling he had.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the second chapter edited and read through. I apologize for all the grammar mistakes!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing.

Izaya felt disgusted. He felt disgusted, confused, angry and even a bit uncertain. And it was all because of the things he had seen just a few moments ago.

Izaya frowned as he slowly moved his hand on to the mouse and clicked the windows away from his computer screen. He wasn't sure if he should say something. He wasn't sure what to think of what he had seen. The only thing he felt was anger and great disappointment. He had just witnessed Shizuo acting normal – too normal. Or actually he had seemed a bit off when he came home. He had looked around like he was waiting for someone to come out of the shadows. At first Izaya was happy to know Shizuo may have felt that someone was watching him but had frowned and huffed when Shizuo had shook his head a little and mumbled something.

As Izaya sighed and turned off his computer and got up he started to wonder Shizuo's behavior. And it was nothing like analyzing or anything like that – no. Izaya wondered why Shizuo had acted so normal. It was like he had watched a normal human being - and Izaya didn't want to believe it. Shizuo, the monster, was supposed to be… a monster. So what was all this?

"So irritating…" Izaya mumbled as he walked away from his computer. Maybe the day just wasn't right? "Yeah, that must be it…."

That night Izaya didn't sleep well.

.

Shizuo's morning began just like it would normally: he got up sleepily, yawning every other minute. He brushed his teeth and then he made himself some breakfast. He ate an egg sandwich and he drank two cups of coffee. After breakfast he went to have a smoke to the balcony.

As Shizuo looked at the street underneath him he felt calm, at least for now. The blonde brute looked at the blue sky and the few clouds that sailed there without any care in the world. "Must be easy to be a cloud…" Shizuo mumbled to himself while finishing his cigarette. He went back inside and got dressed to his usual bartender suit. As Shizuo left his apartment the thing he wished for the most was that Izaya would stay away from him. Yes indeed… That would be perfect.

So Shizuo's day began. He met Celty when he was walking towards the coffee place where he usually met up with Tom. They chatted a while and Shizuo told him about his weird 'someone is watching me in my house' feeling and Celty assured him he had just been tired. After all, chasing Izaya all day must do something to Shizuo. The blond thought about that possibility for a while and agreed that it sounded pretty logical.

"I just hope I won't feel like that anymore… it's honestly troubling."

'I believe that…' Celty typed and then seemed to think before typing again, 'I'm sure you'll forget it quickly. Maybe your work will help you with forgetting it?'

"Yeah… Let's hope so," the ex-bartender sighed and tossed the end of his still-burning cigarette to the ground and stepped on it "thanks again, Celty."

If Celty would have had a head, I think she would have been smiling as she answered the blond, 'no problem. But I got to go now. See you Shizuo!' And so she drove off just after Shizuo said "bye".

As Shizuo continued his walk towards the coffee he soon had the feeling like someone was watching him, again. He frowned and felt pissed off. "Well this day was going to be so wonderful…"

Little did he know that there was indeed someone watching him.

.

Izaya sat on the couch of his living room waiting for his client of the day. He was smirking a little as he thought about Shizuo and last night and what he had seen.

A normal Shizu-chan was a rare sight. And Izaya had seen it. And what was supposed to happen now? Well, Izaya didn't really know but he wanted more action. Sure, he still didn't like the idea of Shizuo acting like a human being but he was sure it was just because he had been tired.

"Where is the boy when I need him?" Izaya questioned to himself and his voice sounded lonely and very irritated in the big apartment. "Really now… He should be here-" And there the voice was of his doorbell and Izaya's grin was formed across his face. He went to open the door and let the boy in. "Please do come in Suzuki-kun." Izaya almost sang and the smirk was there of course.

"Thank you" said the boy and let out a sigh. "I understood you would need me to do something for you?"

"Oh yes. But please, take a seat." Izaya said and pointed the couch and sat down himself.

"…" the boy, Suzuki, then followed Izaya and sat down to the couch. He shifted then while looking around for a while. At the mean time the informant watched the boy with some interest.

"I have a… task for you." Izaya finally said and "smiled".

The boy looked at Izaya with little interest in his eyes, "and the task is?"

"You must follow a person for a while," Izaya told him and just as he said the word 'person' he had to stop himself from letting out a laugh; Shizuo wasn't 'a person'.

"And that person is?"

"Shizuo Heiwajima."

For the first time since the brown haired normal-looking-boy had stepped into the apartment of the informant he frowned, letting his poker face almost get away. "Shizuo Heiwajima? Isn't that the… monster of Ikebukuro or what do they call him…"

"Yes." Finally the boy said the word monster. See? Everyone think Shizuo as a monster so he must be one. Izaya was right, like always.

"But… you hate him. Everyone knows that. Why do you want me to stalk him?"

Izaya chuckled at that, "because you see… Shizuo is a monster. And since he hates me as well he might notice me too easily. Trust me, it would be fun to "stalk" him myself but no can do." Izaya explained quickly and then sighed deeply.

"…I see."

"So will you do it?"

"If you pay me like you promised then I don't see a reason why not."

The black haired informant smirked again and looked the boy then, making him shiver. "Good."

.

"Why is it that yesterday and this day have been so off with me? I mean… It feels like someone is constantly watching me from the shadows… It's creepy." Shizuo complained as he smoked, Celty listening next to him. The clock was about six in the evening already though the streets were not emptier than in the mornings. There were always people on the streets. This was one of those things that puzzled Shizuo.

'How's so? And didn't we talk about this before? I bet you're just tired. Just let it be.'

Shizuo huffed and let the small piece of cigarette slip from his fingers to the ground and he stepped on it lazily, uncaringly. "Maybe…"

Celty turned his head over the driveway and looked straight to the small, black alley. She was sure she felt someone was watching them from that direction.

"Oh yeah… I was about to ask you about one thing. What do you think I should…" Celty didn't hear the blondes voice anymore as she concentrated on maybe finding that someone watching them. Suddenly the feeling was gone and when she turned to Shizuo the man had his head tilted a bit, like in wonder. "... Is everything alright? You just stared there…"

Celty waved his hand and then quickly typed and showed to Shizuo: 'nothing to worry about! I just though I felt something…' If she would have had a head she would have laughed a bit nervously, 'but it was nothing.'

The blonde man in the bartender suit was silent for a while before nodding and asking again what Shizuo was going to eat today. And so they talked about sushi while being not aware of presence close to them. You see, Celty had sensed right: there was someone watching them from the shadows of the city.

The boy that Izaya had hired, Suzuki, was leaning on the wall of the building just across the street to the monster and the headless woman – if the rumors that he had heard were true. He pressed the hoodie over his head more and glanced at those two as he took his phone from his pocket and texted Izaya. He told what Shizuo had been doing and from his eyes Shizuo seemed like a normal person doing a job. Of course you had to minus all the people-throwing and ignore ripping places apart. Otherwise Shizuo seemed normal.

As the hired stalker looked up from the phone and put it away he saw no motorbike or the rider neither did he see the ex-bartender. For some odd reason he felt as if he was in a danger of some kind. And so for his own good sake and life he decided to take a break. Because if anyone would have seen Shizuo the way Suzuki has – as a normal person, kinda – no one wouldn't just go off and look for the blonde man that lived up to the name 'monster'. And so Suzuki walked off and headed towards a café. He could always continue his job tomorrow.

.

Shizuo stepped inside his apartment with a grocery bag in one hand. He sighed heavily and took off his shoes. He then lazily walked into the kitchen and left the bag there, heading towards his bedroom. He hadn't bothered to put the lights on yet, which wondered Izaya.

Well, monster always lived in the dark.

When in the bedroom Shizuo finally turned on the lights. He slowly, being tired, took off his vest and threw it lazily on the bed, followed by his white collar shirt and black bow. At this sight Izaya had to glance away. Not that he couldn't look a shirtless Shizuo or that he couldn't look because he felt embarrassed or something. He just didn't want to. It made him feel… strange. The black haired man chuckled at himself and then looked back to the monitor where Shizuo was walking towards his bathroom with a white t-shirt and a pair of black sweat pants.

"How can you be this boring Shizu-chan!" Izaya complained and huffed.

"What are you doing?" Namie asked as she put on her scarf and hat. She had been working a little over-time in hope Izaya would pay him more. And she felt like working so… "Don't say you have actually begun to stalk him with cameras or something!" In her voice there was great amusement and you could even see it from her smirk, though a hint of disgust was very noticeable as well.

"I don't have to answer you. Though I do want your guess on what he is like in his home."

"You really are a freak, aren't you?" Namie sighed and then began to walk towards the door. "What I'm guessing from that question is that he has been as normal as a person can be. Or a monster."

"It's stupid!"

"Maybe to you…" And so the door slammed and Izaya glared at the door for a moment before looking to the computer screen.

Shizuo was cooking something that looked like salmon on the stove and it looked like something was behind him.

"…what the hell is that?" Izaya frowned and zoomed towards the moving… thing. "Is that a-"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the third chapter! :D


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing.

Shizuo added a pinch of salt on to the salmon he was preparing for dinner. He sighed heavily and tried to ignore the headache that was about to form. It felt like it was about to start but then again not.

"Having a headache but then not having one… Damn it!" He murmured under his breath and sighed heavily again. Then he stopped everything he was doing, even his breathing. Something was behind him. Shizuo frowned, turned very quickly around, ready to punch or attack that something.

But nothing was there.

"…What the hell?" was the only thing Shizuo breathed out. He looked around, not seeing anything. And then he glanced down and froze.

"Meow!" A cat stood by Shizuo's feet. "Meow! Meow!"

"…What the hell?" Shizuo repeated with his eyes wide and mouth slightly open from surprise, "A cat…? What is a cat doing in here?" the blond looked around and then at the cat again when it pushed itself against his leg purring slightly. The blonde's surprise turned into confusion and then he blushed. Just slightly, but he still blushed, and bent down and carefully petted the black and white coloured cat. "You must have smelled the salmon, huh?" The cat made a sound and Shizuo snorted, amused, "I see…"

Now you must be wondering: why did Shizuo just smile at the cat? Wasn't he supposed to be a monster; a beast without feelings? Well, you see, Shizuo was that too, but he was also… a cat lover (and Shizuo did have feelings he just didn't show them often).

Shizuo loved cats. No matter what size, what breed or what colour. He loved them all. Cats were all independent and they did what they wanted and no one never really question them; because that's just what cats were. If a cat is angry it attacks anything and anyone. If a cat hurts a person and that person would get a scratch – even if it would bleed – then sure, the person would be upset. But never would the person blame the cat for it, not completely. Because: "the cat was just upset and I touched it. Of course it attacked me. It's my fault". That was partly the reason why Shizuo sometimes wanted to be a cat. Because if he was one he could get angry without regretting anything after he had done something. If he was a cat no one would look at him with a look that practically yelled: "monster!"

And cats were cool, also. They could just lie all day long without a care in the world.

Shizuo lifted the cat to his arms and then got up himself. He looked at the cat that looked back at him, and then asked: "so… how did you even get here? It's the seventh floor…"

The cat answered with a meow.

"Did you get here from the balcony or something?" Shizuo put the cat back down and went over to the balcony door, which was open. "…" The blonde mumbled something and then just went back to the kitchen to continue making his food. "You know buddy," Shizuo started and glanced at the cat, "it's pretty dangerous to play on the roof. Plus it's a long way down to my balcony from the roof anyway… No way have you come down from there. And where's your owner? Don't say you're a street cat…"

And so the "conversation" went on until Shizuo was eating his rice and salmon at his small dinner table in his small kitchen with a glass of milk. And of course the cat got his own share too.

When Shizuo went to bed, around 1 AM, the cat was still there in his apartment and Shizuo didn't really even know why. Maybe it was because he didn't really care for the cat being around and he figured that he could just take it out of his apartment when he left to work tomorrow. As Shizuo lay on his bed, not really feeling tired, he thought about things. Those things being any thought that would help him get some sleep or just to relax. This Shizuo's usual thinking process was disturbed though, by the cat. It jumped on to the bed a little uncertainly and looked at Shizuo and Shizuo looked back at it. Both of them probably thought of what the other was possibly thinking or what the other would do next.

The cat acted first. It made a tiny sound and walked towards the blonde man who was still just staring at it. Once the cat was beside Shizuo it sniffed the air and Shizuo's arm that was resting there beside him, and then slowly lied down and looked at Shizuo.

The blonde man looked at the cat and soon reached to turn the lights off. After that he looked at the cat and began to pet it as gently as he could, making the cat actually purr.

Shizuo wondered why he lost his temper so often. In fact he thought about that a lot. Why couldn't he be relaxed even for a second? But then again it was the people's fault for being so annoying… They all just wanted to fight him. All of them were idiots. Hell, even he was an idiot for losing his temper for such little things. (This kind of thoughts made him feel irritated though, so he did his best to distract himself from them as quick as possible.)

But now there was a question that made him very confused. This question, this mystery, was said out loud by Shizuo himself as he still looked at the purring cat.

"…How did you get here again?"

The cat only closed his eyes as the warm hand kept petting him gently.

.

The clock in the corner of the computer screen showed 00:15. There was a small whirr noise that came from the computer. Rest of the stylish apartment was silent. Only a few lamps were on in the entire apartment. The owner of the house, Izaya, was lying on one of the sofas.

Izaya was once again confused over the person – no – the monster: Shizuo Heiwajima. Izaya gritted his teeth in irritation. "He's so irritating! Irritating! Irritating!" Izaya shouted the last word angrily, "He's faking it! I know he's faking it!" Izaya groaned and sat up quickly and almost pouted as he looked out of the window into the darkness of the night. Though, it wasn't so dark because the city lights lighted up the streets. Izaya sighed and muttered, "He has to be faking it…"

Izaya was like that for a while. He didn't really think about anything until he saw his game board on the café table. There were no pieces on the board; it was empty and boring-looking. Izaya thought for a second that he could put a white King and a black King on to the board, but then he realized it would still be boring, so he decided not to. Not that he told anyone but he had the board and the images of the white and the black King on the board on his mind. He tried to think about a plan for his monster, how to get information about him more, how to irritate him more, how to make him lose his temper for good; how to prove he was just the monster Izaya knew him to be, which he always had been. And for the tiniest second the informant felt something move in him, becoming something he might have not liked if he knew what it was.

"I'm way too bored… Oh! Right! Suzuki said he would get here tomorrow…" Izaya got up yawning, "time to go to bed then."

And when Izaya had changed his clothes to something more comfortable, meaning a black silk pyjama, and was lying on his bed, he thought about what he had just seen. With the monster and the cat, how Shizuo had reacted to the cat… It pissed him off. He also noticed how bored he actually was; playing around with Shizuo, stalking him, getting more information about him? It all was a little too creepy if you wanted to think about it that way, for Izaya at least.

"But then again it's the best if only I knew anything about him…" Izaya mumbled and he sighed again, turned around and hugged a pillow that was just lying there among the few others and closed his eyes. He would decide what to do about Shizu-chan tomorrow.

.

"…Suzuki-san… Could you repeat that to me please?" Izaya asked with a forced smiled.

"I said I won't stalk – or gather information – about Heiwajima Shizuo for you anymore. I don't want to die young." It was clear that he got goose bumps from just thinking about the Heiwajima.

Izaya looked the teen for a while until he hummed, "Why?" Izaya of course was 99% sure what the answer was but still wanted to hear it. He wanted to hear the truth.

"Because it's like he knows I'm following him. Like he senses me…" Suzuki looked at Izaya with an uncomfortable look on his face, "it's like he's a…"

_"A monster"_

Izaya tensed as he waited that word to come out from the boy's mouth.

"It's like he's a monster."

And so the meeting ended. Izaya paid the boy just like he promised and after that the boy left with a hurry. – And no wonder; Izaya might have blackmailed him somehow – again.

The informant stood in front of the window behind his desk silently with a blank expression. He was thinking about the boy's face when he said the sentence "it's like he's a monster". It was clear Suzuki really had thought so: he's eyes had had that mixture of fear and doubt. Izaya nodded to himself.

See? He had been right. Shizuo Heiwajima was a monster in a human body.

"Izaya," a familiar female voice was heard from the stairs as Namie came down with a small pile of files and such. "Do you think I could leave here a little earlier?" She had that usual bored voice again.

Izaya snorted, "Why?"

"I need to see Seiji. I heard he might be in trouble."

Izaya turned around and looked at his secretary for a while until he grinned, or smirked, and went to sit on his chair. "Trouble? I see… What sort of trouble? Maybe I can help!" Izaya knew full well Namie would never want any help from him but it was worth the try.

"No thank you. Knowing you he will get even more trouble." She glared at her boss and went to sit on the couch, "So, can I? I have finished most of my work already…"

"Yes, yes… Just run to help your dear brother."

"I'll take my leave after I'm finished sorting these files."

Izaya just waved his hand and opened his computer. He was still bored. He had no clients, no plans for his humans and Shizu-chan was currently irritating him with his "normal" behaviour. "Namie-san… When were you leaving?"

"In an hour or so. Why?"

Izaya just nodded and opened the chat. There were a few people online, which was a good thing. Maybe there was some news from Ikebukuro again? Or maybe Shizu-chan had done something normal – normal meaning normal for a monster. But of course as soon as Izaya had some good conversation with his online friends both of them had to leave. What was he supposed to do for an hour? That's when he remembered Shizuo.

He closed the chat, glanced at Namie and then opened the camera file. As soon as the camera began to load and get a connection Izaya's heartbeat increased. Maybe Shizuo had killed the cat? That wouldn't be nice though because cats were cute. In fact Izaya was pretty sure he would get angry with Shizuo if he had killed the poor thing.  
The first camera showed Shizuo's bedroom, which was empty. The second camera showed the living room which was empty as well and then the kitchen that was empty too. Was no one home? Then Izaya switched to the last camera that showed the front door. And there was Shizuo! He was putting his shoes on. The blonde had his usual outfit on, which was still ridiculous to Izaya (because why would Shizuo still have the bartender suit on? Though, now that Izaya thought about it, no other clothes would suit the monster as well as suits…). The cat was there, beside him, licking itself. What gender was it anyway? Shizuo soon opened the door, lifted the cat onto his arms, turned off the lights and left the apartment.

Izaya glanced at the clock. It was around 1 PM. Now that Izaya thought about it Shizuo left his apartment usually around this time… "Do I have any clients today?"

"…No. And why do you ask me? You know your own clients and your own schedule better than anyone," Namie turned to the black haired man with a doubting frown on her face, "Izaya… What are you planning?"

The said man just stared at his computer screen with a cunning smile. "Me? Nothing… Nothing at all."

.

The clock hit three in the afternoon and Ikebukuro was once again full of people. The sun was shining and nothing was out of the ordinary. Not yet, at least. Shizuo and Tom were walking towards their next target, a man, who hadn't paid them in a long while.

"They say he's been here for a few days… Let's hope he still is," Tom marked and Shizuo nodded.

Shizuo was feeling tired. He didn't know why he was tired but it made him feel annoyed. Having the kind of work he had required energy. And now that Shizuo didn't have enough of it, he was too close to lose his temper already. Why couldn't people just pay? All would be so easy if people just paid.

Right then a couple of cats jumped behind some boxes on the alley just as Shizuo and Tom turned there heading towards the door. Shizuo remembered the cat that had found its way to his apartment yesterday evening. Would the cat come again? It was cute though… And even though it was a street cat (or so Shizuo figured from its rather dirty fur) it wasn't so scared of Shizuo. Usually street cats were scared of humans, weren't they? Maybe the cat had an owner once… Shizuo sighed and frowned a little. The thought of someone leaving a cat alone in some box at some alley made him angry.

Tom knocked on the door but no one answered. They waited a while and when no one answered Tom kicked the door open and Shizuo walked in behind him. There the man was sitting on a couch, shocked. "How did you get in here?!" he almost yelled. Shizuo gritted his teeth and Tom began to talk about how he hadn't paid them yet and that they needed the money now. Of course the man soon recovered from his "shock" and spitted out some rubbish about how he had already paid and about "leave me alone!" It didn't take long to Shizuo have enough and again one man was sent to fly over Ikebukuro.

"You seem kind of off today Shizuo…Is everything okay?" Tom asked and glanced at his work partner's face.

Shizuo shrugged. "Just tired…" and as he talked he took a cigarette from his pocket and lit it up. "I know it's early but could we have a break now? I didn't sleep well last night and… Everything just pisses me off…!" Shizuo huffed and then fixed his sunglasses.

"Uh… yeah, sure. Why not. I'll get some coffee for us."

"Yeah, thanks." And so Shizuo began to walk towards the park hoping he would get some place to sit down.

The park wasn't as full as Shizuo had guessed. In fact it was quite peaceful. Shizuo walked across the park, past the water fountain and sat on to the bench that was placed just so that the sun shone upon it. Shizuo sat silently there and took a long smoke from his cigarette. And just when he felt a little relaxed, he felt someone sit down to the other side of the bench. The blonde didn't bother to look who it was because it didn't really matter. He just hoped that she or he wouldn't make any loud noise.

Shizuo enjoyed the warm sun shine on his face. It made him feel relaxed, which was a good thing at the moment. He even dreamt that someday he could go to the beach or then to the country side and just bath in the sun the whole day. There would be enough peace and quiet for him and no one would probably piss him off. What would a one, peaceful day, cost him? He didn't have too much money either so a vacation wasn't available for his wallet yet. The blonde man's eyes drifted shut without him even really noticing it.

.

Izaya walked among the crowd, hoping to see even a glance of blonde hair or hear someone roar his name. That would make his boring day much less boring. Come to think of it, Shizuo was always a good method to keep boredom away. But alas no blonde hair was seen or a roar heard. Izaya walked by Russia Sushi, were Simon was, standing tall, telling everyone to come by. He tried to give brochures away to the people again too. The raven haired informant didn't say anything else but "hi" to Simon. He wasn't in the mood to talk to him, though Simon didn't say anything more either.

To Izaya the day seemed to be full of nothing. Even his humans weren't doing anything much, just their normal "social" things. If only he could meet with Shizuo.  
Once Izaya entered the park he was filled with irritation and boredom. Shizu-chan was nowhere to be found and he was feeling a little hungry too. Maybe he could go to Russian Sushi after his search was over? Get some information on something? He still wished to found the monster though.

Izaya walked over a bench while looking at his phone for any updates (to work or news). Of course there was no news or no new work for him. It seemed like the whole day was against him.

And that's when he turned his head to see the person who he sat next to. His eyes widened in surprise.

Izaya's beloved monster was, you see, right there, sitting next to him eyes closed. The sun was shining right upon his face, making his blond hair almost look like one of a prince's. Izaya did his best not to laugh at the sight.

"Shizu-chan a prince? Hahaha!" The information broker grinned. He had found Shizu-chan. But why hadn't he noticed him? "Usually he senses me even a little bit too easily…" Izaya stared at the blonde monster for a good while and then frowned. Why wasn't he noticing him? Was he asleep? But monsters - as well as animals - were supposed to sense if they were stared even in asleep. Shizu-chan was supposed to notice him!

Izaya felt irritated by the lack of attention. He put his hand into his pocket to feel his switch blade there in case he needed it soon and moved closer to Shizuo. And as Izaya had guessed, Shizuo was asleep.

"Oh… So even a protozoan like Shizu-chan can doze off like this…" Izaya peeked at Shizuo and chuckled quietly, "such deep sleep…"

To Izaya, Shizuo looked almost too human when he was asleep. It bothered the informant, and making a mental note about it to himself, he got up slowly. Izaya wanted to wake up Shizuo but then he felt like he shouldn't. He turned around to look at the ex-bartender and glared at him with all he got; still no reaction. Izaya huffed and felt like kicking Shizuo.

Or maybe he should kill him now? Izaya shook his head. That would be too simple. Besides, Izaya didn't really want to kill Shizuo. After all he was a monster and would probably wake up from the depths off hell. And that would bring Izaya trouble.

Izaya took a step closer to the bench and stared at Shizuo until he was so close he could feel Shizuo's deep breathing. His chest fell and rose slowly. "He really is in deep sleep, huh?" Izaya muttered to himself and then sighed heavily. If he woke Shizuo up now would he be angry? Most probably.

After a while Izaya did something he wouldn't even consider normally. But this day was already pretty strange so he let it go.

Izaya slumped next to Shizuo with a huff and leaned against him. He hoped Shizuo would just wake up to see how close he was. To see that it wasn't a good idea to sleep at a public place anymore. But of course that didn't happen. "The hell?" he mumbled and sighed deeply. Izaya just sat there then, thinking about what he should do next to get the blonde awake. He didn't even notice how the warm sun shine made him sleepy; how Shizuo's body heat felt good. Slowly his eyes began to close.

.

Tom wondered where Shizuo had gone to. He had told Shizuo that he would get them some coffee but now he had probably searched about 15 minutes and had found nothing. Tom entered the park, figuring Shizuo would be there if nowhere else. And if he wasn't at the park he would just call him.

Tom walked over the water fountain and looked around. He didn't see any blondes around. He was about to call Shizuo when he turned around and saw his friend sitting on a bench… with someone? Tom chuckled and began to walk over to them. He almost called Shizuo's name but the sight in front of him made him quiet. Hell, it would have made anyone who knew Shizuo quiet. Tom's eyes just widened.

Shizuo and Izaya were sitting next to each other, Izaya leaning against Shizuo, they both deep asleep. The two enemies looked comfortable like that, leaning against each other. They actually looked very much like they were… lovers, and that they were cuddling. Tom didn't want to think about it more than that but still his mind was quick enough to think: "they actually look good together". Tom made a face.

He didn't know if he wanted to know what was going on. All he could do was to leave the scene and leave the two of them like that, alone. There were two reasons that made his actions wise. 1. He still had work to do (a lot of it because he didn't have Shizuo with him now) and 2. If Shizuo woke up now, found out Izaya was right there… Well, Tom didn't want to know the outcome.

And like that the brown haired man left the very, very rare scene of Shizuo Heiwajima and Izaya Orihara alone.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The cat was a surprise huh? Well it will have an important part in the story in the end~ I'm sorry if this chapter is a bit boring :/ The end wasn't though, at least I like it because it's cute. Just the thought of them kind of cuddly makes me happy and warm inside ;u ;
> 
> Thanks for reading! Feedback would be nice C:


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing.

Usually Izaya wouldn't mind if it was a little cold when he was sleeping. In fact, he actually liked it when it was a bit chilly. That way he could cool himself off a little in the warm nights when it was summer. Cold sheets on a soft, comfortable bed were so nice… But this, where he was now, was far from nice. It was really cold and there was no blanket what so ever –

"…" Izaya frowned at the memory. Indeed, this was not his apartment at all; it was the park. The informant opened his eyes, or tried at least, and frowned some more. After a while of thinking he remembered the whole thing. How he had found Shizuo sleeping next to him by coincident and how he had fell asleep next to him (at least it seemed so). Izaya quickly sat up and looked around only to find Shizuo standing there, not far away from the bench where he was, smoking. Izaya made a displeased face, "Why do I have to see you as the first thing after a good nap?"

Shizuo let himself have one last smoke from his cigarette before letting it fall to the ground, "That's my line, Izaya," the blonde looked at Izaya after he had stomped the cigarette to the ground, "And start explaining now before I kill you."

"Explain what?" the informant chuckled and smirked. He had a hard time keeping his poker face on; he couldn't understand how he had fallen asleep like that! "There's nothing to explain. Or actually there is though…"

Shizuo glared at Izaya and took a few steps closer to him, "I asked first, flea! EXPLAIN!" The blonde roared and Izaya quickly got up from the bench just right before Shizuo threw a punch – just like he had guessed. Shizuo was too easy to read sometimes.

"What a horrible way to say good morning to a person, Shizu-chan," Izaya remarked as he watched Shizuo quickly lifting the bench, ready to throw it at him.

"I said" the blonde started and then threw the bench as he roared again, "explain!"

There of course was no way Izaya was going to explain something like that to Shizuo. And truth to be told, he didn't really know how to explain it. Should he just say "yeah I was just trying to wake you up, maybe, but then I fell asleep by accident right next to you"? No way was he going to do that. Besides he wanted to know something too: why hadn't Shizuo killed him while he was sleeping? He wanted to ask but somehow Shizuo seemed very aggressive at the moment and Izaya was 100% sure the protozoan wouldn't listen to him even if he could explain.

The chase began.

Izaya tried to throw knives at Shizuo but they didn't work at all. He tried to get different things like a lamp poll or a big sign to fall on to the blonde but they didn't work either. They did slow him down a bit but still. And again Izaya could only glance at the blonde and his strength that no one could explain properly as the fought. Shizuo roared Izaya's name while the said man dodged his attacks.

When the two enemies ran into some alley the sky was getting dark. The sun was going down. Izaya ran to the wall and quickly turned around and panted. They had run a while already and he was getting tired. Shizuo walked towards him, never looking away from the flea as if he was about to hunt him down.

Just like a brute.

"Shizu-chan! I'm tired… I just woke up…" The informant smirked and chuckled as he held a blade in his hand.

The blonde snorted, "I'm not buying something like that! And even if you were then it would be a good thing since I can punch the living hell out of you…!"

"Are you always this grumpy in the mornings Shizu-chan? I would have thought you were the sleepy type…"

"Shut up!"

Izaya stared Shizuo into his eyes and Shizuo stared right back at him. A strange feeling surrounded Izaya, which made his heart beat faster. Again it was like this… Shizuo trying to corner him, knowing full well that Izaya would still get away somehow. Or did he even know it? Izaya took a step closer to Shizuo and smirked.

"Don't you even think about it…" Shizuo grumbled but all he got was a light chuckle.

Izaya dashed towards Shizuo who was clearly waiting for Izaya to jump over him. So he didn't. Though it looked like it. He just somehow rolled under Shizuo's legs, stood up and began to run away as fast as he could. And Shizuo, who hadn't seen it coming, cursed and turned around and started to chase the informant again. "Izayaa!" he roared again but the only answer he got was: "not stopping, sorry!"

.

"Namie-san? Are you here?" Izaya called as he entered his apartment. Izaya took off his jacket and threw it to the couch as he walked into his kitchen, "Oh yeah… She isn't here anymore. Something about his brother, right?" The informant just chuckled as he took out a carton of juice and a glass from the cabinet. And after he had drunk a glass of juice he dragged himself to his couch and let himself fall on to it with a loud huff.

The apartment was silent and dark around the raven. There was no one in there except Izaya, the man who looked ordinary but was just the opposite.

He lied like that for a couple of minutes or more and then said quietly: "Shizu-chan." He said nothing else for a while and then frowned just slightly and repeated: "Shizu-chan." A picture of the protozoan and his usual glare appeared in his mind. "A protozoan" he said then and saw Shizuo in his mind. "…a monster." Again Izaya saw Shizuo in his mind and he sighed. "Humans," the black-haired man said then and with a slight snort of relief he saw Shinjuku's and Ikebukuro's streets and all his dear humans walking around. But in the middle of the crowd walked a figure – a familiar figure.

Izaya felt like he wanted to scream. He knew he made himself think about the blonde in the middle of that crowd because he was always there. Right there, in the middle of humans as a mess of protozoan and monster.

Izaya was tired. And when he was tired he liked to watch TV and eat an apple or something similar. So he got up and went to get an apple from the kitchen, sat back to the couch and opened his TV and began to watch some anime show that was on. He soon discovered that it was some sort of romance anime about two boys. Well, at least Izaya thought it was since the other white-haired boy kissed the black-haired one. The informant didn't know why but he grew a little irritated about the show. It wasn't like he had something against this gay-thing (yaoi, was it? At least he had heard people talk about it in the internet) but… Let's just say Izaya wasn't so fond of it. And why would he need to be? He was a guy after all. And then he remembered how Namie always made fun of him and Shizuo; how they had some weird "thing" going on. She had even called it sexual tension at some point.

"Hahaha! Exactly," Izaya grinned with amusement. Such statements would only be made by someone like her, "I have Shizu-chan." This made Izaya laugh so hard he thought that he would die. His laughter filled the whole apartment and he truly sounded mad – just like he was called by many people.

A ringing voice was heard, which made Izaya calm down. The voice came from his cellphone that was inside the pocket of his jacket on the couch. Izaya got up and went to take his cellphone hoping that he would get a client or some hint about something fun. He could use something like that now.

Izaya had an email waiting for him. He opened it and a smirk formed on his lips when he discovered someone wanted information about a person. That someone didn't tell from whom he wanted information though, but it didn't trouble Izaya. He figured it was a girl or a woman since the man said it was a bit personal. This was the message Izaya got:

_To: Orihara Izaya_

_From: Shimura Sora_

_I need information about a person, whose name I am not going to reveal in this message just in case. I apologize but I hope you understand. This matter is a personal one so I'm hoping we could meet in person. Almost anywhere is fine – but not in Ikebukuro since the person I seek information about lives there. If it's okay I would prefer to discuss payment when we meet._

_Thank you,_

_\- Shimura Sora_

"Ikebukuro, huh? That city really is something! Something's always happening there... I can't wait!" And so Izaya replied that he would help him happily and told him his address and the time that would be okay to meet, which was tomorrow at noon or after. Soon the man replied and told him tomorrow was fine around 12 AM and 12:30 PM.

"I wonder what kind of information he wants… Maybe he has money problems? Maybe he has a big secret! Or then it's boring like a woman… Oh well!" All this made Izaya chuckled from excitement – and it also made him forget his apple on to the table.

The truth was he didn't want to think about a certain someone, who had been on his mind ever since he left Ikebukuro. It bothered him so much it was unbearable but somehow he had gotten past it by buryng it deep inside his mind. Still, there was a feeling Izaya couldn't shake off and he knew that that feeling was about to be discovered and possibly change something about him. But he was Izaya and this kind of thing, inspecting his own feelings… it had never been his strong side. And so the matter was, believe it or not, forgotten.

As the evening grew old and even darker, Izaya began to feel hungry and bored. Tired of watching TV he went to turn on his computer and got some food from the kitchen; just some ramen that needed nothing but hot water.

Izaya opened his web browser and the chat. No one was there so he closed it and read some news instead. Once he was finished with the news and his ramen he closed the window and stared at the camera icon that was placed almost alone to the left upper corner of his computer screen. He stared at it with a boring expression before finally opening it. "Why do I feel like this is a bad idea…" Izaya muttered and opened all the cameras to the screen.

No one was there.

"Shizu-chan isn't home? Hah! Maybe he got run over by a car," This seemed too unrealistic so Izaya let out a lonely sigh. Soon the door was opened in the hallway and Izaya's gaze was quickly on the ex-bartender. He had a cat in his hands.

"A cat?" Izaya wondered out loud, "Isn't that the same cat that broke into his house…? Did he decide to eat it after all?"

Shizuo didn't eat the cat of course, but put it down to the floor and took off his shoes. Izaya had no idea what he was supposed to think of this. Shizuo had a weird expression on his face, like he was regretting something. Izaya had again all sorts of thoughts about Shizuo feeling guilty about killing someone or braking someone's leg or arm, but nothing like that had happened.

The blonde walked slowly past the cat to the living room and from there went to the bedroom. The black-haired information broker just stared at Shizuo and the cat. The furry thing had followed Shizuo and was attacking his legs now, making Shizuo frown. He muttered something, probably saying "don't attack my legs", and lifted the cat to the bed where the animal complained something and stared at the blonde. Shizuo unbuttoned his shirt and threw it on to the bed. Next he took a towel and his "home clothes" and went to the bathroom.

Izaya wondered how Shizuo acted so normally again. A little while ago he had been a killing machine.

.

"I really crossed the line this time, didn't I?" Shizuo said out loud as the warm water ran over him. He stared at the white wall in front of him and sighed deeply – almost sadly.

You see, Shizuo was feeling bad about himself like he always did. But today… today he had really felt like he could have killed Izaya if he had had a chance. Of course he always wanted to kill him but…

"Aaa!" he almost screamed and glared at the wall with a grumble. "This is so irritating…" Shizuo could still remember how his heart had skipped a beat when he had woken up and realized someone was leaning on to him and how his heart had skipped another beat when he saw who it was.

Shizuo decided to leave the memories after the shower. Otherwise he might just break a wall or something, which he couldn't afford at the moment. So he washed himself and after drying and putting his usual white t-shirt and sweat pants on he left the bathroom. And when he opened the door he was greeted with a loud "meow". The cat stood in front of him and then ran to the kitchen. This made Shizuo smile a bit.

"So you're hungry too?" The cat made a couple of "meows", making Shizuo chuckle, "Alright… I'll do some food for us, just wait a bit." Shizuo dried his hair with the towel he had over his head, while he opened the fridge, took out a couple of vegetable and some chicken.

Shizuo sighed deeply as he stared at the ceiling of his living room. The cat was on his lap licking himself and looked very pleased while he was lying on the couch. It was no wonder the cat was so happy after a meal like he just had. Any cat would have been happy; it was a lucky cat indeed. Shizuo smiled just a little as he watched the cat being like that. How happy it looked…

"…" The blonde frowned at the memory that he let slip on to his mind. The memory was from the afternoon today, when he had woken up. "Why didn't I wake up then?" he asked himself and maybe from the cat as well though it mostly ignored him.

Shizuo could remember Izaya's face too well when he woke up before him. He could remember how he felt embarrassed and confused at that time by that face too…

Shizuo had woken up from the park bench sleepily. Nothing had really woken him up so he hadn't felt a sudden urge to get up. He had looked forward and seen the clock which showed it was almost four already. He had wondered how long he had been there when he realized he wasn't alone: there was someone next to him. At first he had been very startled, but when he had turned his head to see who it was he had almost had a heart attack. Never in the world could had he guessed his worst enemy, Izaya Orihara, could be the one sleeping there right next to him. And he had leaned against him too… Shizuo had tried not to yell and throw Izaya away - it had not been an easy task, mind you. Izaya had looked so peaceful, and now that Shizuo thought about it, he had looked entirely different from his usual self; the one who was always smirking or grinning evilly. The smaller man had actually looked peaceful and somehow even smaller. That was the other reason he hadn't woken Izaya up. The other was a feeling Shizuo got. Or it wasn't a feeling actually. Shizuo just somehow knew Izaya wouldn't kill him in his sleep either, probably saying something "it would be too easy".

Shizuo muttered something as he petted the cat which then curled into a ball and purred slightly.

Shizuo let himself close his eyes for a second. He just didn't understand. Why was he feeling guilty over a normal thing? Chasing Izaya without a second thought – it had been the one thing he let himself do without thinking what would actually happen if he got him cornered and into his grasp.

Shizuo stopped petting the cat and a slight red colour rose on his cheeks as he remembered Izaya's arms around his arm when he was sleeping. It was like his arm had been a cuddly toy.

_A nice_ dream about _Izaya._

Something was seriously wrong with him, he knew it.

Shizuo remembered Izaya's face too: it had looked… cute. Not that he would ever admit it. And almost everyone looked cute when they were sleeping so he didn't think about it more.

"Such a pain…" the blonde grumbled and sighed deeply. But his biggest issue was his feeling of guilt- "How the hell did I get distracted from it by Izaya?!" Shizuo roared when he realized he had just thought Izaya and not his guilt. Izaya! For the love of- The cat jumped quickly away from him as well. "That's it! I'm going to KILL HIM!" Shizuo roared loudly, sat up quickly and then glared at the wall so hard it probably would have broken down if Shizuo hadn't calmed down so soon.

He was just so confused. How had he been like that? Was it even possible for him to -

"Okay, that's it… I'm going to sleep…" And that was all he said before brushing his teeth and going to bed, ending the most confusing day he had ever had, at least, for now.

.

_'Shinra's face when he sleeps?'_

"Yeah. Tell me how he looks."

' _Well…'_ Celty began and then typed for a while until showing Shizuo, _'He's cute! He looks really, really cute! Though sometimes he has a goofy expression… That makes me laugh every time…!'_ And she also added, _'Oh! And he looks very peaceful sometimes but just sometimes! Usually he has a stupid face. Ah, but then almost everyone looks cute or goofy when they sleep…'_

"…I see."

' _Why do you ask, Shizuo?'_   Typing, _'But Shinra really looks funny when he sleeps, especially when he falls asleep in the middle of work!'_ It seemed like Celty was laughing judging by her slightly shaking pose.

Shizuo snorted at the image of Shinra and his "goofy" sleeping face, "So you think almost everyone looks cute when they sleep, too?"

Celty nodded _'Yeah. Really Shizuo, why do you ask something like that?'_

"There's no reason really… Just asked."

Soon a loud noise was heard. It was coming from a police vehicle or two. Both Shizuo and Celty turned their heads to the sound's direction. It was coming closer and closer. Very soon, before any questions were said out loud, a very expensive looking car drove past them fast. And soon after it a couple of police men drove past the two friends on their motorcycles, very fast as well. Celty jumped a bit at the sight but seemed to relax and sigh when they were out of sight.

"One of those people huh… Haven't there been many speeding cases this week?"

' _Now that you mentioned it: it really has been! I almost got into trouble because of some man driving too fast a couple of days back! And those police men are scary too… Really they are! Have I told you about them?'_

Shizuo took his box of cigarettes from his chest pocket, "I don't remember… You have mentioned them once though…" Celty began to type and while she did that Shizuo lit his cigar and took a smoke, "You said something about them being scary. Those police men on motorbikes..."

' _That's right! They are scary! They're not afraid of my shadows either!'_ Celty took his phone again and was about to type but then stopped and looked at her friend (not that Celty actually looked at him because she didn't have a head). Shizuo looked back and soon Celty typed again: _'about that question of yours… Can I guess?'_

The blonde frowned in slight confusion, "Guess what?"

' _Why you asked it!'_   Shizuo shrugged and Celty typed, _'Did you see someone or something sleeping?'_

"Maybe…"

' _And then you were surprised how cute or funny he/she looked (since I don't know who you saw or what)!'_

Shizuo's eyes widened a little, _"Was I that obvious?"_ He looked away from her and sighed. "I don't think… Well yeah, it was something like that… Kinda."

' _Oh! Was it a girl? It must have been! And then...! Did you… Shizuo did you maybe-'_ Celty typed as fast as she could and then looked like she was chuckling or giggling as she showed the screen to Shizuo again before he could say anything to her guesses: _'And now you can't forget how she/he looked! Shizuo that's called a crush! You have a crush on that person!'_

Shizuo made a face that made Celty jump a little. He was shocked and even beyond that, "No way! Celty don't ever even say something like that! Izaya— He…I don't have a crush on him!"

Celty, if she had a head and could speak, would have screamed what she now typed: _'IZAYA?! You saw_ _ **him**_ _sleeping?! I didn't know that! I'm sorry!'_ And as quickly as she could she jumped on her bike and rode as fast as she could away from the scary Heiwajima, who was looking like he could destroy the whole city. Not that Shizuo was mad at Celty for guessing something as ridiculous as that. It was just that when a thought like that is said out loud it's like someone said you love your best friend. But it's worse since they weren't friends but arch enemies. Izaya hated him and he hated Izaya.

"You don't like me Shizu-chan? I'm shocked!"

Shizuo snapped his head towards the all-too-familiar voice. And when he saw Izaya he grumbled, irritated, "Izaya…"

Izaya smirked, "or then I'm not…" He began to walk towards Shizuo casually, humming something on the way, "What were you talking about with Celty, Shizu-chan? I know you talked about me but… "

"It's none of your business! Why are you here anyway? And again! You know I hate seeing you here," The blonde gritted his teeth and let the cigar between his fingertips fall to the ground, forgotten. "Wasn't yesterday enough? Or are you plotting something again?"

"Aren't you talk-active today?" The informant stopped a couple of meters away from the blonde. He just stared at him but soon frowned, looking very annoyed, "Say… Shizu-chan…"

"What is it?" he spat and frowned as much as Izaya did. Again he felt his own blood boiling and he soon felt annoyed to no end.

"I heard something ridiculous today… Want to hear what it was? What one of my clients said?" Izaya knew Shizuo wouldn't reply to him so he just kept a small pause. And as he spoke next, his words were dripping with disgust, anger and most of all... confusion, "He said that I was obsessed with you, Shizu-chan. Because I wouldn't give them any information about you, you see!" Izaya snorted and glanced away with a small grin on his face, "I don't understand humans sometimes," he added and looked Shizuo into his eyes with a strange look on his face, "Just because I don't want anyone else to know you better than I do, doesn't make me obsessed you, right, Shizu-chan? Even a protozoan like you knows that."

And that was when everything took a different turn and meaning: every act, every spoken sentence and every fight was now something that it was not in the beginning, though neither of them knew that. Not yet anyway.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the fifth chapter, ladies and gentlemen! :D I hope you enjoy it and that the ending is pleasing. The next chapter will explain everything, of course. Thanks for everyone who gave me a kudos! ♥ They are much appreciated. Oh, and I hope the character study, kind of, that's going on is pleasing you. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! :3


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing.

_This takes place right before Izaya goes to Shizuo and tells him how his client said he had an obsession. In other words: "the flashback"._

The clock was a little after twelve in the afternoon and the sun was shining on the sky. The informant and his client were at the informant's apartment. The client had just arrived and was now sitting on the couch while Izaya was about to serve him something to drink. There was nothing out of the ordinary in the picture, yet.

"What would you like to drink? Coffee or tea perhaps?" the black-haired man questioned as he stood a little further away from his client.

"Coffee, please," was the short answer.

"Coffee it is then." Izaya's gaze, as he poured the coffee into the cup carefully, slowly fell onto his client. The man was very tall and had short brown hair. His eyes were like a killer's or a soldier's. He didn't seem like a person who talked much and even when he had arrived and they greeted the man had just said "nice to meet you". What could he possibly want to know and from whom?

Izaya walked over to his client with two cups of coffee and placed one of them in front of his client and the other across the table to where he sat. He had a tray placed on the table with sugar and milk.

"So… I'm assuming you want to get into business without small talk?"

"You are as sharp as the say."

Izaya couldn't help the usual smugly smirk from forming on to his face, "Thank you." Izaya watched the man take a sip from the coffee. He looked right back with a blank expression and then with a blink he lowered his gaze. Izaya did not know his name yet for the man hadn't told it to him yet for some reason. Not that he minded. He could always find it out easily. "So what do you want to know from this person Mr…?"

"Yoshimura."

"Yes, Mr. Yoshimura" Izaya nodded and leaned against the couch, "…What do want to know?" he repeated and was pleased and a little surprised to see how the man's eyes suddenly seemed to get a new light to them. This was the reaction he had wanted.

"Everything. I want to know…" he kept a pause, opened his hands almost majestically, "Everything! Everything you know."

"Oh?" Izaya chuckled and inspected his client. He changed so quickly! "And who's the person you want it from?"

"Shizuo Heiwajima."

Izaya's smirk disappeared and he sighed heavily; again a person who wanted information about Shizu-chan? Izaya could feel how his excitement died down. He frowned a little and looked out of the window across the room. Why was it that everyone wanted to know about Shizuo? Did they not understand he was a monster, a protozoan? And Shizuo was simple to understand if you just watched him for a while. For example: he likes sweets things. But then again he wasn't easy to understand because he always seemed to surprise you in every way. But that hadn't anything to do with this. Izaya started to think if he had to warn or tell his clients about the fact that he did not tell anything about Shizuo, from now on. It was enough if he knew something about him, "I know this might be a little late to say this but unfortunately-"

"I'll pay anything! And if you want I will even do something for you; I'll be your servant for a while; I'll do the dirty work for you! Just give me all you know about him..." The man talked rather loudly, making Izaya a little startled.

"…Why do you want information about him?" And Izaya wondered in his head: " _Why do these humans want the information about him so badly? I understand if they want to write about him but this man is not from a magazine or a newspaper."_

"Because I want to beat him no matter how I do it!" the man snorted and looked at Izaya with a gaze that told him he was serious, "So please tell me everything!"

"No," Izaya replied blankly.

The clients seemed a bit taken aback, "Why?"

Izaya sighed and got up. And here he thought he had an interesting and fun client for once. "I've told this to a few people asking about Shizu-chan already, and I'll tell it again: I'm not giving any information about him to anyone."

"But why? I know about your hate towards him but still…!"

"If that was fully the case then don't you think I'd give his information happily to anyone?" Izaya didn't like the conversation and where it was going anymore.

"Then what is the reas-"

"No one needs to know him better than I do!" Izaya stated and turned himself to look at his client, who looked displeased – this did not surprise Izaya at all. "I'm not trying to be mean or… unprofessional but his information is mine and mine alone."

"…I see… But surely you have a prize for the information…! Everything has a prize!"

Izaya could only snort. How thick in the head was this man? "It has none, sorry. Shizu-chan's information is… it's just as I already said: mine."

"But I want the information! I'll pay! I even get him for you if you wanted! Dead or alive-"

"Yoshimura-san…" the black-haired informant's voice was almost dripping with irritation. Could the man _not see_ the situation? He told him no already, "The information that I have belongs to me. Therefor I will not give any information about anything if I so choose."

"Obsessed!" the man stated and huffed. This took Izaya by surprise.

"Excuse me?"

"You are obsessed with him!" he huffed, "No wonder you won't give any information about him!" The brown-haired man got up as well and gave Izaya a glare, "Getting information about him and then not sharing it with anyone, stalking him – yes I've heard! It was like everyone said! Obsessed!"

Izaya didn't want to listen to it anymore. Something as outrageous as that... "It seems like you have to leave now, Yoshimura-san."

"So this is how you treat your clients?!"

That was the last thing he said before Izaya had enough – more than enough. His movements were quick: taking a few steps forward and taking a small knife from somewhere secret, Izaya soon was in front of his persistent client, holding the knife on his throat, "Yeah, I treat my clients as I want to. After all, they need my help, right? They are dependent on me and my information, aren't they?"

Eyes glaring at Izaya the man looked angry and beaten. He huffed and mumbled, "Fine. Keep your information," and when Izaya let him go he began to head towards the door.

"…" The informant watched the man walk towards the door. He bit his lip slightly and then without really thinking about it, he said after the brunette man: "And I'm not obsessed with him! Because that would mean I care about him some way!"

Izaya heard a very sarcastic snort, "you are obsessed nevertheless." And before Izaya could make him take back those words the man was gone, leaving Izaya feel disturbed and angry.

He walked to his desk and taped a key of his keyboard making the sleeping computer wake up. Izaya noticed someone at the top of the stairs. This person was no other than Namie.

"Were you watching that just now?"

"Can't say I wasn't."

"He was an obsessed person, wasn't he?" As Izaya talked he clicked the camera icon on his desktop. He then opened the cameras that began to load a video.

"Not really… I've seen worst," she kept a pause which made Izaya look at her.

"What is it?"

"But he was right." Izaya waited for her to continue. During these few seconds the cameras began to show the blondes apartment. It was empty. Shizuo must have gone to work already. "You are pretty much obsessed with him."

"Please stop with that, Namie-san! It isn't funny." Izaya gave a smile that told her to shut up. A very common smile between the two.

"Hmph… maybe," and she turned around and went back to his work or so Izaya guessed.

The raven haired man couldn't stop thinking about his ex-client's or his secretary's words. Something as ridiculous as that… "Why is everyone bullying me today? I haven't done anything!" He whined like a child, "I mean even Shizu-chan would say that's ridiculous! It pisses me off!" He groaned and huffed and opened the chat. There were only few people, who were talking about 'normal things', so the irritated informant decided not to chat.

A few seconds passed.

"…Even Shizu-chan knows it's ridiculous...!" Izaya bolted up, took his fur coat and left the apartment without a second thought.

.

Shizuo stared blankly at Izaya. He didn't know how he was supposed to react to that. Know him better than anyone else? The idea sounded ridiculous – yes. And he was certain that if things went down to that Hell would freeze. On the other hand Izaya was Izaya and he wouldn't be surprised if the flea fell in love with a raccoon and married it (just saying: everything was possible if it was Izaya; Shizuo was an optimist on that part).

Shizuo snorted, "Yeah, I guess that's true! After all a flea like you…" he said and then gritted his teeth as he looked back into Izaya's eyes, "a flea like you can't be obsessed with anything else but itself and how it's going to survive!" Shizuo grunted and then charged towards Izaya, his fist raised high above his head, ready to beat the living hell out of the informant.

It just stirred him up so much. To hear Izaya ask him something like that just made him angry – or not angry, irritated. He had no idea why. Because it was, in a way, a normal question. The blonde just somehow hated how Izaya wanted to hear the answer from him. He got confused over thinking like this and being confused made him angry. The rest everyone can deduce themselves.

The punch was expected and so it missed. The ex-bartenders fist met with the wall making a crack appear on it. This made him huff in irritation.

"Shizu-chan… You know, I'm not in the mood for fighting right now plus I have work to finish, so… I'm going to take my leave." And while talking Izaya slowly began to walk backwards still observing Shizuo and his glare that was dedicated to him. Izaya smirked at the thought. Shizuo's attention was fully his, again. It always was, wasn't it? Like this… "But I don't think that will slow you down…" he added as Shizuo smirked and began to walk towards him dangerously. A familiar, pleasurable thrill went down Izaya's spine.

"No, it won't…" And so Shizuo earner a smirk back before the chase began again.

This time Izaya actually tried to get the blonde away from himself using his parkouring skills, alleys and their corners. It took him a while but in the end he did succeed by hiding behind a corner. Shizuo ran past him and like this let Izaya ran to the other direction. He found another alley to hide. Hoping that the protozoan wouldn't find him, he pressed himself against the brick wall.

Izaya tried to calm his breath. He lifted his gaze from the ground to the darkening sky. Clouds were gathering together and soon the sun was behind them too, hiding itself. This made Izaya sigh. He had never been so fond of the rain. The rain made his clothes and hair wet, which wasn't comfortable at all. Though he had to admit that sometimes the rain wasn't so bad, maybe like today?

Izaya's attention was soon captured by a voice in the distance. It sounded like a roar and the more Izaya concentrated on it the more obvious the sound was: Shizuo was roaring his name. This made Izaya chuckle and suddenly he felt very… out of character. The informant frowned, "What is this…?" he mumbled and sighed as he realized was it was. "I'm feeling sentimental?" The dark-haired man almost scoffed. He had almost forgotten this 'other reason' why he didn't like the rain so much… It was too calm for him.

A rain that was just rain: no stormy wind or no trees flying around. The calm felt too unreal to him. Even the people hurried away from the streets inside, usually, which changed the atmosphere on the outside more. The less people there were the less happened. Izaya wasn't interested in that. He liked action. His own apartment was a different thing. It was his home. But the outside world…things were meant to happen there! Calmness wasn't an option. And yet, somehow, it managed to slip and conquer through the rain.  
Would it be like that too with the protozoan? Did he calm down by the rain too? Did the blonde just suddenly calm down from all his rage by the rain – just halt and stop everything?

.

A raindrop hit Shizuo's face suddenly, making him see the suddenly dark sky. "Tch… They didn't say anything about a rain in the news…" he muttered quietly and took a deep breath.

"Hey, Shizuo!" A familiar voice called out. "Don't just run off like that…" It was Tom who, apparently, had tried to catch up to Shizuo.

"Yeah, sorry… But the flea was there…"

"You mean Izaya?" Tom said and took a deep breath. He could still remember how the two of them were sleeping at the park next to each other without a problem on the bench… It was slightly disturbing. Who could have ever guessed that something like that would happen?

"Yeah," the blonde sighed and then took his glasses out of his pocket and put them on, "He interrupted my break, sort of."

"I see... How?" Tom couldn't help but to mentally slap himself from asking a thing like that and tensed when his work partner turned to look at him while raising his eyebrow. Tom didn't blame him. He usually kept distance from the rival/enemy thing all together. But now that he had seen something like _that_ he couldn't help but to feel curious.

"Well… Just asking stupid questions and annoying me…"

It started to rain heavier.

"I see… Well we still have to go to a few people and then head back to the boss. I know it's raining but work is work," Tom couldn't help it but he did feel a little disappointed. He didn't know why – he was happy that the normal setting (Shizuo and Izaya being enemies and fighting) hadn't been broken – but still… Or maybe he wanted it to brake? He would support his partner no matter what choices he might make. Though the thought of Shizuo and Izaya being something else than enemies was something he couldn't find himself able to imagine.

"Rain is nothing though I would like an umbrella," the blonde answered and took a cigarette from his cigar box, "I can't smoke without cover."

"Let's go and get ourselves ones then, huh?" The brown-haired one smiled and got a nod from the blonde. They headed for the nearest shop that had umbrellas.

.

Shizuo was one of the few people on the streets. It was raining heavily now. The air was filled with the light scent of rain and the normal scent of Ikebukuro. The blonde was still wearing his blue sun glasses. Though, they suited him so well that he didn't look silly at all with them on in the heavily pouring rain. He held an umbrella in his right hand, and his left hand was in his pocket. The rain was making Shizuo feel sensitive. Well, not maybe sensitive but… calm. Well, at least he felt calm while walking down the street, heading towards the familiar store not so far away from his apartment.

Shizuo wasn't a person who looked to his feet while walking. He looked forward or then, like he did now, he looked at the sky. Nothing interesting was there down on the street so why would he look down? Shizuo stopped when he arrived to a big crossing. He saw Celty not far away from himself so he walked to her, crossing the street as he did.

"What are you doing here, Celty?"

The woman dressed in black quickly typed to her device, ' _Oh hi Shizuo! I'm sorry about that thing I said earlier…'_ She almost looked awkward even though her facial expression was not seen. _'I had no idea it was Izaya! I really didn't!'_

Shizuo shrugged now remembering her words.

" _Did you… Shizuo did you maybe-"_ He didn't want to think about it. But… just remembering her words and seeing Izaya's calm face… _"Shizuo that's called a crush! You have a crush on that person!"_   Shizuo sighed and frowned, a little angry at himself from bringing the disturbing and ridiculous thought/memory back. "Don't worry about it."

' _So you're not angry? Is it really alright?'_   Celty seemed nervous. Shizuo was happy about this for some reason.

He nodded, "Yeah. I'm not angry or anything. So rest assured."

' _I'm so glad! I felt so bad after it…'_ Celty kept a pause and Shizuo took out a cigarette with his one hand skilfully. _'Can I say something? I don't want to make you… angry or anything. I just feel like I want to tell my opinion to someone. I know you're a bad target or… No – that's not what I mean. I just want to tell you what I think. Would that be alright?'_

Shizuo nodded as he lit his cigarette, "I think it's just fine. Although… what is it about that you wanna tell me?"

' _Well… It's a about Izaya.'_ She then made many hand movements and typed quickly before Shizuo had time to react: _'But let me just make something clear here! I don't' trust him at all, almost. I don't like him, basically.'_

Shizuo gave her a small smile or a grin, "always happy to hear that from someone. Okay, what is it?"

' _I've been thinking… And just don't take this the wrong way!'_ She looked like she took a deep breath and then typed for a moment before showing Shizuo her thoughts: _'Izaya is kind of the only one who tolerates your… strength, correct? And I have been thinking about my friends a lot these days and this thought crossed my mind about you many times and…'_ She typed for a while again, _'Do you think you'll find someone like him? You told me once when we were talking that no one will love you because they're all scared of you... So…do you think you will ever find a person similar to him? A person who's not afraid of you…?'_ Celty tensed up a little when Shizuo looked away from the screen of her device after reading. It was like she regretted what she just told her blonde friend. Shizuo didn't judge her. He wasn't angry at her either.

"… Celty…" he breathed out after taking a smoke but was cut off by the helmet-headed woman, again.

' _I didn't mean to sound rude! For example I'm not so scared of you! I respect you, actually. Though I love Shinra…'_ After writing this Shizuo opened his mouth to say something. Though, he didn't know what to say. All in all his friend's thoughts had made him a bit speechless. _'You can tell me if I went too far!'_ She added and "looked" down.

Shizuo was quiet for a moment. He hadn't known that Celty had thought so much about him. He knew she considered him as a friend but… It made him happy. And because he was happy he let himself smile a little for her, "I'm happy," He admitted with a mumble, making Celty look at him with a flinch.

' _Shizuo…?'_

"It's nothing. I'm just happy you thought about me, sorry. And I'm not mad or angry at you," which was a surprise. He sighed and felt better somehow. "And I don't know… Maybe someday there will be someone for me. Maybe there won't. Either way I think I'll survive."

' _I'm glad.'_ Celty would have probably smiled if she had a head, _'And I'm sure you'll find someone! Maybe that person is around the corner already!'_

"Let's hope that then," Shizuo agreed and began to walk slowly away from his friend. "See you, Celty."

And so the woman drew off thinking to herself: _"I hope Shizuo finds someone special… He earns it."_

.

The blonde groaned once his apartment's door was closed behind him. He was tired and full of thoughts he could have never in his life guessed thinking of. And he was hungry and thirsty too.

First he went to the kitchen to put his groceries away. His groceries consisted of milk, chicken, some vegetables and cigarettes. Then he went to change his clothes and then went to the bathroom before going back to the kitchen, starting to prepare his meal.

The cat was gone. He had taken it to the vet in the morning and had asked them to keep him there for a day or two. The reason behind this was that he wasn't sure if he was able to keep a cat. He wanted the cat but wasn't sure if he had the money for it. Plus it was a street cat… But just thinking about him in the alleys, trying to find something to eat from the garbage bins and getting fleas...

Speaking about fleas: Celty's words were still repeating themselves in Shizuo's mind. "Someone who tolerates my strength…? The flea is someone like that?" the blonde questioned out loud and frowned. Shizuo felt a bit slow or stupid because he kind of only realized it now: that the flea really was someone who wasn't scared of him. At least he thought so. But was it just that he was Izaya so he couldn't be scared of him and his strength? Was the pest even scared of anything? The blonde basically was a monster to normal humans but the flea just always jumped out of nowhere, knowing what Shizuo's reaction would be, and let himself be chased after. There was just something wrong with the flea's brain. That was the only explanation the blonde came up with.

After dinner (chicken, rice and salad) Shizuo went to lie to the couch and opened the TV. He flipped through channels and once he found a channel that had some karate match going on he left it there and sighed heavily.

"Tired..." he mumbled and sighed again. Usually he wasn't this tired mentally. Maybe if he just went to sleep? That would probaby help him. Though those thoughts were soon forgotten because a) Shizuo was too lazy to get up from the couch and b) the match was a good one.

_Izaya was standing on his bed. Shizuo frowned. He asked why he was there. "Waiting for you of course!" was the simple answer the blonde got before the informant jumped off from the bed and walked past him._

_Shizuo turned around only to find himself looking at Izaya cooking. He was in the kitchen. When Shizuo asked what Izaya was cooking the black haired man pointed at the chicken, "what does it look like?" He gave Shizuo a smile though in Shizuo's opinion the smile didn't look like a smile._

_Shizuo sighed and just stared at Izaya while he cooked. He felt tired._

_Soon he was eating chicken. After that he was being massaged by no other than Izaya. Just like normally. "Your shoulders are stiff, Shizu-chan." Shizuo agreed with him. He sighed again, which made Izaya hug him._

Shizuo heard a roar of some kind and opened his eyes. The sound had come from the TV from the karate match. He remembered the dream but it took him awhile to realize it was a dream. And when he did…

"…!" The ex-bartenders face made an expression of confusion and shock. It looked hilarious. "HELL NO," he roared and sat up, "No!" He groaned. "No, no, no!" Shizuo groaned more and got up, "The hell was that?!" He looked around and ruffled his own hair with an almost painful expression, "Celty and her woman talk…!"

.

"I'm back!" was shouted by Izaya once he finally arrived to his apartment. He was feeling very satisfied with himself at the moment because he had stayed at Ikebukuro without Shizuo ever noticing. Of course he had seen the blonde a couple of times but he hadn't seemed to notice him in the shadows. Maybe it had been the rain? Speaking of that bastard…

Izaya's clothes, all of them, were soaking wet. Even now as he walked towards his bedroom he left puddles behind him. Izaya first took off his jacket and threw it somewhere. It made a soft 'splash' noise as it hit the floor. And once Izaya got some clean and dry clothes for himself he went to the bathroom to take a shower.

While he was washing his hair he tried to think anything but people. Because thinking someone while taking a shower is weird. At least this was Izaya's way of thinking. Though he knew that once he had a shirt on and a pair of boxers his brain would take over, starting to plan and imagine events yet to come by his hand. Events like flying "aliens" and (though Izaya hated himself for this) stalking Shizuo. "But it isn't stalking…" the black haired man muttered as he rinsed his hair. But really, it wasn't. He just… tried to get information about him. What was wrong with that?

In the kitchen he took a tea cup and poured hot water in it. It was still raining outside. He took a tea bag then and once he got the bag into the cup he went to open his computer. After this he went to get his tea.

While sitting on his computer chair Izaya clicked open the internet browser. He checked his email that had some new information and news too. Everything was normal. The information wasn't anything big like it normally wasn't when the information was for Shiki. Just time and place for a robbery or a mafia meeting that he usually "party crashed".  
The tea was half drank once Izaya was done with his work. Well, he did have more of it but he wasn't motivated enough to do it. It could wait. He clicked the familiar camera icon and it loaded. Izaya drank his tea while waiting. What was he going to see? Was the cat still there? If not: where was it? Was the protozoan finally going to show the monster inside of him and let Izaya see him in the middle of a chaos? Maybe he had finally noticed the cameras?

"…" Izaya's expression didn't seem to change expect his eyes: they looked disappointed. The brute was sleeping on the couch. "Boring!" the information broker whined, not wanting to believe the monster was asleep already. The clock was not even ten! "He's doing this on purpose! No way is he like this all the time!" Izaya pointed at the screen as he leaned back on his chair. It was a good thing his dear secretary wasn't here anymore. She would have loved to know about Izaya's new little "hobby" (this, Izaya guessed, would have been the name she would call it).

He got up from his chair and drank the rest of his tea while walking to the kitchen. He took a plate with tuna on it and chopsticks and went back to his computer. And oh boy what he saw once he sat down.

Shizuo woke up. He sat up quickly and then with same speed he got up to his feet and said something. Izaya cursed he hadn't the volume on. Why hadn't he thought of it before? Oh yes – he hated Shizuo's voice. Or no, it just irritated him somehow. It was so… low.  
Shizuo seemed to groan. He then took a pillow and threw it across the room. Izaya was surprised. Really? Nothing more? But then after Shizuo seemed to calm down it began. The thing that Izaya had been waiting for began: Shizuo walked around the house and when he arrived back to the living room between his couch and coffee table he lifted his fist with a roar (it looked like it) and broke the table.

Izaya's smirk couldn't get any bigger. "Finally," Finally Shizuo acted like he should act: as a monster. The informant was pleased and even got a tiny wave of pleasure from watching the scene. But then there was a question: why was he so angry?

"Though it doesn't really matter! As long as he's angry…!" And like a magic spell Shizuo calmed down. He took his phone and sent a message (it looked like it) and then looked at the table before sighing. He started to clean. Izaya covered his eyes and leaned back on his chair, "No!" he whined again. Izaya closed the camera for a while. He wasn't so interested to watch the brute clean up. He opened his web browser again.

The informant frowned at the memory of his earlier client: _"You are obsessed with him!"_

Obsessed. Izaya searched the word. This was what he found (more or less):

**Ob·ses·sion**

**1.** Compulsive preoccupation with a fixed idea or an unwanted feeling or emotion, often accompanied by symptoms of anxiety.

**2.** A compulsive, often unreasonable idea or emotion.

Obsessed  
past participle, past tense of _ob·sess_ (Verb)

Preoccupy or fill the mind of (someone) continually, intrusively, and to a troubling extent.

To have the mind excessively preoccupied with a single emotion or topic.

There was a silent before Izaya's laughter filled the apartment.

"Are you kidding me!" he laughed more and he even had to get away from the computer to calm down. Normally people wouldn't laugh like this but Izaya was different (we all know that). Plus his laughter wasn't completely from amusement, "He was an idiot! Yeah, sure I'm obsessed… Why not?" Izaya almost giggled, "I'm always thinking about him, aren't I?" the raven haired informant knew he had an obsession for humans; why wouldn't he have one? But for Shizuo? That was just a big no. "Every passing minute," he chuckled and took a deep breath, "That's the most stupid thing I've ever heard…!" he announced loudly and went to look out of the big window while crossing his arms.

He wasn't obsessed with him. He wasn't obsessed with Shizuo. He just wasn't. All he wanted was information. It was normal since he was an informant. And Shizuo was hard to deal with if you didn't know something about him!

The rain was calming down a bit already but the glass of the window was still taking on the rain drops. Izaya sighed.

"Maybe I'll just go to bed?" he wandered back to his computer and clicked open the cameras again. The clock was just a bit after ten.  
Shizuo was taking his pants off in the bedroom. "Shizu-chan really does go to bed early…" Izaya mumbled to himself as he stared at the blonde a few seconds longer than necessary. He then turned off the computer and went to the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face.

Izaya didn't want to go to bed knowing that he was "following" Shizuo's footsteps. Instead he went to watch some late night TV. It always had the best programmes.

Izaya had all his more-than-ten phones next to him and he was looking them through. You could never know if you got a text or a message from someone. So far the mail box in every one of the phones was empty but there was one phone still waiting: the black phone, Izaya's favourite. Why? Because it had all the best pictures and contacts. Oh! And he had one unread message. Guess from who?

_To: Orihara Izaya_

_From: Heiwajima Shizuo (Shizu-chan 3)_

_I'm going to kill you._

_\- Shizuo H._

_(Sent: 9:43 PM)_

The message was just about 30 minutes old. Meaning…

"Shizu-chan sent me this after… He sent me this after _that_!" After the dream.

Izaya couldn't be more pleased or more disturbed of the idea of Shizuo dreaming about him. Well, Izaya was 99% sure it was a dream about him since Shizuo sent him that message. After all – and Shizuo said it himself too – 99% of everything is always his fault.

"Right, Shizu-chan?"

Izaya couldn't wait until he could go and tease his little monster about this.

.

The streets were busy with people walking around, which was perfect for a certain informant who was watching his little humans secretly from a window. Many groups of friends were talking together, laughing and chatting; having fun. And as much as the informant wanted to put into effect some kind of plan that could make his little puppets run around aimlessly so that he could get some fun too, Izaya had decide to wait patiently for the monster. After all Shizu-chan had promised to kill him today, right? He had sent him a text message too! He had been so honoured about it yesterday. This formed a smirk on his face.

Izaya didn't have to wait for long until he saw a head full of familiar blonde hair walking on a street, heading towards the small park area.

The plan that he had, was on his mind clear as day. His heart beat quickened, the adrenaline slowly made its way through his veins making Izaya more excited. What kind of chase was it going to be this time?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have it! This chapter is long but then again long chapters are fun. At least if they're interesting. (Was this even interesting?) 
> 
> Thank you for reading! ♥


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing.

Shizuo missed his cat at the moment. He had no idea why. He just wanted to see it, that's all. It felt like the cat was somehow Shizuo's responsibility even though it wasn't even his. What was with it? Shizuo let out a deep sigh which made Tom glance at him with a raised brow. Shizuo really wanted to know how the cat was doing. Shizuo also knew he couldn't keep the cat now because he didn't have the time for it or the money. All the supplies would cost way too much for his budget at the moment at least. He had called the vet in the morning and told that he still needed to think things over with it. And there was no "danger" in taking the cat because it turned out the cat really wasn't a street cat after all. He was just a runaway, who no one had looked for. This fact made it only worse for Shizuo. To know the cat was all alone… Shizuo didn't like being alone all that much so just thinking about a cat that couldn't get enough food, people shoving it off from places it "didn't belong"… He had a serious dilemma.  
  
"…Is everything alright, Shizuo? You're sighing more than usually today and it's just a bit past noon," Tom said with a bit concerned voice.  
  
"Huh? Oh, well no… Or yes. But isn't anything serious," the blonde didn't look at his work partner.  
  
"…Alright… Well if you need anything just ask. I can give you some advice too if you need it."  
  
Shizuo gave a mumble in response and they continued walking.  
  
The town had started get ready for the coming Tanabata festival. If you hadn't heard about it an explanation will be in order: Tanabata is a Japanese star festival. It celebrates the meeting of Orihime and Hikoboshi, who are deities both. The legend says that the Milky Way separates these lovers and they are only allowed to meet once a year.  
  
So the festival was beginning to get close as it was the end of July already. This of course meant that the whole town was getting ready for it and talking about it too. For example what to wear, what to do, when to go and where? The air was full of excitement. And because Shizuo enjoyed festivals he was feeling excited as well, though many people couldn't see it. Tom had already asked Shizuo what he was going to do at the festival and of course Shizuo just shrugged and told he was just going to wander around the town and see a little bit of everything. Shizuo and Celty hadn't talked about the festival much but Celty had once or twice told Shizuo how she loved festivals as well even though she couldn't really go to them. She would love to try out a kimono or a yukata.  
  
Speaking of kimonos and yukatas, Tom had also asked Shizuo if he was going to wear a kimono for the Tanabata festival. Even now he had begun to talk about it, in fact.  
  
"So about the kimono… Have you decided yet?"  
  
Shizuo took a cigarette from his cigarette box and a litter, "I have…"  
  
Tom's face seemed like it lit up a little, "and?"  
  
Shizuo lit his cigarette, placed it on his lips and took a smoke, "I'm going to wear a kimono…"  
  
"That's great!"  
  
"Just explain this one thing… Why is it such a big thing? To wear a kimono I mean."  
  
Tom chuckled and put his hand into the pocket of his pants "I just… kinda—" Tom stopped in the middle of the sentence because Shizuo had stopped walking suddenly, "…Shizuo?" And just as he turned around he saw his work partner standing still, a blank expression on his face and Izaya right behind him. This was the moment when Tom slowly backed away.  
  
"You know, Shizu-chan… A kimono would really suit you," Izaya chuckled with a smirk, "at least I want to see you wearing one."  
  
Shizuo's heart skipped a beat. This was something that he didn't take a big note of though. The blonde then turned around, only to meet Izaya's intensive gaze and the informant's body much closer than he had thought. "Flea…!" Shizuo growled like usually.  
  
Izaya smirked more and took a step back from his blond-haired enemy, "Hello Shizu-chan… I got your text last night." The informant even took his phone from his pocket and showed Shizuo the text, "I was so thrilled when I got it! Really, you couldn't make me happier."  
  
"I didn't say 'come here," the blonde almost barked at the smaller man and clenched his fists. Sure, he had sent him the text but he didn't want to see him the next day! It wasn't an invitation, damn it, "Flea!" And now that Shizuo also remembered why he had sent the flea that text he froze for a second.  
  
"Oh I know that… But see, I was just so happy about the text that I figured I'd come and see you." He smiled a little and looked into the brute's eyes. He wanted to ask why he had sent that text in the first place. It had to be his dream that had made him act like that, throwing a punch at a table, right?  
  
Tom looked at the two enemies. He was the only one standing there because everybody else had run away (a wise decision). They still had a lot of people to see and get money from them but here Shizuo was again with Izaya. Tom sighed. Izaya was starting to get on his nerves somehow, too. It wasn't like he was stupid enough to go between the two and drag Shizuo away from the crazy informant but sometimes he really wish he could do just that. "Shizuo, I'm leaving now," he informed his bodyguard who he knew wasn't listening.  
  
Shizuo might have not paid any attention to this but Izaya did. Of course, it was his job to see and hear everything, "Well this is nice… Going to give all your attention to me again even though you have work, Shizu-chan?" Izaya chuckled and shifted a little when Shizuo glared at him more and took a step forward, "I'm kinda moved...Or disgusted. Maybe both?"  
  
That's when Shizuo aimed a couple of punches at Izaya again but missed. He wanted to get back to work but now that Izaya was there his rage got the best of him, "Why don't you go to hell?!"  
  
Izaya couldn't help himself this time either, "because you would miss me if I was gone!"  
  
Shizuo just roared and tried to get a hold of Izaya's arm as he took his blade from his pocket. He missed and Izaya got the change to swing his arm and tried to get a hit on Shizuo with the knife. Of course he failed at his attempt as well and just took a couple of steps away from the raging monster.  
  
"So why did you text me anyway?" Izaya asked still keeping his signature smirk on his face.  
  
"Because I was irritated!" Shizuo spat and gritted his teeth.  
  
"About what?"  
  
"You!"  
  
Izaya chuckled and looked at Shizuo and took a few steps closer. He felt like playing with Shizuo, like with a puppet, like with an animal. "Oh… But you don't usually text me if you're irritated with me… Or do you just think about me so much?" It was going a little bit too far – yes. But at the moment Izaya couldn't care less, honestly.  
  
"Shut up!" Shizuo barked. Izaya was pulling just the right strings to get all his rage out, he knew this, and yet there was nothing he could do about. "Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Shizuo roared and quickly skipped over to a road sign, pulled it off from the ground and swung it at the informant.  
  
.  
  
When Izaya finally found his way back home he was happy. Yes, happy. And the reason or reasons why he was happy were: Shizuo had chased him around for a good while and had seemed to be more aggressive than usual, though this was normal, since Izaya had teased him a lot. The second thing was that he had gotten a few emails from Shiki and some other mafia, much smaller than Shiki's. The smaller one's name was Kuroki. The name was idiotic to Izaya. Now what was so nice about these two mafias? It was the fact that Izaya was going to have a brilliant festival because of them.  
  
"Namie! Could you get me some coffee?" The informant asked while typing away on his computer. Things were suddenly – finally – becoming interesting. Something the black haired man had been waiting for a while already.  
  
Namie soon appeared in front of Izaya's desk, a cup of coffee in her other hand. "You know," she said with an annoyed tone while placing the cup next to Izaya, "I'm not your maiden."  
  
Izaya just smirked a bit and glanced at her quickly, "I also need a few files and information about a small, new found yakuzas named 'Kuroki'. I think their boss's name was… Mit…Michi? Mitchi Kanaki – something like that anyway."  
  
"Kuroki?" Namie frowned. Izaya lifted his eyebrow slightly, "Ah, yeah. What do you need to know about them?"  
  
"Everything… You look like you know about them a little. Care to tell me?"  
  
"It's not much but I know that it's just founded and that it has a lot of money – more than usually anyway." She glanced away from Izaya since the man was paying her more attention than usually, meaning he was really listening to her now. "Kuroki's boss, at least I've heard, is a son of some millionaire who died not a long while ago. I guess they got the money from him. Killed him maybe – though that's just a rumour I heard." She kept a pause and shrugged and began to walk away, "That's all I've heard anyway. And why don't you look information about them yourself?" She asked this with a demanding tone.  
  
"That's because I have more urgent things to do and find out about. You just get me that information now." Izaya got no reply from her, which meant she was going to do just that. Good. Izaya smirked. Finally he was going to have some fun that didn't involve Shizu-chan.  
  
Izaya clicked the text file away that he was writing, which caused his desktop to be revealed. The camera icon waited in the right corner of it and Izaya sighed heavily as he opened the internet and his email. That could wait. Plus the brute wouldn't even be home. He was still at work.  
  
The first thing he had to do was email both of the mafia's that he would accept their tasks. Both of them wanted to know about the festival and its schedule. That part was easy. And not a long time passed since he sent the emails to both of them and they answered with "good" and "so you're up the task?"  
  
Izaya knew everything that was happening in Ikebukuro and Shinjuku. He knew a lot about what was happening in the Tokyo area as well and a little bit about the whole Japan – he was an informant after all. So it wasn't hard for him to guess what both of them wanted. See, during the Tanabata festival people usually forget there's such a thing as 'evil' in the world at all – which every mafia and gang knew. So it wasn't hard to rob a bank or trick money from people during the festival time. In conclusion: Shiki wanted to know what the other mafias were going to do and where and the Kuroki's just wanted to know a good place to get some money. And if they had at least some intelligent among them they were going to ask about other mafias as well. This was when he needed information about the Kuroki mafia; to see if they knew how to think on their own, were they clever enough not to trust an informant like Izaya, did they even know his reputation (which wasn't all bright and clear) and were they going to bluff in case they knew about Izaya and his usual bluffs. If the new-found rich yakuza family was with a boss that was clever (a bit like Shiki) would it be a good idea to help them and switch sides? Work for the new family and get all the power Shiki now had to the new family? Izaya did love the way both of them would probably do anything to get him to their side.  
  
Izaya's devilish smirk never left his lips as he typed away to Shiki.  
  
 _Hello again, Shiki. I'm more than willing to hear more about your "problem". So just tell me what you need me to find out like usually and I get back to it._  
  
Then it was time to write a similar email to the other yakuza family.  
  
 _Nice to meet you, Michi Kanaki. I'm flattered you have heard of me._  
  
 _I am pleased to tell you that I will look into your offer. Just send me the details and everything and we'll see what happens from there. Is this okay with you? If you like to meet me that will do as well. But the most important thing that I need to know now is that what is it that you want me to do and get information about._  
  
 _Thank you for understanding,_  
  
 _\- Izaya Orihara_  
  
Now the only thing that Izaya needed to do was to wait.  
  
.  
  
Shizuo sighed – huffed – while he lazily leaned against the fence of the bridge. He looked down to the motorway where many cars were driving fast from under the bridge or under it. Shizuo sighed again. He had chased Izaya even though he still had work to do. If this happened on a daily basis he was sure he wouldn't get the whole pay check in the end of every week. His phone buzzed in the right pocket of his black pants, signalling he got a message.  
  
It was from Tom, a reply to his earlier; just a couple of minutes ago sent text, 'where are you?'. Tom told him he was heading towards and old factory building that, apparently, was hiding a couple of men that were in huge dept. In other words: "meet me there".  
  
So Shizuo left from the bridge and headed towards the address Tom had given in his text message.  
  
Shizuo wasn't happy how his days had been turning out lately. The flea had been strolling around Ikebukuro more than once a day which mean nothing good. Celty was maybe the only who was even a bit alerted about Izaya's doings, which irritated Shizuo to no end. Izaya never just went somewhere without any bad intentions. Well, mostly anyway. Because he, Shizuo, wasn't an excuse to the flea to come to Ikebukuro, right? Sure, when he went away for a short while he had come and piss Shizuo off, but other than that… There were no "special occasions" with the flea.  
  
When Shizuo finally reached his destination and met Tom, he apologized like usually. Tom wasn't mad at him, like usually. Just a bit tired of Izaya ruining their work every other day. Soon after they went to get all the money the poor men had and then they left the factory. The sun was beginning to set already in the horizon.  
  
"I know this may just… make you irritated," Tom began and rubbed his neck, "but have you noticed that Izaya had been to Ikebukuro more than just once a week?"  
  
Shizuo nodded and took a smoke from his cigarette, "I have. So I'm not the only one who has noticed it… Good."  
  
"…Yeah," Tom swallowed and looked a bit stressed. Should he open his mouth?  
  
"Any idea why?"  
  
"No, not really," The brown haired cursed his immediately stated reply. Shizuo raised an eyebrow. "I mean…" Tom sighed, "I know this is going to sound stupid and you probably punch me for it…" he muttered and Shizuo frowned.  
  
"Tell me anyways. I try not to punch you."  
  
Tom took a deep breath. That didn't help at all. "I just… I have this feeling like Izaya is coming over here just because… Well, because of you."  
  
"Huh? Me?"  
  
"Yeah," Tom bit his lip quickly, "like, he comes here and… you know, pisses you off and then leaves the town. I just don't get it. You sense him so well too so I guess you noticed him doing that, too? It's just… thought; a theory."  
  
"It doesn't sound that far off," meaning Shizuo wouldn't punch him. "He did piss me off whenever he had the change when we were in Raira."  
  
So Tom did have a point there. "And I know this might sound like I know something but I really don't… But maybe Izaya is just bored? Maybe he… well, doesn't have a job going on at the moment."  
  
"…" Shizuo chuckled and then laughed for a few seconds, "Hah! You're probably right. That asshole does get bored easily…" Shizuo smiled a satisfied smile and looked at Tom then, "yeah, that's probably it. Thanks."  
  
Tom smiled back and when they soon parted ways, Tom swung around and frowned as he looked Shizuo's back as he walked away. Why wasn't the blonde annoyed or questioned about the fact that if Izaya was he would take it out on Shizuo. "Sometimes I wish I knew what was going on between them…" was all Tom could mutter as he walked back to the office.  
  
.  
  
Shizuo walked out of the building with a tote bag made for cats. Meaning he was just leaving from the vet's place with his kitten. Yes, his kitten. Shizuo had decided to keep the thing. At least try keeping it. He still was a bit unsure was he able to take care of it.

Because Shizuo was willing to take the cat, the vet had given him coupons that would give him some food for free and a litter box plus some toys. The vet was clearly more than grateful to Shizuo for taking the cat and certainly had grown more interested about him because of it if you know what I mean. Shizuo felt a little bad for her because of certain reasons but was happy he got the coupons. Because owning a pet, no matter what size or species, was not cheap.  
  
So after getting everything he need for the cat from the pet store, he went home and then left the things there with the kitten and left to the convenience store.  
  
While on the sort trip Shizuo wondered what was the festival going to be like. He also wondered about Tom's words about the flea. How come he didn't think of it before? He usually knew what Izaya was thinking – or at least the main part of his thoughts. No way was he ever going to understand the flea completely. He wanted to laugh at the idea.  
Shizuo bought some salad, chips and chocolate. He also got some meat and juice, etc. Just something he could make a dinner from.  
  
Once home he greeted the cat and put everything on place from the cat supplies to his groceries. And once ready putting everything to their rightful places, Shizuo found the kitten sleeping on the sofa. It was small. Really small. Shizuo hoped he wouldn't sit on him by accident.  
  
.  
  
The clock was almost nine. The air was warm, it was summer after all, and many people were still outside walking on the streets with friends. Izaya was as well having a walk but had a destination: the bar/restaurant Bellaora".  
  
Bellaora was a well-known bar/restaurant in Shinjuku. And even though it was well-known many didn't know that it was actually owned by the Kuroki, a yakuza gang. Izaya was heading there for a meeting with said gang. Izaya walked fast since he was in a little hurry. He usually was never late but this time he had somehow managed to stare at Shizuo and his cat playing with some toy for too long (about 20 minutes too long). He wasn't going to be late, no. He just didn't have any time to waste now. Izaya wasn't happy about this.  
  
Once Izaya arrived in front of the bar he was pretty impressed. The whole place looked very good from the outside, which was a very surprising thing for a bar/restaurant that was owned by a gang. The name was written with neon lights, "Bellaora". Izaya couldn't help but wonder why a Japanese yakuza used a European-looking name. He decided not to give it much thought at the moment.

The inside of the bar was another surprise. The whole place was rather clean and had a nice atmosphere. Izaya couldn't help but to smirk a little. He took out his phone and clicked the inbox icon. He opened the message that had the direction to the bar and the introduction to go and sit to the right table. Izaya scrolled to the end of the email:  
  
 _You will find us at a lodge, at a table that has three roses in a vase on the table. Other tables only have one. There are two men in black suits and the third, Kanaki Michi, is wearing a vest. It's impossible to miss the three of them._  
  
And as Izaya looked around and at the different lodges he soon saw a table with three men; two dressed in black suits and the third one in a vest. The vase on the table had three roses in it. Izaya started to walk towards the table with a slight grin on his face. The only thing he was thinking was that his evening would be fun and interesting.  
  
"Good evening gentlemen," Izaya greeted as he stepped in front of the table. All the tree men turned to look at him. The two men in black became alert. This was, until the brunette interrupted their hands that were already ready to take the guns from their pockets.  
  
"Good evening. You must be Izaya Orihara?" The brunette's voice was soft but dangerous.  
  
"I am. And I take it that you are Kanaki-san?"  
  
"I am. Sit down, Orihara-san."  
  
Izaya sat down next to the other nameless body guard to the other side of the table. Izaya reminds himself that he has to focus. This isn't 100 % play at the moment. After a few polite words from both of them and a "would you like something to eat or drink", the leader took a deep breath and looked at the informer.  
  
"Shall I explain my problem?" Izaya noticed that the man was probably enjoying himself just as much as Izaya was, maybe a little less, but still. He was being way too polite for Izaya's tastes. Maybe he was testing his boundaries? That made Izaya snort slightly in amusement.  
  
"Go ahead."  
  
Kanaki drank the last of his drink and then leaned against the table with his elbows before starting to talk, "Actually it's not even a problem. I just want information because it would make my plans work easier. I'm a little lazy." Izaya nodded at this and the man continued, "As you probably know, the Tanabata festival is taking place in a few weeks. The festival draws much attention from the people. And that is perfect because I can carry out my plan then." He kept a pause, thinking what to say next or how to say his next lines, "I am going to try – no, I am going to – rob a bank, burn down a house and trick a few… enemies in one night."  
  
Izaya still had a smirk on his face, "I see… But why do you need my help?"  
  
"I think you know that yourself, Orihara-san: to do all that I need to have some help and some information about people, and so on."  
  
"I think I understand what you're getting at…" Izaya licked his lips and realized then that the leader in front of him had a similar outfit to Shizuo's. "You want a couple of guards to be in the bank in time of the robbery and those guards are "on your side"."  
  
"So you do understand!"  
  
"Of course" A grin formed on Izaya's face. "I understand more than well," his hand moved to his chest, "and I will see if I can help you after we have discussed the details."  
  
It was a successful meeting for everyone that evening.  
  
.  
  
Shizuo never really enjoyed being put up for everyone to see because it made him feel, well, embarrassed. And that was why he especially hated buying clothes while more than one person looking at him but it seemed like he had no other choice at the moment.  
  
Behind Shizuo there were four or five (maybe even six) people looking at him while he was standing in front of the mirror. Actually all these people were women. And they were all staring at him. And Shizuo didn't even know why. All he was doing was trying on a kimono for the coming festival.  
  
"So… is it any good? I really can't tell on my own." Shizuo huffed as he looked at himself from the mirror.  
  
"You look very handsome!"  
  
"Fantastic!"  
  
"You look wonderful in it, Heiwajima-san!"  
  
"It's like it's made for you!"  
  
All of those were the comments from the young women around him. The blonde didn't really know how he was supposed to react to that so he just nodded and muttered, "I see, thank you." He then turned to look at the older woman who was around 70 or 80. She was looking at him as well but not like the other women. Thank God. "So… Is it any good?"  
  
The older woman smiled and nodded, pleased, "Yes. It looks very good on you and the blue really suits you."  
  
"So I should buy it?"  
  
Again there were many 'yes's and squeals about how it was just perfect for him. Still, Shizuo just wanted to hear what the old lady thought (for some reason he already felt close to her. But what can you say? Old ladies have their charm). "You should. And it's not that expensive."  
  
"I see. Then I guess I'll take it."  
  
As Shizuo left the shop many of the women told him to get around again and even tried to give him phone numbers for some modelling business. Modelling? Hah, not for him, thank you.

Shizuo never felt comfortable around many people. Or no – he just didn't like the attention. But if he got some attention there was really nothing he could do about it so he tried his best to always endure it. Not that it worked in most cases because most cases were fights or something similar. The blonde didn't really understand why people would even seek him and challenge him to a fight. He never asked for it.  
  
Shizuo was just about to cross the street when out of nowhere a familiar black motorbike drew in front of him. And before Shizuo could react with a "hi" or anything Celty had shoved her phone in front of her friends face.  
  
'Is it true?!'  
  
Shizuo frowned. "What is?"  
  
'That you have a cat! I heard about it yesterday!' Celty couldn't talk but Shizuo felt that she was very excited about this.  
  
"Ah… Well yes," Shizuo answered, not really understanding what the big deal was. Maybe Celty loved cats? She did have a helmet with the cat ears and all.  
  
Celty squealed, without a sound, 'Is it at your apartment? Can I see it? Oh please tell me you'll show it to me!' And before Shizuo could answer or even blink she continued yet with another question, 'Is it a girl or a boy? What about the name?'  
  
"Celty calm down… And yes, it is – he is – at my apartment. And no he doesn't have a name yet," Shizuo sighed and then glanced at the motorbike that Celty was getting off from. "Actually I thought that I ask people for suggestions. I think I wouldn't be so good with picking up a name."  
  
'Really? I'm happy! I have always wanted to name a cat! Or some pet at least. Can I see him before I give any names? It would be horrible to give a cat a name that doesn't suit it!'  
  
And as Celty went on Shizuo smiled a little. He was lucky to have a friend like Celty. He bet Izaya would just laugh if he was to know about his cat. Though… How did Celty hear about it? "Hey, Celty… From whom did you hear that I have a cat? I haven't told anything about it to anyone… I think."  
  
Celty tilted her head 'Someone saw you coming out of the vet yesterday. And he was at this chat that I am on too.'  
  
Shizuo yawned, "I see…"  
  
'What's in the bag?' Celty asked and seemed to look at the big bag Shizuo had in his right hand.  
  
"Oh this? This is my Kimono for the Tanabata festival. I just bought it."  
  
'A kimono?!' Celty was surprised.  
  
"Yeah. I wouldn't have bought it but our company is in good terms with the shop. Meaning this was pretty cheap."  
  
'So you are coming to the festival? That's good to hear! I love festivals! Oh but I have to go now. Shinra says he has something for me… But can I come and see your cat sometime?'  
  
"Yeah, sure. Just send me a text or something."  
  
'Bye Shizuo—' Celty pulled her device away from Shizuo quickly after writing this and then quickly typed something else entirely, 'By the way, have you heard about the rumour? The one about the new mafia/yakuza?'  
  
"Uh…no. Haven't heard anything. Why?" And what was so important about this new yakuza? Yakuza's had nothing to do with him (unless they wanted to fight him, which happened a lot in the past (damn Izaya)).  
  
'Search for 'Kuroki' from the web. There should be an article about them. Sorry Shizuo, I would tell you more but I gotta go. See you!'  
  
"Alright. I'll do that if you want to. Bye." And Celty was off and soon in the distance among the cars on the street.  
  
.  
  
Shizuo arrived back home somewhere in the afternoon. He's work would start a little later today. Or then he had a day off. Izaya didn't know. He hadn't bothered to check it up today. The informant's eyes followed the blonde on his screen and watched him take all the fabric from the bag. "So you did get yourself a kimono…" Izaya muttered and leaned to his hand while smirking a bit. He couldn't wait until the festival (for many reasons).

Shizuo's cat was sniffing the bag and trying to bite it while Shizuo told him not to and soon lifted it of the bed to the floor. The brute then put all the clothes to the closet and yawned, said something to the cat and left to the kitchen. He put some food for the cat there and then went to get his vacuum cleaner. This is was boring, so Izaya decided to get some tea for himself and maybe go watch TV.

He has been watching Shizuo a lot lately. And thinking, too: he had tried to find a way to get the monster mixed with the Kurokis and surprise he found away. Izaya took a sip from his tea while turning the TV on.  
  
He wanted to see him. He wanted to tease him, soon. Izaya didn't like this feeling. Sure, he knew the feeling when he wanted something but this was Shizuo. The informant opened is phone just in time to get a new message. It was from Shiki.

As Izaya read it a familiar anime started to air. It was the one about the two boys. One of them was Nezumi and the other one Shion. At least Izaya thought so. Not feeling like watching the show the raven decided to go back to his computer. Maybe Shizuo was doing something else than cleaning. And he was.  
  
Just as Izaya sat down to his chair and opened his web browser and the chat, he opened the window of his cameras. And what a sight it was: Shizuo was playing with the cat in the living room with some toy mouse. The blonde had an amused smile on his face. Izaya could do nothing but stare at the brute's face and the smile with a little blush forming on to his cheeks.  
  
"I didn't know you could smile like that…"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was a lazy edit so I think there's many mistakes there; sorry. I'm just tired but I wanted to add this chapter. So, here it is! Thank you for reading~ ♥


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing.

Shizuo opened his phone and went to the photos and selected a picture of his cat. He then showed it to Celty who looked like she was about to burst from joy – well, at least Shizuo guessed she was because she had her hands together and was moving like a worm. "It's not a good picture but I hope that it's okay."

Celty seemed to nod _'He really is cute, isn't he! Do you have a name for it yet?'_

"I haven't thought of one yet…"

' _So I can still suggest some?'_

"Go ahead," Shizuo chuckled a bit and lit one of his cigarettes. Just thinking about the cat alone in his apartment made Shizuo want to go home already. Not because he missed it – no. He just didn't want to find the bastard in his garbage bag, eating everything he could again – including the damn bag.

' _I think something short would be nice. Something like…. Sora, Shion, Taro or… Sato?'_

"You really have thought about this, haven't you?" Shizuo smiled a little. "But thanks. I appreciate it. Which one is your favourite?" Shizuo watched a car drive fast past them.

' _Maybe… Shion or Taro? I think I like Shion the most but that's probably because it's a name of an anime character…'_

"…You want me to name my cat by an anime character?"

' _No! I just think that he's a bit like a cat, that all!'_

"Celty…"

' _I know! But your cat is a bit like the character… At least his fur has a lot of white to it.'_

The blonde looked at his friend for a moment. He took a few drags from his cigarette and blew out a big cloud of smoke to the air. "It's decided then."

'… _?'_

"The cat's name. I'll name it Shion. Was it Shion?"

' _Yes! It was…!'_ Celty didn't do anything for a while but soon began to type again. _'Shion… It's a good name! Thanks for letting me pick it. It's the first time that I named something! I'm happy.'_

"I'm just happy I don't need to think about it anymore."

' _By the way Shizuo… did you search anything about the Kurokis yet?'_

"Uh… No. I haven't had the time. Why do you even want me to search something about them? It's not like I actually give a crap."

Celty shook her 'head', _'It's just that there's a rumour. Kind of.'_

"Care to tell me more?"

' _When does your break end?'_

Shizuo glanced at the clock that was in the top of the screen of Celty's device. "In about 15 minutes."

' _Then we have time. Okay, I'll tell you._

_The Kurokis are a yakuza/mafia gang. I don't know their boss' name or actually I'm not sure of it but I've heard that he wants to cause some…. big event during the festival. It's just a rumour but I'm still a little scared.'_

Shizuo let the cigarette drop to the ground and he stepped on it lightly, putting it out. "Why would you be scared of something like that?"

' _I don't know… I just got a bad feeling.'_

"Let me guess," Shizuo sighed deeply, "these yakuza guys want to do something big during the festival. To do that they need to know what happens everywhere. In other words they need information; they need an information dealer."

' _Exactly. Which means they will probably ask for-'_

"Izaya," Shizuo growled and just saying the bastards name made his blood boil from anger. "I knew there was a reason behind his 'absence'! Damn flea!"

Celty looked around the street to see if anyone was looking at them. She didn't want to draw any unnecessary attention. At least when Shizuo was began to get angry like this. _'Absence? What do you mean, Shizuo?'_

"I mean that the bastard hasn't been here in a while. Not that I want him here. I mean that about a week ago he was here, in Ikebukuro, pestering me almost every day! You don't even know what kind of pest he was during that time…!" Shizuo had to grit his teeth. Just remembering the time when he woke up and saw the flea sleeping next to him made him want to throw a street sign at somebody. Or the many times when he just came to annoy him during his work – again. And it was all because the bastard was bored! But what he really couldn't stand was the _feeling_ he got from the memories: the frustration. "Damn it!" He cursed, loudly.

' _Alright! I guess he must be working with them then.'_ Celty felt uneasy from that information. _'At least that's my guess. But we don't know for sure.'_

Shizuo huffed, "I guess you're right. But if something happens and I find out it's the flea behind it…!"

' _And I won't stop you. But let's not think about that anymore! I still haven't asked how things are going with the cat.'_ Celty added, _'I mean Shion.'_

"Well, I guess. But he is a pain in the ass most of the time," Shizuo mumbled the rest, "I guess that's just because I'm not home enough… He keeps making messes around the house and everything. The vet warned me about it but I can't just stop working."

' _Well he is still young and everything. How old is he anyway?'_

"About year and a half. At least that's what the vet was guessing."

' _That's young! You know…'_ Celty typed and then seemed to hesitate a little, _'If you want me to baby sit him for you it's not a problem. Because if it's lonely and originally a stray cat, some company would do well for it.'_ And as always she quickly added, _'I understand if you don't like the idea I just…'_

"I think it's a great idea," the blonde answered before he even read the end of the sentence. "But Tom's there so I'll leave now."

' _Huh? Oh, okay!'_ A little confused Celty didn't know what else to say.

"I'll bring him to you tomorrow at twelve. Is that okay?" Shizuo was already walking away from Celty and to Tom while speaking. "Great. See you and thank you Celty!" And with that and a wave of his hand Shizuo walked away from a very confused but happy Celty.

.

The truth was that Shizuo was lonely. Not that he dwelled in it all his days but he did feel it from time to time. Like when he was going home after work with a bag of groceries. This was just because he saw how couples or mother and her children had huge bags of food with them when he only had a little bag with food for one in it. To experience something like that every day makes you feel lonely – there's no stopping it.

So when he got the cat, or rather found it in his apartment, that one evening Shizuo felt more than happy. But that happiness didn't last long after Celty had talked to him. " _Do you think you will ever find a person similar to him? A person who's not afraid of you…?"_ And the blonde's answer to that was with a 99% certainty: no.

Shizuo pushed those thoughts off from his mind with a sigh and opened the door of his apartment.

"I really need to stop thinking like that… It's bad."

"Meow!"

Shizuo smiled a little and when he began to take off his shoes the cat watched him. "You have a name now, did you know that? Celty picked it up. It's Shion." The cat just yawned and when Shizuo got up Shion just licked his paw. Shizuo smiled and snorted, "I knew you wouldn't care." After that he frowned a little and sniffed the air a bit. _"That's a weird smell…Maybe it's just the cat?"_

After all the groceries were out of the bag Shizuo went to change his clothes. And once in comfortable clothing Shizuo discovered that his white collar shirt that he had worn just today was full of cat fur. "Hey, you…" Shizuo glanced at the cat that was cleaning himself, "Do you find this funny?" And with another deep sigh the cloth was in the laundry basket.

Shizuo didn't feel all that hungry so he decided to eat instant ramen or noodles, whichever he had in his cupboard. And after finding some noodles he took out a cup and put some water boiling.

"I'm surprised you haven't done any big changes in here today. Were you sleepy? – Oh yeah, you need food too."

The cat watched Shizuo take his plate from the floor and began to make noises. Very many 'meows' were heard in that couple of minutes. Soon the blonde had gotten the food out of the tiny bag and on to the plate and placed it to the ground where the cat's eating place was and gave the cat a small pet, " _Bon Appétit_."

The evening went past quickly. Shizuo played with the cat after he had eaten and then watched some TV while trying to ignore the oddly-familiar scent that lingered the air in the apartment.

On his way to the bathroom Shizuo turned off the lights from his small kitchen and living room. And after the lights were only on in his bedroom he went to wash his teeth and face.

While Shizuo was brushing his teeth he looked at his reflection. There was nothing particularly scary or strange about him; he had normal hair (expect that it was dyed), normal brown eyes and a rather nice face. It was just his strength and reputation that made him like he was now: a lonely wolf. A lonely, scary wolf.

"I'm starting to think weird things again. Damn it," He mumbled while still brushing his teeth with his red toothbrush.

The clock was almost twelve when he got to bed. And it wasn't until he had laid on his bed for a couple of minutes that it hit him: "The flea!" Shizuo sat up a bit too quickly while almost roaring the nick name. "Why does my apartment smell like him?!" He turned his head towards the cat that was sleeping on the bed near his feet. And while scooting closer that he could get the cat he mumbled with a frown "or could it be…"

First Shion tried to jump off the bed but his owner was faster. Lifting the cat so that he could smell him Shizuo mumbled something like "I can't believe I'm doing this" under his breath and then smelled poor Shion.

The blonde was soon lying on his bed again on his back while staring at the ceiling. He soon sighed, again, closing his eyes. "I must be tired…" Shizuo turned himself and yawned, "The cat can't smell of Izaya… Or the apartment can't smell of the cat that smells like the flea…"

If only Shizuo knew.

.

Pushing the door open and stepping outside of Bellaora with an envelope in hand, Izaya still couldn't believe he had almost been late from the meeting. And it was all because of his stupid decision and the damn comfortable bed.

Izaya sighed heavily and peeked inside the envelope and made sure there were two papers. One was the original paper and the other was a copy. He wasn't really in the mood for any meetings at all but he still had to see Shiki. But that was just a quick hello and he was supposed to get a ride home so he tried to deal with it.

Walking along the still-busy street of Shinjuku Izaya tried not to remember his day. It had all started easily but along the road something just went wrong on so many levels. Half of it was because of himself and half because of other people, other people being Celty (and Shizuo, kind of).

Izaya had wanted to install microphones to Shizuo's apartment so he could hear what the brute was saying, because sometimes it was a bit irritating not to hear anything. Like when he broke his coffee table and shouted something. So Izaya had decided to install the microphones. It was easy and didn't take long. The microphones were small too so the monster wouldn't even notice them. Izaya was pretty proud of his equipment.

The first distraction had bee Celty. Izaya had just arrived to Ikebukuro and was walking along the road that was not far from Shizuo's apartment when the black rider noticed him. She rode next to him silently as always and asked if she could have a minute. Izaya was in no hurry so why not?

And then Celty asked a weird question. Actually she asked a couple of them: _'Why have you been so much in Ikebukuro lately?_ ' Izaya decided to tell the truth and said he had been killing time by pissing off Shizuo. _'But then you suddenly stopped. Why?'_

Izaya had chuckled a little and lifted his hands to the air, "Did I do something for you to ask all these questions? Or are you a police nowadays?"

' _I'm just curious.'_

"Well if it bothers you that much I can tell you that I stopped because of work. Does that help?"

' _Sure. Does that work have any part with the Kurokis?'_ Izaya had chuckled. He had then told Celty that maybe and maybe not. He couldn't tell her. Celty would have probably sighed if she had had a head. Then she typed again. _'This has nothing to do with that anymore but I've been wondering…'_

"Yes?"

' _Are you scared of Shizuo?'_

Izaya had laughed, "Why would I be? Shizu-chan might be a monster but I'm smarter than him."

' _And that means?'_

"Why are you asking all these questions suddenly? It just means that whatever Shizu-chan does I am one step ahead of him, it's simple. Plus: his just Shizu-chan."

' _What does that even mean… ?'_

"Tell me something first: are you afraid of him, Celty?"

Celty had hesitated for a while but had nodded _'Not as much as everybody else but I am.'_

"I see."

Soon after this Izaya had continued to walk to the brute's apartment because he had a schedule. He had had a little over three hours before he had supposed to be at Bellaora with all the information.

It hadn't taken a long time to reach the building. Once he had gotten inside the informant had been greeted with a loud "meow". The raven had been pleasantly surprised by this and had petted the cat for a short while. After this he had begun to install all the microphones while the cat looked at him in wonder and caution. The first one was placed next to the camera in the hallway; the second was in the kitchen near the camera in there as well; the third and the fourth microphone were in the living room; one in the book shelf and the other on top of the TV but still so that it was hidden. The last two were in the bedroom: one next to the camera and the other attached to the leg of the bed that was next to the wall. And once Izaya had checked they were all working he had changed the batteries in the cameras so that they could go on for two weeks or so. He had sat on the bed and petted the cat that was sleeping on the bed. This was when he did his major mistake and even Izaya didn't know why he had chosen to do this.

The bed had looked inviting. It was messily made and comfortable under him where he sat. And because Izaya knew Shizuo could probably smell him anyway he decided to tease him and take a risk: he got up from the bed, walked next to the other side of the bed and let himself fall on it. And Izaya had to say that he didn't regret it. But he regretted the fact that he had fallen asleep. Why had he let himself fall asleep? Because he had felt so comfortable on the bed plus the cat had come next to him. And there was that other thing too…

Groaning, Izaya walked across the street and saw a familiar big black car. A few men in suits were standing not far away from it. Izaya walked to the car and the door was opened. Soon after Izaya had sat down the door was closed behind him and the car began to move.

"So… how did it go?" Shiki asked from the other side of the seat.

"I have the information about what they would like to do or accomplish, as they like to call it." Izaya took both of the papers out of the envelope and gave the other one to the older man. "And here's your copy."

"Thank you."

Izaya leaned back in his seat and looked out of the window for a second. The thought of Shizuo's bed forced its way into his mind and soon he couldn't think anything else. Izaya thought it was more than weird to think of someone's bed just because it was comfortable but the real problem wasn't really the bed but it's _smell_ ; scent. It smelled like Shizuo. The damn bed smelled like the brute and the worst thing? It made the bed even more comfortable. Hell, Izaya didn't even know Shizuo could smell _good_ and somehow _comforting_. And it was more than just uncomfortable to Izaya to think like this. It wasn't natural.

It didn't take long for the car to reach Izaya's apartment building and the raven to get out and go to his apartment. He had that feeling again – that he didn't want to do anything and he couldn't stand it. But Izaya was a bit dominated by this feeling and found himself sitting on his couch with a cup of tea in his hand and the TV open.

Izaya recognized the show. It had those two boys Shion and Nezumi in it. Izaya had watched only about one or two episodes of the anime and could clearly see that there was (or at least it was hinted as) romance between the two boys. Izaya found this a bit amusing for some reason.

The informant switched the channel a couple of times but nothing interested was on. So he turned back to the weird anime which name was No. 6 apparently and took a sip of his tea. And just as he had taken that sip the two boys kissed and Izaya froze. Not from shock but from confusion.

"…What just happened?" He murmured and sighed as he placed the tea cup on to the table. Nothing special happened after the kiss and Izaya just let it go. The anime was as weird as weird could be so there was no use thinking or "analysing" it. Izaya took a better position on the couch and continued to watch while not trying to fall asleep.

_Opening his eyes Izaya saw Shizuo lying next to him. Shizuo's bed was warm and comfortable under them. Izaya took a better position and yawned. This made Shizuo smile at him._

_Shizuo sat across from him suddenly and showed him a similar device to Celty's that read:_ 'I gotta go now.'

" _Why?"_

'Can you take care of the cat for me?' _And even though Izaya had to read this he heard Shizuo speak to him through his headphones. He was now sitting on Shizuo's bed and looking at his computer screen where he could see the cat sleeping on the couch._

_Izaya told Shizuo he didn't want him to leave him. He just got there. It was wrong of Shizuo to leave so soon. So, Izaya made time go backwards, or then it was just him remembering it; he was lying with Shizuo on Shizuo's bed again while the blonde was smiling at him. Izaya scooted closer to him so he wouldn't leave him. And Shizuo didn't. "It feels comfortable, doesn't it?" The blonde asked while still smiling a little bit. Izaya wasn't sure what Shizuo meant by this question but he figured it was probably about the bed._

" _It is," was his lazy response with a lazy nod. Izaya tried to get up to see what the clock was but he couldn't move. This was probably because Shizuo had his arm around him._

_Again Shizuo was leaving and Izaya told him not to go. He had no intentions of letting him go. Soon he was lying beside Shizuo, the blonde's arm over him so he couldn't move, again, but for some reason it didn't bother him at all. In fact he enjoyed it very much. It kind of made him feel safe. But then Izaya moved and he felt like he was falling._

Izaya jolted as his legs hit the ground. His upper body followed but not so quickly; he kind of slided to the ground.

"…What…?" Izaya mumbled. When had he fallen asleep? He then remembered the beginning of his dream but decided to get up first and then remember more. The raven saw that his TV was still on and was now showing some weird comedy show.

After Izaya had woken up a bit more he yawned and then sighed. He remembered the dream a little bit too vividly and with too many details. He groaned and took the remote. He changed the channel and saw that the clock was half ten in the evening, "thank god it's not more than that… how long did I even sleep…?"

Turning the TV off and getting up from the couch Izaya began to go through the dream. Why had he seen a dream like that? What was wrong with him? Or was it simply his day? Izaya hoped so and it probably was just because of his strange day. Shizuo had the same device as Celty or something similar to it so that was because he had talked with her. Why he had been in Shizuo's apartment and on his bed was probably because of his stupid "experiment". Izaya swore that he would never do anything like that again at least if it lead to weird dreams like that.

While Izaya was brushing his teeth and looking at himself through the mirror (after changing into his pyjamas) he decided that all of the short naps (and dreams) today were because of too little sleep. So: if he began to go to sleep sooner or had more sleep all in all during the night he wouldn't see weird dream _or_ fall asleep everywhere. That sounded logical, didn't it?

When Izaya finally got to bed he couldn't get any sleep. He was tired but somehow his bed felt cold and uninviting. He sighed and noticed how the memories of his earlier dream about Shizuo began to reply in his mind. Izaya tried to think of his work and his ideas, plans and schemes for the yakuzas but nothing of them really helped. Because every time he tried to think about some idea or plan the dream filled his mind.

Izaya gave up after a while. He was too tired to fight back his thoughts. So Izaya soon fell asleep while dreaming about Shizuo and his arm that was comfortably around him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, dreams and beds are wonderful, aren't they? ♥


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing.

In the beginning it had only been for research. Izaya had been curious. And maybe that had been his problem: he had been, and was still, _too_ curious. About what? About the monster; about the brute; about Shizuo Heiwajima.

Questions like "why and how did Shizuo have friends?", "why can they trust him so much?" and "was Shizuo a human after all based on all that?" were the ones that Izaya wanted answers to. Izaya had just wanted answers for research. Of course he wanted the information mostly because he was personally interested about the whole thing. Shizuo was something utterly special. And yes, he wanted to keep every piece of information to himself. But it was never supposed to turn into a "hobby – a _personal_ hobby.

Sighing, the informant leaned back on his computer chair and stared at the white ceiling. It wasn't like he couldn't stop watching the blonde through his cameras. He just didn't want to stop. Watching Shizuo was something that never bored him. You see, humans, their actions and thoughts were easy to predict. And as much as Izaya loved humans he got bored of them easily if something big wasn't going on. The brute's actions, however, weren't easy to predict at all. Not when Izaya wasn't in the same space where Shizuo was at least (because when fighting Shizuo wasn't really thinking).

You see, every time the cat, for example, did something bad like dropping something off from the table or making a mess in the bedroom or bathroom by missing his litter box, Shizuo didn't get angry. He wasn't happy about these things but he didn't get angry.

Shion, as Izaya later on learned to be the cat's name (which was a bit disturbing for him), did these things many times. At least two coffee mugs that still had Shizuo's morning coffee in it were pushed down to the floor from the table by the cat. Or when Shizuo had made his usual breakfast (toast and a fried egg) and left the kitchen for a couple of minutes Shion had gone and eaten the egg from the bread. And still Shizuo hadn't gotten angry at him. Not once had he yelled at it or even glared at it with a death glare – a normal glare yes but never a death glare. Not once had the blonde ex-bartender ripped the fridge off from its place and thrown it through a window or a wall. He did everything differently that Izaya guessed him to do, those guesses usually being that Shizuo would probably kill the cat or destroy the apartment. And in addition to this Shizuo seemed like he really liked and cared for the cat. Izaya somehow couldn't understand it. How could Shizuo smile and pet the cat so… so _lovingly?_

So watching the blonde monster was very addicting for him. It was so much different from watching humans. Humans were predictable. Shizuo wasn't.

So the question with Shizuo was now: was he a human after all? Was some part of him human? And Izaya's answer or hypothesis was that no, Shizuo was not human. Because even a human would get angry if a cat did something like push a cup of coffee from the table. But why didn't Shizuo get angry? What was it that held him back from roaring his anger out but staying calm? Izaya didn't have a clue. And because he wanted to know the reason to all of his questions he couldn't stop watching Shizuo. He couldn't stop watching something as interesting as Shizuo.

Izaya would never admit this to anyone of course. Not even to himself. And he never would admit that as soon as he knew Shizuo was home from work he would stop almost everything he was doing and just start to watch Shizuo. Even the fact that the blonde was actually a pretty good cook was a surprise for him because for some reason the information broker had always had a mental image of Shizuo eating his meat raw.

Izaya was supposed to get information about the work shifts of the guards at the banks around 6 PM and 12 PM at the night of the festival – that was tomorrow by the way. But the information was easy to get so Izaya didn't worry about it.

"Why aren't you doing anything?" Namie asked as she walked to Izaya's desk with her normal grumpy look.

"I just don't feel like working."

"And why is that?" She sighed and crossed her arms, "You have been a bit off during this whole week. Should I get worried?" His words were soaked in sarcasm which made Izaya snort. "You should have all the information by now."

"I'm glad you're worried about me Namie," Izaya answered with a small smirk. He closed his eyes then, "but you really don't have to. It's none of your concern."

"Oh? But you do have some problem?"

"What is it to you?"

The secretary smirked, "it just makes me happy to know you have something to worry about."

Izaya chuckled and opened his eyes while taking a better position on his chair.

"What is it about?"

Izaya's eyes narrowed slightly, "I told you Namie-san that you don't have to worry about it. It's has nothing to do with you." Izaya had a dangerous tone in his voice and he was hoping that that would stop the woman from asking more. She was a great secretary but when it came to things like this she just couldn't keep her mouth shut.

"It has nothing to do with me?" She asked with an acted startled voice and a weird look.

"Yes. _Nothing._ "

Namie smirked almost like the devil and Izaya knew she knew just what to say next. "So it's about your Shizu-chan then?"

Izaya was on the edge that day already and he hadn't needed that. Maybe if Namie had said just 'Shizuo' or 'the Heiwajima' Izaya wouldn't have snapped. But Namie had said just the wrong words that seemed to irritate him more than was healthy. "Namie-san," Izaya began and before the woman even noticed that Izaya moved she had two holes in the sleeve of her shirt. "I said it was none of your business. And Shizu-chan isn't _mine._ " The black haired informant had one blade in his hand and was looking at it.

"Show-off…" Namie wasn't all that startled of this. Maybe she had even wished for Izaya to act that way. She only glanced at her broken sleeve and tried not to grin. "I see. Why won't you give me his information then? Or tell me something useful about him?"

"How about this instead: I don't give you any money what-so-ever and also give all your information to the police – oh, and let's not forget: I'll tell your brother all your schemes against his loved one? How does that sound?" Izaya tried his best not to glare at Namie. And when the woman only gave him a deep glare that said 'you wouldn't dare', the information broker just snorted and waved his hand, motioning his secretary to leave, "I thoughts so."

Namie left while mumbling something under her breath. And because Izaya was in a very bad mood now he asked, "Excuse me but would you like to say that out loud so I could hear it too? It's impolite to mumble, Namie-san."

She scoffed and glanced at Izaya over her shoulder, "I said: you must really be obsessed with him and that I wouldn't get those blades off from the wall." And with that she walked away rather quickly, not wanting to speak to the maniac anymore.

Izaya sighed heavily and turned back to his computer and stared at the screen for a while. Sometimes he wished he hadn't chosen that woman to be his secretary. But she was familiar with sorting files etc. and she needed money, badly, so she was pretty easily controlled. All that was bad about was, well, her whole personality and the way she talked at him – and also the way she talked about Shizuo with him. Izaya couldn't stand it.

Getting up from his seat soon Izaya walked to the kitchen and took some tea. After that he continued his work a bit unwillingly.

The clock was almost five when Izaya decided to take a break. He had gotten all the information needed and he just needed to send the information to his clients.  
Taking a cup of coffee this time Izaya decided to read some news and visit the chat room. It was pretty interesting to compare all the new and old rumours to the news that were written. Usually the news were never even close to the truth and the rumours were usually right though maybe they sometimes had some dramatic twitch in them. Still, Izaya enjoyed them.

As Izaya scrolled up and down pages, clicking links, he saw many ads. One of these usually boring and even stupid ads had a cat in it. This caught Izaya's eye and quickly he was thinking about Shion, Shizuo's cat. The name was still weird but Izaya guessed it wasn't Shizuo who named it. Maybe Celty? Still, the cat in the advertisement reminded him of Shizuo's cat. Izaya thought for a while and then decided to click the window away and click the camera icon on his screen. Shizuo wasn't home yet, he would come home in one or two hours, but Izaya just wanted to see the cat this time. So he waited the camera to load and soon Shizuo's home was on the screen. And Shizuo as well.

Izaya frowned a little in confusion and looked at the blonde for a moment. He was playing with the cat on the floor near the TV in the living room. The other thing Izaya noticed was that there was no food for the cat or even the small food cups, only water. There were no other toys than the one Shizuo was playing with. Near the door there were three bags of something and they weren't garbage bags. The cat's litter box was in one of them.

Izaya didn't know what to think of it all at first. Then he looked at Shizuo and saw the cat's tote bag near the door.

Shizuo wasn't smiling, actually he looked sad. Was he taking the cat away? Was it sick? Was it going to the vet and never going to come back? Or was Shizuo just going to give it away? _Usually_ Izaya wouldn't be interested about things like these. But right now he felt small panic starting to rise in him and he didn't know why.

Shizuo petted the cat while it was lying on its side and playing with a toy mouse. Izaya saw Shizuo talking and a small murmuring voice came out of Izaya's speakers. He frowned and turned up the volume. He was careful not to turn the volume up too much because he didn't want Namie to hear. She was in another room though so it was okay. So, turning the volume up Izaya almost stopped breathing so he could hear what the brute was saying.

" _I must be a terrible owner."_ Was the first thing Shizuo said rather silently, _"g_ _iving you away like this…"_

"So he is giving it away!" Izaya mumbled to himself.

Shizuo took the toy mouse from the cat then and kept it above the cat just so it couldn't get it from him. The scene would have been cute if Shizuo hadn't had that sad look on his face. Shizuo gave a low, sad chuckle, _"I'm such a coward, aren't I?"_

Izaya frowned more at this and stared at Shizuo through the screen with a puzzled look. Shizu-chan a coward? In what way? But finally the two of them had something in common; though Izaya was sure they had different reasons to be cowards.

" _Alright… We have to go Shion."_ And with that Shizuo got up, lifted Shion into his arms and walked to the tote bag.

Izaya couldn't watch anymore after that because his curiosity took over. The informant quickly shut off his computer and almost ran to his jacket and out of the door. He did inform Namie that something urgent came up so he had to leave. He didn't say anything else just ran out of the door and left for Ikebukuro.

.

It wasn't like Shizuo wanted to give Shion away. It was just that he didn't have any other choice. He simply didn't want the cat suffer from loneliness or anything like that. And during the week, when the cat had been over at Celty's and Shinra's (while Shizuo was at work), had proven that the cat would have a better life if he didn't live with Shizuo. His working hours were pretty unstable and Shizuo had discovered that all the supplies for the cat were pretty expensive.

Shizuo had grown to care for the cat a bit too much – he loved it already in fact. Not that it had been difficult to fall in love with it. Maybe it was because no one or nothing ever stayed with him so long. And it was a miracle that Shizuo hadn't gotten angry at him. Even after breaking Shizuo's favourite coffee cup _and_ his favourite tea cup Shizuo hadn't hurt the cat or anything. It had been, in short, the best time of Shizuo's life.

Shizuo left his apartment with the cat and a couple of bags that had Shion's things in them.

It had been a while since Shizuo felt this sad. It was like he was going to lose something very, very important to him. – Hell, it was just like that. The cat was very important to Shizuo. Because with the cat around Shizuo hadn't felt so lonely. It made him a bit amused. Other people had a girlfriend, a boyfriend, a husband or a wife. Shizuo had a cat.  
And there was the fact that Shion wasn't afraid of him, at all. And it was rare for Shizuo to know an animal or a person that wasn't afraid of him. The only people that Shizuo knew who weren't afraid of him were his brother Kasuka, who had only said "not really" when Shizuo had asked him if he was afraid of him, and the other was Izaya. Shizuo's friends or close people weren't that afraid of him but it was still there and Shizuo knew it. It may not show as screaming or something similar but usually as respect (Celty for example), silence or curiosity (like with Shinra), when he threw a car or a vending machine across the city.

Shizuo's strength was Shizuo's weakness on many levels. And as said he had only two people in the world that weren't afraid of him: his brother who he loved deeply and the flea who he hated the most in the whole world. Why Shizuo loved his brother so much was because he was his brother and that he wasn't afraid of him. With Izaya… it was different and more complex thing altogether. At least Shizuo had come to that conclusion over the years.

When Shizuo had first met Izaya he hadn't liked him. It was simple as that. He hadn't known why but he hadn't liked him at all. Maybe it was because the bastard reeked of schemes and he always wore the same stupid smirk that just shouted 'try me'. At first it had been like that, the first years of hatred just being full of no reason to hate the other but a nasty feeling. Then the reasons for Shizuo were just because the flea always made his life everything but peaceful. And that reason was still there, but only as part of the main "problem". You see, when Shizuo found something or someone who wasn't afraid of him – something or someone that could just come up to him, do or say what they wanted to – Shizuo would start to care for that person and eventually, love.

Maybe that was what Shizuo was always afraid of and why he kept distance from people. And just a couple of friends were enough for him. Kasuka was his brother and he loved him automatically. Izaya on the other hand…

Shizuo walked to the park and stopped by a bench. He put all the things down including the cat in its box. Taking a cigarette and lighting it Shizuo let himself calm down a little. He had no idea why he was thinking stuff like that anyway. It made feel like a teenager. Damn feelings.

Shizuo's hatred for Izaya was a way to avoid something terrible from happening. You see, Shizuo was sure it would be highly possible for him to fall in love with Izaya because the flea wasn't afraid of him. Actually Shizuo was sure that if Izaya looked him straight into his eyes and said, "I'm not afraid of you", Shizuo would probably fall in love. This was something that Shizuo wanted to avoid at all cost and that's why he continued to hate Izaya so much. Also the bastard was annoying and Shizuo had a bad feeling about him.

Shizuo frowned as he took the last drag of his cigarette. When did he start to think about these things and why? "Damn cat…" he was so weak sometimes about these kinds of things that it was funny. Shizuo continued his walk to Celty's house. All that Shizuo hoped was that Celty wasn't doing this out of pity but because she wanted to. Though Shizuo was pretty sure it was because she was attached to the cat so much. Like himself.

.

Shizuo didn't know it but there was someone watching him from afar, and that someone was of course Izaya. He had reached Ikebukuro quickly, maybe it was even a record, and just knew Shizuo would probably walk thought the park or somewhere near it. Izaya hadn't shown himself but was rather surprised that the blonde hadn't noticed him.

Izaya, even though he wouldn't have wanted to admit it, noticed that something was more off with Shizuo than he had thought. Because while he had sat there smoking he had looked absolutely heartbroken. And for some reason Izaya didn't like it at all.

But where was he taking the cat? He was definitely giving it away but to who or where? Well, there was only one way to find out: follow the blonde.

So Izaya followed and soon found out that Shizuo was taking the cat to Celty. Izaya didn't go inside the building just in case. And he could talk to Celty about it, somehow. He was pretty sure she would tell something if Izaya asked the right questions.

So Izaya waited. Not for long though, only 15 minutes or so. He waited behind a pillar of the other building across the street and when saw Shizuo came out he didn't try to hide anymore. He leaned against the pillar and watched as Shizuo walked out of the building empty handed.

Had Shizuo given the cat away for good? Or was he leaving somewhere – no, Shizuo didn't have to money or will to go for a trip.

Shizuo crossed the street and Izaya couldn't believe it: Shizuo practically walked right past him without a glance. Izaya frowned, a bit annoyed that Shizuo hadn't noticed him and decided to walk behind him for a while. If the brute hadn't noticed him by then he would speak up.

But because the temptation was too great Izaya spoke up after a few minutes. "Why did you leave Shion to Celty, Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo turned around sharply and gave a lazy glare at Izaya, "What the hell are you doing here, Izaya? And it's none of your business." Izaya smirked and that's when Shizuo caught up quickly, "and how do you know that I have a cat?"

"Oh Shizu-chan… I'm an informant, remember? I know almost everything," Izaya dared to take a step closer to the blonde monster, "so why did you?"

"I thought you knew everything," the blonde growled and glared at Izaya with full force. It looked like Shizuo was looking at the cause of all his troubles – maybe the whole world's at that.

" _Almost_ everything." Izaya corrected and was ready for a punch or some other sudden attack.

"Well my life is none of your business!" And that was right before Shizuo took a few quick steps forward and threw a few punches. The informant dodged them easily and threw a small knife.

"But I want to know! I'm just going to ask from other people if you won't tell me. I doubt that you would like that."

"Like I care!" Shizuo grumbled and ripped off the nearest street sign, "but there's no way _I'm_ gonna tell you!"

The chase began. Shizuo ran after Izaya and Izaya ran away from Shizuo. The blonde threw street signs and vending machines at the informant and got small knifes in return.

Izaya was running fast and because he wanted to see Shizuo's face (for some reason he didn't really know) he turned suddenly to an alley that was L-shaped. Izaya ran to the wall that was in front of him and looked behind him. He saw Shizuo walking towards him quickly while holding sign that said "stop". He continued to run by turning to the right and ran to the end of the alley and turned around while leaning against the wall slightly.

"It's a dead-end, Izaya." Shizuo said and stopped walking. The scene looked like, well, like it was: Shizuo cornering Izaya, again.

"How smart of you, Shizu-chan," Izaya commented with a chuckle.

There was a small silent moment between them.

"I want some answers, flea. Why haven't you been in Ikebukuro during this last week? Before you were here almost every day," Shizuo asked and tried to see if the informant was going to try escaping.

"Oh Shizu-chan, I'm happy you're concerned about me. But I have work, you see? Just like you."

"Hah! You mean you are planning something again."

Sometimes Shizuo was a bit too sharp. It was amusing. "Why would you think that? I'm just getting information for my clients. You do realize that I am an informant." Izaya didn't understand why Shizuo was talking to him like this. He almost didn't sound angry.

"You're just a flea and nothing else!" Shizuo growled while taking a stronger grip from the sign if it was even possible.

Izaya just chuckled and looked Shizuo into his eyes, "Flea or not… I'm not afraid of you."

.

Shizuo's eyes widened, his thinking halted and everything seemed to stop around him just for that few seconds. He looked at Izaya like he had suddenly grown cat ears and a tail. Izaya tilted his head and Shizuo's heart skipped a beat. He noticed that his grip around the street sign had loosened a little so he gripped it tighter.

"What's the matter? Did I say something wrong?" Izaya teased.

Shizuo gave Izaya a hard glare and growled while gritting his teeth. And before Shizuo even noticed it he threw the stop-sign as hard as he could.

The black haired informant didn't see it coming either, not really. And it was because of Shizuo's glare; it wasn't from hatred but from pain. The glare was _painful_.  
So Izaya hadn't seen it coming. He didn't have the time to dodge the attack. Izaya cursed in his mind.

But Shizuo missed. He missed even though he had the perfect time and place. He had Izaya corned and right in front of him but he had missed.

Izaya glanced at the street sign that had been thrown into the wall right next to his head. He frowned in confusion and saw just barely the brute's own confusion over the same thing. The next thing Shizuo was doing was charging at him, fist in the air. "Izayaaa!"

Izaya choose to escape from his monster by running past Shizuo right after his punch that hit the wall instead of him.

.

"You've been quiet Celty. Is something troubling you?" Shinra asked as he sat next to the dullahan while smiling, like usual.

Celty was quiet for a while before typing, _'It's just that Shizuo looked so sad when he left Shion here. I thought he wanted us to have him. He left so quickly too.'_ Celty added after Shinra had read her message, _'It wasn't like him at all.'_

Shinra looked at Celty for a while before glancing at the roof, "Well, Shizuo was sad. And that's probably because Shion; he's going to miss him."

' _But he didn't look at me at all and he left as quickly as he could too.'_

"Don't worry about him so much! Shizuo's just very sensitive about these kinds of things, at least I guess so." Shinra thought for a moment and soon grinned, "For example! If I had to give you up or you would leave me, I would cry and mourn for God-knows how long! In the end I would probably kill myself! Oh, just thinking about someone taking you away—" Celty slapped her hand on Shinra's mouth.

' _Shut up! I'm not going anywhere.'_

Shinra smiled and wiped off his tears, "Or think it like this: how would you react if something very important to you, a person or a friend, would be taken away from you?"

Celty didn't like the idea of someone taking away Shinra. _'I think I understand now. Thank you, Shinra.'_

"Was that what you were worrying about?"

' _Mostly yes. But there's another thing.'_

"Hmm?"

' _I think there's something going on with Shizuo and Izaya. And don't say anything weird! I mean that… Actually I don't even know. I just have a feeling.'_

"Well, maybe those two have something going on between them—"

' _I said it was nothing like that!'_

"Okay, okay." Shinra chuckled a little, "maybe you get the chance to ask Shizuo about it tomorrow? I know he's going to the festival. _And_ he's even going to wear something else than his suit: a kimono."

' _He is?! Wow! I really want to see him wearing it already!"_

Shinra frowned at this and tried to hug Celty. "Don't say that! Don't get excited over something like that! I'm good enough for you; I can wear a kimono if it means pleasing your desires—"

' _I didn't mean that you idiot! Shizuo's my friend.'_ She halted and pushed the doctor away, ' _AND WHAT DESIRES!'_

.

"Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! DAMN IT!" Shizuo cursed while walking around in his apartment. "What the hell is wrong with the flea!? Can he read thoughts now or something?" He groaned, "I can't believe it goddamn it! Though nothing happened but still…!"

Damn Shizuo wanted to rant to somebody but he really didn't have anyone who would really understand him. All he could think of was Kasuka but he knew he didn't have time and Shizuo was pretty certain he wouldn't be able to face him. After all he hadn't kept his promise about his job. Though he did have a stable job now… but no. Kasuka was busy all the time and something like this wasn't important. Shizuo huffed and stopped walking. He felt a slight headache forming. "Damn it… Not again." He glanced towards the kitchen and his fridge. Now would be the perfect timing to drink all his beer and get drunk, wouldn't it?

So Shizuo walked to his fridge and opened it, finding only a couple of beer cans. He sighed, went to put his shoes on, took his wallet and keys and left to the nearest convenience store.

It took Shizuo about 30 minutes to get to the store and back. Shizuo placed everything on to the coffee table in the living room and took off his black vest and bow tie. He was too lazy to change all of his clothes. And so Shizuo turned on his TV, opened a can of beer and small bag of sweets and tried not to think anything anymore. Thank God he had no work tomorrow.

.

Izaya opened his TV and changed channels one after another. He huffed when he didn't find anything and decided to just go back to his computer.

All the arrangements had been done, all information had been sent and the plan for both of the yakuza gangs was perfect. Izaya took his phone and checked his mail. He then sent both Shiki and Kanaki a message where he asked did they have everything they needed. When both of them soon answered with a positive response Izaya let himself open the camera icon. And what an amusing thing he found.

Shizuo was sitting on his couch with a can of beer in his other hand and he was watching some stupid game show, which he soon changed to some other show. He was quiet; all that Izaya heard was the voices coming from the TV. But the best thing Izaya got to know a couple of minutes later, when Shizuo got up.

"…No way." The informant muttered when he saw Shizuo walking towards the bathroom slowly. "Is Shizu-chan… drunk?" The blonde looked like he was going to lose his balance at any time so he leaned against the wall for a minute and then disappeared into the bathroom. Izaya burst out laughing, "Shizu-can is drunk!"

The raven must have laughed for a good five minutes at this. He laughed and chuckled when Shizuo came out of the bathroom and flopped down to the couch and yawned while grumbling something. Izaya turned the volume up so he could hear what the brute was saying.

" _Damn flea… I hate violence! Damn it…"_ Izaya waited for more. _"Why…? Why did he have to go and… say something like that? Damn flea!"_ Izaya tilted his head at this. What was Shizuo talking about? What had he said to him? Or was it all just some drunken mumbling?

" _As if I would… fall-"_ Shizuo hiccupped and huffed. Izaya frowned more and glared at the screen. He what? "Fall" what?

" _I'm such a damn coward…"_ Izaya snorted and glanced away from the screen. He was so eager to go and see Shizuo. He wanted to see it with his own eyes; moments like this were rear.

And before Izaya really realized it he had already turned off his computer, took his jacked and walked out of the door.

.

Shizuo drank empty the can in his hand and put it on to the table among with many other empty beer cans. He stared at the TV, not really even understanding what he was watching. It looked like some soap opera so he took the remote control and sighed as he changed the channel. Some action movie was on and deciding that it was good enough, he tossed the remote somewhere next to him.

" _I'm not afraid of you."_

Shizuo frowned at the memory. Why had Izaya said something like that? Damn he was a pain in the ass. The blonde, while sitting there, remembered a lot of other things as well. Like when he had woken up on the park bench and found Izaya sleeping next to him. It had been the weirdest day of his life. Well, one of the weirdest days. Shizuo didn't remember what Izaya had said about it but Shizuo did remember how peaceful Izaya had looked while he had been asleep. The flea had looked rather cute, actually. And it had been a good nap for Shizuo too. Shizuo remembered how nice it had been to have Izaya so close. Silently in the back of his mind Shizuo found himself hoping that it would be nice to have Izaya there again, next to him.

The blonde was about to take one of the few beer cans left from the table when someone rang the doorbell. Shizuo frowned, puzzled, and got up. He walked to the door and was not expecting the person behind the door at all when he opened it.

Izaya stood there in front of him and smiled – or smirked. Shizuo couldn't really tell. "Evening, Shizu-chan," Izaya greeted then and studied the blonde's face a bit.

"…What are you doing here?" The blonde asked and tried to sound as clear as possible, which didn't work at all.

Izaya chuckled and shrugged casually, "I just came to say hi."

"I'm seeing things, aren't I?" Shizuo mumbled and sighed. He tried to close the door but Izaya stopped him.

"You're not seeing things."

"…Right." And before he could react Izaya was already inside his apartment. Shizuo closed the door and turned to look at the informant, "Why are you here, Izaya?"

"I told you: I just came to say hi. Aren't I allowed to do that?" Shizuo could hear the amusement from the flea's voice but choose to ignore it.

"Not really…" Shizuo huffed and took a few steps so he was in front of the informant and pulled both his cheeks. "Why are you here?" He asked, now with a little more commanding tone in his voice, "Can you read thoughts now or something? You piss me off."

Izaya would have laughed if he had been able to. Shizuo was really, really drunk.

As soon as Izaya got himself free he rubbed his cheeks and gave Shizuo a tiny glare. Shizuo looked right back and soon they were staring at each other; Izaya trying to think what to do or say and Shizuo wondering was this a dream, hallucination or actually real. Maybe he could go with everything?

Izaya looked quickly away from Shizuo and went to sit on the couch (after removing some candy wraps from it). Shizuo went to take a glass of water but was soon sitting on the couch too. Izaya was staring at Shizuo. Shizuo was watching TV, not looking at Izaya. The informant soon huffed, a bit annoyed.

"Why are you suddenly drinking so much?" 

"Because."

"Because of what?"

"I know you already know the answer," Shizuo huffed and ate a couple of chocolates from the bag on the table.

Izaya fell silent for a while. The situation was so weird. Maybe _he himself_ was dreaming. "Because of… what I said?" Izaya tried, "Or something…"

"Correct."

Izaya wasn't really sure what he had said to Shizuo at first that could make him drink until he was drunk. But then he remembered the alley, Shizuo's face and eyes and actions, failed actions, caused by, apparently, what he had said to him.

" _Flea or not…"_   Izaya began in his mind and then said the rest out loud, "…I'm not afraid of you."

Shizuo turned to look at Izaya and Izaya mirrored his action. Shizuo had the weirdest smile on his face; it was sad; painful even.

"…W-Was it that?" The information broker cursed the stuttering in his mind.

"Yeah," Shizuo sighed and turned back to the TV for a second before looking back at the flea.

Izaya took a silent deep breath before continuing, "Why would you start drinking over something like that?"

"It wasn't just that but," Shizuo took a large swig of his drink, "It was because of…" Shizuo bit his lip and took a shaky breath, "because I had to give Shion away. And your words had the worst timing. Like, what the hell is wrong with you and your timings?" Shizuo gave a stupid-looking glare at Izaya who rolled his eyes.

"So what? It was just a cat." _"How drunk is he?"_

"It was _my_ cat! I'm lonely again now that… " Shizuo shut his eyes as if trying to think again what he was going to say. "Now that the cat is gone. I don't like living alone…"

The black haired informant stared at the blonde for a second like he had lost his head and then began to laugh like a maniac while getting up. "I can't believe it's because of that!" He held his stomach, "Oh God! Shizu-chan is _lonely_? And just because his cat is taken away from him? Hah!" Izaya chuckled while walking to the kitchen to look something to eat. Beer wasn't something he really liked and sweets weren't his thing and he was hungry. "Isn't that cute?"

"Oh shut up flea!" Shizuo yelled from the couch.

When Izaya got back to the couch with some left-over curry and a glass of water he felt Shizuo's strong stare on him. "What is it?"

"…You aren't supposed to be real."

"What are you going to do if I am real?" Izaya began to eat and tried not to close his eyes; the curry was _delicious_. Who knew Shizuo was actually this good at cooking? Izaya snorted at the thought of Shizuo in a cook's uniform, though it would fit him.

"…Nothing, I guess." Shizuo mumbled and drank the can empty. He continued to stare at the TV while leaning against the couch. Izaya's gaze fell upon the blonde drunk. He tried to concentrate on eating but it was, for some unknown reason, difficult for him.

Shizuo didn't have his vest or bow on. Of course Izaya had noticed this when he had arrived to the blonde's apartment – actually it had been the first thing he had noticed when he saw the brute – but now that he looked at him a bit more carefully he noticed that Shizuo didn't look bad at all. His hair was messier than usually and the white collar shirt was wrinkled. Izaya knew the word that would describe Shizuo perfectly but didn't even dare to think about it. Instead he tore his gaze from the blonde and continued to eat in silence. Why was he thinking stuff like that suddenly?

A good fifteen minutes went past before either of them talked. The silence wasn't awkward, surprisingly, but was just silence. They had nothing to talk about and the TV was on.

"Why do you always keep that jacket on?" Shizuo asked suddenly.

"Because I like keeping it on."

"That's stupid."

"Not as stupid as your bartender uniform – that's ridiculous," Izaya smirked and put the last piece of meat in his mouth from the now-empty plate.

"I got my clothes from my brother! Shut up!" Shizuo tried not to sound drunk, he really did, but his efforts only made him sound drunker.

Izaya thanked from the food, took his plate and left to the kitchen while speaking, "I still don't understand why that makes it so that your wear it every day."

"Because I care about my brother, damn it…!"

Izaya slumped back to the couch next to Shizuo, closer than he had sat before. "Do you have a brother complex? Is that why you care about Kasuka so much?" The reason he was so close to Shizuo was because of one thing: Izaya knew Shizuo wasn't going to hit him. He knew, because Shizuo would have tried to punch him the minute he saw him behind his door. But he didn't, which meant he wasn't going to do it. And he was drunk; he was just going to complain about what Izaya said, it seemed.

"That's not it at all," Shizuo mumbled something about Izaya being stupid, "it's because he… he isn't, you know…"

Izaya tilted his head and kept his gaze locked on Shizuo and his face. His heart began to race.

"He isn't afraid of me."

Izaya's eyes widened a little from surprise. He realized then why Shizuo had acted that way when he had said "I'm not afraid of you". Suddenly it all made sense and Izaya felt stupid, surprised and somehow betrayed. Izaya swallowed. "I'm not afraid of you."

Shizuo frowned and glared at Izaya, "oh shut up! I hate it when you say that! It makes everything worse."

"Why? Is it because I'm one of the people who aren't afraid of you beside your brother?"

Shizuo growled a little, "just shut up…. bastard flea…"

Izaya took a better position on the couch and leaned a bit closer to Shizuo (while trying to ignore the smell of all the beer). He was a bit enchanted by the fact that he could get this close to his monster without being attacked. It was so thrilling! "So it is because of that! But why is it such a bad thing to say?" Izaya went as close as he dared to Shizuo.

"I don't have to answer that," Shizuo almost slurred.

Izaya smirked. He knew guessing would have been stupid at some other time but at the moment it was different. Shizuo might just tell him. And Izaya was more excited now because he knew this was something big to Shizuo, apparently. "Is it because you start thinking different about me?"

Shizuo made a painful face and moved a bit away from Izaya.

Izaya's heart skipped a beat and leaned closer to Shizuo, not that Izaya noticed himself doing this. "Would you start thinking more positively about me? Will you start to-"

"Shut up Izaya before I shut you up!" Shizuo growled and tried to glare at Izaya but it had no effect. Instead Izaya's heart began to beat faster and stopped to think what he was doing.

"Will you start to care about me, Shizu-chan?" Izaya breathed out. He could feel how something close to hope began to stir in him. "Maybe even love m—"

"Shut up! No way in hell that's ever going to happen!" Shizuo almost roared and tried to glare Izaya more, hoping that it would make Izaya stop talking. Shizuo groaned and looked like he was having a headache. "Why are pestering me even in my dreams? The hell…"

Izaya chuckled, "how many times do I have to tell you it's not a dream, Shizu-chan?"

They looked into each other's eyes for a few minutes. Izaya noticed how close they had gotten but didn't really care about it or considered it as a threat. His heart was still beating a bit fast and he was still feeling that excitement that he usually felt during a chase and after it. Izaya was sure it was only because he was so close to Shizuo. Though he didn't usually feel like _this_ when he got to be close to the monster. And even though they were so close already he wanted to be even closer.

Izaya soon couldn't look away from Shizuo at all. Shizuo's had such soft eyes; he hadn't noticed it before. The blonde wasn't going to look away or move anytime soon either, it seemed.  
Izaya noticed that Shizuo was moving slowly closer to him but didn't move away. Shizuo tilted his head a little and soon Izaya felt the blonde's lips on his own.

The kiss didn't last long, only a second or two, but it was enough to get Izaya freeze and his eyes widen.

"If this wasn't a dream," Shizuo began with a soft murmur while still close to the informant's face, "that would have been impossible to do."

Izaya blinked and a light blush rose on his cheeks. He released his breath that he hadn't noticed he had been holding. He could still feel Shizuo's lips on his and even though it should have been a disgusting sensation Izaya only found himself craving for more. Hah, maybe it was a dream.

" _He won't remember, right?"_ Izaya looked at Shizuo and his lips. _"He's drunk too much to remember anything, right?"_ Izaya licked his lips and moved to sit on to Shizuo's lap. _"And if he remembers he will think it was a dream… right?"_ And with a clouded mind and half closed eyes Izaya kissed Shizuo with more passion he thought he had.

Shizuo didn't respond to the kiss during the first few seconds. But as soon as Izaya's hand went into his hair he kissed him back and tilted his head Izaya soon doing the same.

The kiss deepened and soon tongues were colliding, followed by lustful moans. Izaya felt Shizuo's hands on his hips, his thighs and back. His own hands were still in Shizuo's hair, pulling it. And even though Shizuo's mouth tasted like beer and sweets Izaya couldn't care less. He felt intoxicated, like he was drunk. Just kissing made him moan and grind himself against Shizuo, making the said blonde moan too. The blonde was controlling the kiss but Izaya didn't mind it at all. Shizuo's tongue roamed his mouth making him moan in pleasure. And when Shizuo's hand slided on to his thigh again and the kiss heated up, Izaya lost all control over his mind.

Neither of them noticed that their position changed. Neither of them noticed that they were lying on the couch, Shizuo on top of Izaya. The only thing that mattered was that their lips were connected.

Shizuo pulled away from the kiss and panted slightly. Izaya looked at him and tried not to pant harder than Shizuo but damn was it difficult. Izaya's brain didn't seem to work at all and all he could do was acknowledge the taste in his mouth – Shizuo's taste, mixed with beer – and how warm he was feeling. He noticed that he didn't have his jacket on anymore, though he didn't really care. It was better like this.

Shizuo pressed his lips against Izaya's again. The raven moaned; Shizuo's knee was between his legs, pressing his crotch just slightly. It probably wasn't intentional but it was a strange, wonderful sensation.

"Mmh…" Izaya let out a low moan and tried to move so the knee wouldn't press against him but it didn't work. Shizuo let out a sound as he pushed his tongue into the informant's mouth again.

Both of them were a panting mess due to the kissing. Shizuo's knee was still pressing Izaya a little bit but the raven tried to ignore it.

Shizuo let his head lean against the couch, "This…" he began and Izaya had to move his head a little so that Shizuo's breathing wouldn't tickle his ear so much, "has been the weirdest dream I have ever had…" the blonde chuckled, "Do you mind if I fall asleep?"

"Not really." Izaya answered.

"Thanks…" and so Shizuo began to fall asleep, partly lying on the raven.

Izaya still couldn't believe what had happened. He was feeling numb all over, like he had been drugged. He still couldn't think clearly. Was this a dream? Had he fallen asleep on his couch again? The smell of beer soon lingered all around him, making him groan a little. His lips hurt a little bit too from all the kissing.

"…I kissed him." He mumbled to himself. Why had he kissed Shizuo like that? How and why hadn't he moved away from Shizuo when he was about to kiss him? He did see it coming and...

Izaya sighed and suddenly felt tired, "I just kissed… Shizu-chan…" He didn't want to think anything anymore, not for a good while.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything.

Izaya realized he had fallen asleep only after he opened his eyes again. He immediately remembered everything about yesterday and that he wasn't in his own apartment but at Shizuo's. He remembered everything a bit too well to his own liking and groaned slightly. He stared at the ceiling, feeling stupid and embarrassed because of it. Shizuo was still on him, slightly snoring. Being a little too close to falling down he scooted closer to not to fall down, only to realize that his leg was partly on Shizuo and the blonde's hand was around him, keeping him there firmly. This made Izaya's chest tighten and his expression change from displeasure to anxious and even a bit panicked. It was all wrong. How had he gotten himself into this mess in the first place? How was it even possible that–

Izaya gritted his teeth. No. He wouldn't think about it. It was gross in every way. He just wanted to get away from Shizuo.

So, taking a deep breath, he slowly moved his leg from on top of Shizuo's leg immediately feeling the loss of warmth. He moved Shizuo's arm away (that needed a bit more strength) and quickly got up. His heart was beating faster as he straightened himself and gave a glance at the sleeping blonde while he picked up his jacket, putting it on quickly.

The next thing he tried to do was gather his thoughts. He couldn't though, because everytime he tried his thoughts filled with memories and not plans. "I need to wash my face…" he muttered and walked to the bathroom. After washing his face a couple of times he already felt better but was left thirsty. So, after he had drunk a couple of glasses of water in the kitchen Izaya could finally feel his usual calmness settle back down. Now the question was: what to do next?

He knew he didn't want Shizuo to remember anything. And it would have been great if he didn't even remember it as much as to think it was a dream. The only thing that Izaya came up with was that if Shizuo woke up in his own bedroom he wouldn't maybe remember anything. He would just think it was a dream – hopefully a gross one. That made perfect sense, right?

Moving someone like Shizuo from the living room to the bedroom sounds easy but it definitely isn't. Not in Izaya's opinion. _Not_ when the brute was asleep at least.

"Why… are you… so… damn… heavy...?" Izaya groaned as he tried to hold Shizuo up slash drag him to the bedroom. "Damn," he puffed and took the second last step next to the bed, "brute—" Shizuo muttered something, making Izaya jolt, making Izaya fall down to the bed with Shizuo falling with him.

Frowning, Izaya cursed and turned his head to see if Shizuo was awake. He wasn't but his head sure was close. Izaya swallowed and looked away, quickly getting up. He was acting so stupid all of a sudden and it was all Shizuo's fault.

The raven sighed and started to head towards the door. He took his phone from his pocket and saw that the clock was only 6 AM. At least no one would – hopefully – see him coming out of Shizuo's apartment. And with that thought in mind Izaya left quickly not ever wanting to talk about what had happened or even think about it. If the world's end came today or tomorrow Izaya would not be surprised.

.

When you have been drinking enough to get a hangover the worst possible way to wake up is to a noise. Any noise that you wake up to deserves a punch to the face, no questions asked. At least Shizuo was definitely agreeing to that. So when his phone rang he could have just thrown it out of the window.

Shizuo groaned as he answered his phone with a mutter, "hello?" He then got up and yawned.

" _Hi Shizuo, it's Tom. Did I wake you up?"_

"More or less."

" _Uh, okay, sorry. I just thought you would be up by now but I guess sorry,"_ Tom chuckled a little.

"...What time is it?"

" _It's almost twelve in the morning. You okay there?"_

Shizuo yawned and tried to ignore the slowly forming headache "yeah, I'm good. Just… a little bit of a hangover, you know."

" _You gotta tell me what happened when we see then; you don't usually drink that much."_ Shizuo could hear the grin in Tom's voice and it sort of pissed him off. _"Well call me when you're ready with everything, uh, necessary so I know when to meet you, okay?"_

"Oh yeah," Shizuo sighed, "today's the festival…"

" _Yeah, so be as quick as you can. See ya later Shizuo."_

"Yeah bye Tom." And with that Shizuo ended the call and fell back on to his back.

Shizuo's head was aching and he had the feeling like he should remember something about yesterday. And it actually hit him partly right then: Shion was gone. He was at Celty's. Shizuo sighed at the fuzzy memory because there had been Izaya as well. Not that he remembered much, probably another chase around the city. Nothing new there. Gritting his teeth Shizuo truly hoped he had killed Izaya, though he had the feeling he hadn't, because that would have made his day slightly better.

Shizuo decided to ignore the mess also known as his living room when he went to the bathroom. He brushed his teeth and stared at his reflection for a while. He definitely had forgotten something meaningful or important about yesterday.

The water felt good on him and the headache calmed down a little too. "Showers really are the best…" was the mumble he had to make and sighed deeply. Though, Shizuo had a weird feeling looming over him. It was almost like melancholy, somehow. At first he was certain it was about Shion. That he was upset about him being gone. But then he noticed, after turning the water warmer, that it wasn't sadness he felt, it was loss. Loss for someone. Not the cat. What the hell had he done last night?

His living room was easy to clean and he got to help himself with breakfast soon too. But while Shizuo was eating his memory loss was distracting him. It all had something to do with Izaya that he knew. "But what could he have—"_

" _I'm not afraid of you."_

Shizuo's heart skipped a beat and he remembered the alley. He remembered Izaya's sincere eyes and steady voice. _"Monster or not, I'm not afraid of you."_

Shizuo stared at his bread in his hand and his heartbeat quickened. He remembered Izaya standing behind his door and sitting on his couch…

Shizuo had never stared at a piece of bread so horrified and confused in his life.

.

Shizuo and Tom were walking through the crowd on the familiar streets of Ikebukuro. It was a beautiful day to spend outside; it couldn't be more perfect for the Hanabata festival. The sun had been shining brightly the whole day. Almost everyone was wearing a kimono and for Shizuo it was reassuring because he had feared (for no real reason) that he would be the only one wearing one. Even Tom was wearing a kimono, green as its colour.

"Wow.. It's much prettier this year than it was last year... Don't you think so, Shizuo? Everybody is looking much more happier and lively," Tom turned to look at Shizuo and then snorted, "though you're just the opposite. Hey, Shizuo... Care to tell me? You spacing off again, too," The brown haired one muttered and shook his head.

"Huh? Oh, sorry I was in my own thoughts."

"I can see that. What are you thinking about anyway? Having some girl trouble?" Tom smirked but hadn't expected Shizuo to actually react like he did by flinching a little. "What? Really?"

"No! It's not like that. I just... I didn't sleep well; I drank so..."

"Oh... So that's why. Well you should have said something about it sooner! Come one, there's a play starting over there. I heard it's going to be really good this year."

"Play?"

"Yeah, the theatre show."

Shizuo nodded and hummed as an answer and they started to walk towards the stage. It had a lot of people in front of the stage already, who were all waiting for the play to start. Shizuo walked behind Tom and when Tom stopped Shizuo almost collided with his back. He just couldn't stop thinking about it; Izaya; yesterday. The scene just played in his mind endlessly, clouding his head, his mind. What the hell was going to happen to him now? He knew that he had started it himself. That he had... That he had kissed Izaya first. But how had it went from something like that to something like _that_? Izaya surely remembered it because he hadn't drunk anything. Shizuo frowned. Did that mean that Izaya had kissed him voluntarily? Then it must have something behind it. Was he going to blackmail Shizuo now? Had he taken footage of it? Places cameras into his house just to come and kiss him and then laugh and blackmail him? Shizuo couldn't think of anything else. He gritted his teeth at the thought. But then again something as a video of them kissing (if there even was a video) was idiotic blackmail material. It didn't held anything against him. So that left only one option: Izaya had kissed him without any intentions behind it – bad intentions.

The more Shizuo thought about it the blurrier it got. Why had something like that even happened? Had the whole world come to its end or had Izaya finally just gotten mad and crossed the line? What even was the line? Was there a line in the begin with?

Shizuo sighed deeply. He wished he could smoke now but there were too many people. Damn did he need that smoke.

The play told the story of how the Hanabata festival was born in the first place. Or it was one of the stories behind it. This one was the most known one. Two lovers, Orihime and Hikoboshi, who couldn't be together but wanted to be. The whole milky way separates these two. The story, at least on Shizuo's opinion, isn't very good. But the acting in the play was good for once and actually a bit edited to be funny as well. People didn't seem to mind, they only smiled. It's a love story, ironically. At least Shizuo found it ironic for some reason. The town sees it every year and everyone looks forward to it every time. Shizuo never really looked forward to it because he had seen it many times already, every year in fact. Before he went to high school he used to go to watch the play very time with Kasuka.

Shizuo stared at the stage, not really bothering to pay any attention, when he felt like somebody was watching him or staring. He tried to ignore it but when the feeling came unbearable he turned around quickly and scanned around the area. Sometimes it was a good thing he was so tall. There was no one there close to him or far away from him who was looking directly at him. Had he imagined it? "Huh," was all he could master to mutter before he turned back around towards the stage.

After the play Tom and Shizuo walked around. The blonde was smoking a pipe, thinking "finally". The pipe sort of went with his outfit. Personally he liked it a lot because he liked old-fashioned things. Not that it actually was that old-fashioned. Tom picked a paper from his pocket. It was some sort of advertisement.

"Simon gave this to me while I was walking towards the park earlier," Tom began and yawned shorty before showing it to Shizuo. "They're having some sort of event at the Russia Sushi. A very special one for the Tanabata... Should we go and see? I'm kind of hungry for sushi, too."

Shizuo took the advertisement and eyed it for a second before nodding and giving it back to his work partner, "Doesn't sound that bad. But you have to go without me if you go now. I'm not hungry yet," Shizuo said and blew out a cloud of smoke, "I also want to walk around for a bit more."

"Suit yourself," Tom shrugged and then said goodbye with a wave of his hand before walking away towards Russia Sushi.

Shizuo walked around the town, mostly near all the shops. He looked everything that was on sale, all the decorations and all the people walking around. Many trees had straps hanging from its branches with wishes. Shizuo enjoyed looking at the decorations the most because of all the colours. His favourites had always been the paper kimonos, paper cranes, streamers and the paper strips. Shizuo himself was good at making paper cranes though he doubted that anyone actually knew about his hidden talent. Maybe his family did since he used to make a lot of them when he was young.

Suddenly a kid ran in front of Shizuo to his mother, asking excitedly, almost shouting, "Mom! Mom! Can we go and see the fireworks in the evening? Please, please can we? I really want to see them!"

The mother smiled and ruffled the boy's black hair, "of course we can. Actually, though it was supposed to be a secret, daddy is one of the men who will shoot the fireworks. We will have a good viewing spot."

The child's face lit up and he smiled widely while giggling, "Yay! Fireworks!" And he went on as he followed his mother who had continued to walk. Shizuo smiled a little and he then too continued to walk on. Not many moments passed when Shizuo slowed down and sniffed the air. His eyes scanned the area and there, not very far from him, was a sign and a wagon: "Caramelized apples!" the sign said. Shizuo's eyes lit up and he walked to it.

.

The sun was setting. People were wandering towards the best places to watch the fireworks. No one, expect Izaya, was at the park anymore. Legs against his chest he leaned against his knees. He was pissed off. And hungry. And tired and confused. His entire day had been empty of action. He hadn't gone home the whole day either. He was glad it was one of the days he kept free; Namie would surely try to kill him otherwise. He didn't even care about the two gangs who, probably at the very moment, were running away from the police or fighting them. Izaya was a bit amused by the thought of them, though.

Shiki would be so angry at him, he was so sure of it. But Izaya still couldn't believe how blind they both had been to his information. Izaya had made sure he was sure about the gangs' information on things, they hadn't even tried to check them. Even Shiki hadn't and he usually doubted Izaya the most. Izaya had hoped that the new leader of the new mafia gang would have been more careful – because he had seemed like a person who was careful and cunning – but alas it wasn't so. And besides he had clearly been too trusting of Izaya and basically considered as his own informant. It didn't do much good on him. And now? Now the both gangs were against each other, probably. Shiki of course had the upper hand because his arrival to the bank was after Kanaki and his men. Though now that he thought about it it was all pretty boring. Because almost everyday something like that happened.

Izaya took out his black phone from the pocket his jacket and stared at it. He flipped it open, knowing its battery was almost dead. He had had three phones with him but now he had only two. Izaya frowned a little at the memory of it, how he had thrown it away. It had been a little after leaving Shizuo's apartment. He had headed to his own apartment after leaving Shizuo's. He had taken his phone out, the one that had been purple and had noticed that the battery of it was dead. He had thrown it away because he had enough phones and besides, he still had two that had all the numbers he needed in them. Though he had been surprised when the second phone, the black one, had had only 5% battery remaining. The third one, the red one, had had 70% battery. And just like with the grey phone Izaya had been about to throw the phone away, knowing he could easily survive only with the red one, but he had halted. He hadn't thrown it away. Why? Because of all the phones Izaya had the blonde only had his number to this specific black one.

"Why don't I just throw it away? It only has 1% remaining..." the informant murmured while staring at the device in his hand. He was being ridiculous. Since when had he began thinking about Shizuo all the time and before everything else? Izaya couldn't still believe he had spent the day doing nothing; it was Tanabata! Usually he would be walking around the town with his humans, observing them. Not that he hadn't been there... Instead he had spent almost all of his day at the park, sitting there like a statue."What's wrong with me?" Now the only thing he wondered about was Shizuo. Would he remember? Did Izaya want him to remember? He could always say it was just some thing he did; that he had been bored. Izaya gritted his teeth and glared at the ground. The memory of last night was tattooed to the back of his head and it made his heart beat faster and his body almost trembed– with excitement. He knew what was happening. He hated it.

"I hate him," was all Izaya spit out and got up.

.

People were chatting impatiently, wondering what kind of firework display it was going to be. They were all so excited, without worries or troubling thoughts. Shizuo remembered how he had sworn to himself that he would have his next festival peaceful and actually nice. There would be no idiots around or Izaya. Hah, how wrong had he been. The blonde gazed up to the sky and noticed the sun would only have a few moments before disappearing behind the horizon. The normally blue sky was painted in orange, yellow and pink. Such a peaceful and beautiful scene. Shizuo glanced around himself and noticed he was alone at the tree near the small "river". The field where almost everyone was waiting for the fireworks was just across from where Shizuo was. He could see them well. The blonde wondered why everyone was gathered there when they could see the fireworks elsewhere as well; like where he was. In times like these Shizuo wondered why it always went like that; people gathering together to look at something.

"You know, I have never understood the meaning of festivals," a familiar, annoying-most-of-the-time voice stated next to Shizuo. "But I guess humans find it somehow nice to be close to each other. What do you think?" Izaya asked, not glancing at Shizuo even once.

Shizuo hadn't heard him coming. But that's a flea for you; always appearing out of no where. The blonde sighed, "don't know."

They stood there for a moment in silence before Izaya shifted and made a humming sound, "The Tanabata festival is one of the festivals that I really don't understand. I get it, you know, that humans want to celebrate the end or the beginning of something. I know enough to understand the importance of rice harvest. But the Tanabata festival... where did it come from? I've heard the story behind it and I've seen plays when I was little. It's about two lovers who can only see each other once a year, right? Why would we celebrate something like that? Maybe the thought of God's getting together is important..." Izaya sighed and then chuckled briefly, "Humans really are strange sometimes. Don't you think so too, Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo didn't answer Izaya, though he somehow understood his point. But Shizuo somehow knew what Izaya was getting at by talking like this. He was referring to himself by saying that about humans. Shizuo took a deep breath and tried to gather his thoughts that he had been trying to do since arriving to where he now was. That had been almost an hour ago.

"Celebrating two lovers – gods – who can only meet once a year... Absurd, don't you think? But humans are interesting that way, too." Izaya looked at the sky, like Shizuo. The sun wasn't there anymore but the bright light was still trying to reach forward across the darkening sky. "I don't know why but it feels ironic."

"I remember yesterday," Shizuo finally said, causing Izaya to flinch a little.

"Oh you do?" Izaya asked with a sing-sang voice, "though I don't actually care." Izaya tried his best not to sound nervous, which he was. Though he wasn't going to admit anything to anyone – not even to himself. Because it was stupid and very unlike him.

Shizuo sighed. "You kissed me," and before Izaya could say anything to that the blonde continued, "after I kissed you." They were both silent. The sky turned completely dark.

"Hey it's going to start any time!"

"Hear that? They're counting!"

"Oh, they are!"

Almost everyone was counting down the second that remained before the first firework was going to be fired: "3...2..."

"I..." Shizuo began and even though he wasn't looking at Izaya but still at the sky, he could sense how Izaya tensed up beside him, "I don't... I don't regret it."

"1...0!" The crowd cheered and some even jumped. The first firework was shot to the sky and it made a beautiful, colourful circle against the night sky. Then came another one and behind it another one. The sky was full of colours once again. Izaya turned to look at Shizuo.

"Why?"

"I don't know."

"..." The informant looked at Shizuo for a while longer, as if studying his face, before turning his head to the sky again. "I see."

Moments passed in silence which neither of them knew how to break. Or maybe they didn't want to. After all it was so rare for them to stand so close to each other without braking the other one. They watched the fireworks together, both enjoying the other's company. Though, neither of them would have admitted this if asked.

The informant wondered how it had turned into something like this. It was the weirdest thing that had ever happened to him in his life and let me tell you, there had been many strange days and things in his life – he couldn't even count them all. But this – this moment right here – was the strangest thing. Izaya had always liked weird things that were almost impossible to explain. So he was, in a way, enjoying the situation. But on the other hand he wanted to run away from it all; from Shizuo. He didn't regret it? What was that even supposed to mean? Izaya wanted to laugh. Because as always the brute surprised him by doing the opposite what he had predicted. "Why can't you just stop doing that..." Izaya mumbled and this time Shizuo turned his head to look at him.

"What do you mean? Stop doing what?"

"Being unpredictable. You're the worst... " Izaya snorted, "I thought yesterday... When I got to your place that... that you would maybe explain why you didn't hit me. When we were in the alley." He felt uneasy and he hated it. The informant didn't really know what he was even saying, "And you kind of did. But in a weird way. But really, Shizu-chan... Why did you miss me like that? I was right there." And when Shizuo didn't answer him Izaya felt a bit amused for some reason. "Did I actually say something to you to make you miss? You had that weird expression too... Like you were surprised. I'm guessing it was because of what I said. It was, wasn't it?"

Shizuo chuckled briefly, making Izaya frown a little, "I guess it was because of what you said. Yeah, it was because of that." And so unlike his normal voice, which was usually like growling of a hound or just really low and threatening, he sounded relaxed. His voice was, dared Izaya think, soft.

Izaya couldn't control his emotions anymore so he burst out laughing, earning a questioning look from Shizuo. Again Shizuo was being unpredictable and complete the opposite of everything Izaya had thought he was. Words effected him after all? Izaya didn't stop laughing until a few moments later when the fireworks stopped for a second.

"Yesterday... when you tried to... Actually I don't know what you tried, but when you kissed me... Want to know what I thought?" And Izaya continued before Shizuo could even open his mouth, "I thought that Shizu-chan must be out of his mind. But then I remembered that you were drunk. And then I remembered that people usually say or do something they usually wouldn't do when they're drunk. Something they maybe want to do. So I thought: "has Shizu-chan always wanted to kiss me?" But that of course is absurd."

Shizuo licked his lips and shifted so he was half-facing the informant. Izaya was so pleased, for some reason, that his words made Shizuo react like that. He had noticed it long ago, that whatever he said the blonde would react somehow. And the reaction would always be an interesting one. And that was one of the things he loved about Shizuo. Izaya chuckled.

"But I actually found something out, still – about you. And about myself," Izaya mumbled and then smiled. It was a little sad, in a way. "Want to know what it was?" Shizuo looked at Izaya who turned to look at the sky again, waiting for the raven to continue, "I thought... that I wanted to kiss you. So I did. And..."

"...And?"

"And I still want to." Izaya bluntly said and he almost grinned when Shizuo's eyes widened in surprise. Shizuo could react normally too, it seemed. Though somehow it was different to Izaya. "See... I actually realized – and this is a bit of a surprise – that I find you more interesting than anything else." Shizuo inhaled sharply, "If you know what I mean by that. And if it's unclear to you–" Izaya turned to look at Shizuo into his eyes with a quick spin and took a step closer to him, almost giggling as he spoke rather softly, tilting his head just a little, "I like you." And with that Izaya leaned closer and kissed Shizuo on his lips.

One of the most beautiful and biggest fireworks was shot to the sky and as it exploded it was as if a huge, colourful and bright flower bloomed on the sky. The night was truly a beautiful one. The lovers had found each other again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the ending is what it is but don't worry, it's not that simple and it ain't over yet!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything.

Lying on the couch in his living room, Shizuo listened to the silence. Finally he had some piece and quiet but it wasn't that kind of piece and quiet he had graved for almost every day of his life. No, this was silence that didn't let him be relaxed. This silence that surrounded his whole apartment was, in Shizuo's opinion, a silence that was full of tension, unanswered questions and most of all loneliness.

It had been a while since Shizuo felt as lonely as he did now. And from time to time when he forgot to fight the thoughts back he hoped for Izaya to appear behind his door. Or then he wanted Shion back. The blonde snorted at his own sentimentality; he felt so weak from the heart that it was pathetic. He hadn't felt this lonely since he was... well, young. Very young. And he didn't know what to do with it anymore. Other than moan over it. Shizuo hoped it would go away soon.

It had now been a couple of days since the incident with Izaya, since the flea had said "I like you" to him, since he had kissed him. Not that it hadn't surprised Shizuo but he still didn't quiet understand why the flea had acted like he had. Why would he kiss him? Why would he say something like that? Was it all a joke? No – Shizuo was pretty sure it wasn't. He wasn't trying to flatter himself or anything but the blonde knew the informant well enough to know when he was lying or not. So in other words Shizuo knew Izaya didn't lie when he said "I like you" to him but he still didn't know what to think of it. And like said it had already been a couple of days but he still felt a bit loss with the whole thing. After all something like _this_ to happen to someone like _him_ was as rare as a flower on top of an ice berg. But then again, flowers can bloom in cold places, can't they? (He had seen a document in TV about it.)

"But then again I actually don't know him all that well... He must have been lying. Right."

After the short kiss Shizuo had stared at Izaya, surprised. He must have looked like a fish for he had opened and closed his mouth repeatedly, loss for words. And when finally he had formed some sort of words in his head again, a familiar voice had called their names. It had been Shinra with Celty walking with him. Izaya had run off and because Shizuo, at the moment, had been a bit out of it he was unable to stop Izaya. After that they hadn't seen each other. Not that Shizuo had even tried to find the raven. Which brings us here, to his apartment, where he, again after a day full of work, was lying on his back and thinking about what he could have said and done, and what he could do and say when he saw the flea next.

Izaya was perfect for Shizuo. As a friend or, dear he even think about it, as a boyfriend or a lover. The blonde wasn't sure when he had realized this but he figured it had been a long time ago. Probably after one of their first fights when they still were studying at Raira. And who knows maybe that was one of the reasons why he had such hatred towards the otherwise-annoying-and-evil flea. The damn informant had never been scared of him. The opposite: he had been amazed by his strength. He had attacked him without thinking "I have to kill him before he kills me", like most people thought. Or: "if I win this guy I'll be badass and everyone will know that I'm the toughest here!" Shizuo never cared for people like them anyway. But Izaya? He had probably thought something between the lines "I'll slash him just because it's fun" and "Just because I can get him angry."

Shizuo had hated him for it. He still did. But now it was... Now he still hated him but he also enjoyed the feeling of chasing someone around who was not afraid of him. And the feeling was mutual at some level; Izaya enjoyed being chased. Like cat and mouse. It was all wrong, wasn't it? Shizuo let out a laugh. His life could never be normal could it?

"Fuck this is annoying!"

The informant's personality was all but sane and right. It was as twisted as a mind could be. The man was evil from the core to the surface. But in a way so was Shizuo – meaning not normal. He got angry way too easily and when he did he usually threw a street sign or a vending maching towards the object of his anger. So it wasn't something like "anger management issues". No, it was something far beyond that. Shizuo was scared of his own strength. Other swere scared of his strength – all but Izaya. And that meant a lot to Shizuo.

_"I'm not afraid of you."_

It was as if those words carved in to his bones, brain and heart. Like the whole thing was haunting him. And Shizuo was and wasn't happy for it.

So what would it be like to be with Izaya?

"..."

Vivid images were seen because they have been experienced already. Shizuo blushed and broke the coffee table, again.

.

It was the fourth day since the festival and the fireworks. The city and it's people were living normal lives again, getting to work, getting off from work, paying taxes and bills. Kids and students went to work, had fun together. Boys made fun of each other in front of the girls while the girls giggled. Everything was normal though it felt a bit more peaceful than usually. This was, as you could guess, because of all the not-thrown vending machines and the not-crooked street signs.

Cars hurried past the two work partners, one brunette and the other blonde. Tom mumbled somethig to himself about food after work. He was getting hungry again though they just had their break. "I feel like a teenager again. Wanting to eat everything all the time..." the brunette mumbled and Shizuo hummed, confirming he was listening while smoking the ninth cigarette that day. The clock was a little after four.

Tom turned to cross the street when his companion stopped dead to his tracks. He looked around himself almost frantically.

"Shizuo?" Tom asked, frowning on confusion, "what's wrong-"

"Sorry!" Shizuo said quickly and dropped his cigarette to the ground and ran to the opposite direction, towards the southern park, "I've got to go, I'm sorry!" And so he left Tom standing alone.

It was Izaya. He was in Ikebukuro, finally. Shizuo had no idea how he knew it but he could somehow sense his presence. The ex-bartender ran as fast as he could towards the park, hoping to see Izaya and somehow catch him. But his hopes didn't help him much because the informant had noticed him first and when Shizuo finally saw the black fur coat among the crowd it was too late. The coat was too far away to be seen after a few seconds and soon it disappeared among the crowd.

The blonde cursed and called Tom, asking where he was; he'd get back to him now.

After work this happened again. He was walking home from work when he saw Izaya walking across the street. But before he could reach the raven at all the said man noticed the blonde and ran away and hid himself.

This happened the next day and the day after that. They couldn't even be called chases anymore because there was no chase. Shizuo would either notice or sense Izaya and maybe run for a few minutes but then give up; the informant was nowhere to be seen. It was like he just disappeared. At least this was the case a couple of times. Otherwise Izaya just got a big head start.

Well, it wasn't like Shizuo didn't understand the reason behind Izaya's "escapes". After all, if there ever was going to be a chase between them it would be completely different with their usual running-around. The chase would either end with Shizuo catching Izaya or completely giving up on him and the chase. Shizuo knew this. And he knew Izaya knew this as well; he understood him that way.

.

There were days when Izaya simply loved his job and then there were days when Izaya wanted to do anything else than his job as an informant. Past these couple of days his opinion about his job was the latter one. Why? Because just when he wanted to stay away from the crazy city he needed information about someone who would only be seen in Ikebukuro. It became even more unbearable when Izaya remembered his little confession every time he walked inside Ikebukuro.

"Why the hell did I do that again?" Izaya asked himself the hundredth time that day. "I know why but... Why?" He groaned and sat up on his couch when he heard his secretary walk through the door.

"Why the hell are you laying there for? You have a job to do you know!" She grumbled and walked to the couch, "do you have any idea how much of a pain in the ass the damn Shiki can be? Especially when I tell him you can't be reached! What the hell did you do again?"

"It was just a trick – a trick to show them I'm above them. Don't worry about it. There's nothing they can do to me anyway."

"...You wanted to show them you're above them? Are you crazy? They could get you killed as easily as they would a bug."

"..." Izaya frowned. A bug? "Don't call me a bug. And no they couldn't." Izaya's mind decided to be annoying and a certain blonde made his way to the raven's thoughts again. He laid back down.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah, right. The Heiwajima calls you a flea, doesn't he? That means only he can call you that... Makes sense."

Izaya snorted at that. Only Shizu-chan could call him a bug? What the hell was that about? No one could call him that, Shizu-chan just... He was a brute so he just didn't stop calling him that. After a thought like that Izaya found himself imagining a scene were a group of people, Shiki's people, were after him but then Shizuo threw a vending machine at them claiming that Izaya could only be chased by him. Izaya opened his eyes and with an annoyed and embarrassed face and sighed. "Please stop talking, Namie-san. You're giving me a headache with your voice."

"Oh, how cute." The woman's voice dripped with sarcasm and Izaya rolled his eyes.

The informant couldn't believe his own condition. He was embarrassed, angry, happy and nervous at the same time. He had never in his life felt like he did now. He wanted it to stop. It was too abnormal for him. All of it. Izaya knew what he was feeling but wasn't ready to face it. Not because he was scared or anything but because it was so unbelievable. He had said it during the firework display. He knew he had said it but it still felt like a dream or a hallucination; it was almost something like a story out of a story book. And despite it all Izaya couldn't stop himself from feeling that bitter-sweet emotion of lonliness mixed with the dreams of Shizuo.

"This is ridiculous!" He stated suddenly and got up from the couch suddenly and went to sit in front of his computer that was already on. "Namie-san! Get me some coffee."

"I'm not your maid!"

"Secretary's work includes getting their employers coffee."

"I'll poison it."

"No you won't." And with that Namie walked to the kitchen and poured Izaya a cup of coffee.

While the informant was typing away with his computer, a cup of coffee next to him, his phone rang, signaling that he got a text message. It was Celty.

_"I have a delivery for you. Mind seeing me at the South Gate of Ikebukruo as soon as you're able?"_

Izaya sighed and lenaed against the table with his arms, _"Sure. Tonight or tomorrow?"_

_"Tonight. At nine or so."_

_"See you then."_

Izaya sighed and frowned. A delivery? From who? Izaya had no idea. Though he did want it to be something interesting and actually life-changing because at the moment he was stuck. Like in a swamp. "I could start philosophy..." Izaya chuckled and then got up from his chair, leaving his work mid-air. He looked out of the window behind him and looked at the street. What was he looking at, anyway? Humans? No, because he had a string urge to search for something.

A few silence-filled minutes later he got back to his work, face looking disturbed and annoyed. And there was something else as well though it was a bit hard to spot.

.

The night of Ikebukuro was always exciting because usually the streets were full of people who didn't show themselves during the day. Those people, like you could probably guess, were usually criminals and alike. Izaya was no exception.

"Celty's late," the informant mumbled as he looked around. He was standing in front of a bar. He could hear jazz music from inside. He took out his phone and it showed that the black rider was already ten minutes late. He would certaintly note about this to her.

Not a moment later Izaya could see an all-black motorcycle heading towards him. It slowed down and parked close to Izaya and the rider with a yellow helmet got off. Izaya approached her.

"Good evening. You're late! I may want a rebate."

Celty took out her devise and typed quickly, _'Sorry about that. Some policemen were chasing me and I had to get rid of them so I took a longer road.'_

Izaya smirked, "Oh.. Well, I could take something else than money, still."

Celty seemed to look at Izaya with a confused look. Not an innocent-kind of look but what-the-hell kind of look. _'Usually I wouldn't even think why you would say that because you're partly crazy,'_ Izaya laughed. _'But somehow the way you said that is weird."_

Izaya tilted his head in wonder, "what are you talking about? Please stop talking like a psychologist, Celty."

_'I will. And anyway, I belong to Shinra.'_

"..." Izaya, after reading the message was silent for a while. "So the delivery? I do hope it's something interesting or else my waiting was for nothing."

_'Oh yeah...!'_ Celty then turned around and took a green bag from under the motorcyckle's seat and turned around, offering it to Izaya who took it without any questions. _'So... want to tell me what's in there? Is this another one of your schemes with money and lizards?"_

"No. Actually I was a bit surprised when you messaged me."

_'Oh. So you don't have any idea?'_

"Well..." Izaya snorted, "I do have an idea but I sure hope it won't come true..." While talking the informant crouched down and placed the bag to the ground. He then opened it, making Celty leaned towards the bag too so that they were both hovering over it.

"-!" They both flinched away, Izaya almost scrambling away from the bag.

What was in the bag? Rotten fish. It was even cut into peaces; and of course it had it's eyes still on. And actually the head of the big salmon was right at the top and the big eye of it was staring blankly upwards. In other words, when Izaya had looked into the bag the eye of the dead big fish had been right there staring at him.

Celty wrote fast, ' _What in the world is that?!'_

"...Revenge. That's my best guess," the informant almost groaned, disgusted, looking away from the bag. He hated fish eyes the most. "That's what you get from messing around from wannabe-italian mafiosos."

_'What mafiosos? Don't tell you were involved with that new mafia!'_

"Oh so you've heard of it? And would you close the bag? It's making me sick." Izaya chuckled while looking away from the bag and waving his hand in front of him. Celty closed the bag looked at Izaya who turned to look back at her.

_'Yes, I've heard of it. It has a massive territory and I've heard from Shinra that they are brutal in some ways. They also like the original italian mafia. The even use some of the...joining rituals? I don't know what they've called but...'_

Izaya nodded and gave a dramatic sigh, "As I suspected! Well they chose well because I absoltely hate dead fish." He shook a bit. That had really pulled him back to reality from all of that thinking – stupid, childish thinking. How hadn't he noticed he had actually been _feeling down_? He wanted to laugh at himself. Since when had he lost sight of his pride? "Anyway, was that all?"

For a while Celty just looked at him. Izaya smirked at her as she began to type. That took her more than usual but as she finally showed the informant her phone, Izaya kind of understood why it had taken so long for her to type. _'I saw you with Shizuo at the Tanabata festival, when they_ _were shooting the fir_ _e_ _works.'_ She then added quickly, _'Not that I want to get involved or anything but what were you doing there? And how come you two weren't fighting? At least I think you weren't because Shizuo didn't ran after you.'_

Izaya read the message and then made an amused face while looking at Celty like he actually didn't understand what she was getting at. "What do you mean 'get involved'?" Izaya chuckled and then shrugged, "that doesn't make any sense, really. And we weren't actually fighting. I think. So he didn't run after me."

_'Care to tell me what you two were talking about?'_

"It's not really your business." Izaya answered, irritated though not showing it. He didn't want to talk about it, not really. The whole thing had started to make him feel sick already.

_'Shizuo was really silent after we got to him, after you had left.'_

Celty wasn't letting it go, was she? Izaya shook his head, "what do you think we talked about? Something important and deep? Do you really think Shizu-chan would really have a conversation with me about anything without throwing in a few punches?" Izaya chuckled because that was the truth. But then, at the time, it hadn't been like that.

_'I'm going to ask Shizuo about this the next time we meet. So I will hear about it sooner or later.'_

"Then why are you asking me to tell you?" Izaya asked as he leaned on his left leg more, "if you're going to hear about it anyways."

_'I want to know because if you said something bad to Shizuo I can do something about it sooner.'_ And as Izaya tried to hold on to his laughter Celty added, _'If you did something to Shizuo that makes him unhappy I won't forgive you.'_

"You truly value your friends, huh?" Izaya breathed out and then had a staring contest with the black rider if you could call it that. Somehow it irritated Izaya even more, the way how Celty wanted to know something like that. But on the other hand Izaya understood her. She was curious. Hell, he would have been curious if he was the headless woman. "Alright, I'll tell you."

And Izaya told her. That they had kissed and how Shizuo had told him he didn't regret it. How Izaya had just said something stupid to him as a joke. How he actually didn't mean it, that it was all for fun. And of course, while telling, he kept the details to himself. He didn't make it sound like it was a big deal. He told it all like it was nothing but a chase. And maybe in a sense it was.

"But then again, when Shizu-chan said he didn't regret it, maybe he actually meant that he didn't regret it because he doesn't know what to regret. After all he _was_ drunk and not himself." Izaya muttered and then chuckled as he looked at Celty to see her reaction. Though, of course, she didn't have one. And that, at least right now, somehow made Izaya feel slightly bothersome. After all he couldn't read her at all. If she had flinched or used some other physical reaction other than facial expression then sure he would have been able to read what she thought of all of it. But she didn't even flinch. She just stood there. Nothing more. For the longest while. At least to the informant, who liked to see a reaction happen as quickly as possible in any situation.

_'What did you say to him before you left?'_

Izaya could have groaned. "I told him that I liked him."

_'And?'_

"Nothing else."

Celty seemed like she was judging him silently. Not that Izaya cared much. Headless rider or not he wasn't afraid of her or her shadows. _'Can I ask_ _one thing? Why did you told him that? I mean...If you hate him as much as you claim you do, that makes no sense. Not even as a joke.'_

Izaya spun around and began to walk away from the woman who followed him slowly riding her motorbike. "Because the festival was so emotional it made m emotional as well? Not really. I just wanted to test how he reacts."

_'And did he?'_

"You're scaring me with all those big, deep questions, Celty." Izaya said, making a face. "Shizu-chan never acts how I think he will so I actually didn't..." He cut himself off in the middle of the sentence. He stopped and stared at Celty for a minute who, even if it couldn't be actually seen, looked pleased with herself in Izaya's eyes. Izaya gave Celty a small glare in disapproval.

_'You didn't...what?'_

Izaya huffed, "I thought that he would either be angry or not. Now, if you excuse me I will be taking my leave. Talking about someone like Shizu-chan gives me a headache." And with that the informant waved his hand and walked away from the black figure, who watched him get away, silently.

_"I didn't expect anything. I just said it."_ Izaya finished in his head as he glared in front of him. That was what Celty had wanted him to say. What she almost had made him say. How could she? Izaya hadn't said "I like you" because of something like that. Though he had expected Shizuo to react in some way, though he hadn't, again. Izaya inhaled and then let it all out as a long sigh."Women really are horrible and vicious, aren't they? All of them. Even the supernatural..."

.

"Alright, this is the final stop for today" Tom announced as they stopped in front of a rather large apartment building. "We were fast today! The clock isn't even half five."

Shizuo nodded," We didn't have that much places to go, either."

Tom hummed, "Yep! It's been an easy day. Let's hope this one goes as easily as the other ones today." And while Shizuo hummed in approval, taking a new cigarette and lighting it, Tom told the details. "This man is rumored to be an information broker. Though, not very good at his job. He gave some false information to some gang and as soon as they noticed the gang wanted to pay back double the money they had paid him. You can probably guess the rest."

"Yeah." The blond grunted. The bastard had probably borrowed some of the money and now won't pay that money back. Information brokers really were the worst. Izaya was the wors of all, he was actually in a different catalogue all-together, but still. Just thinking about the flea made Shizuo's head ache.

They went inside and in less than two minutes a loud scream could be heard inside the building. The light-brown haired man ran outside and fell down to his knees in a hurry. "Wait! I can explain!"

Shizuo was gritting his teeth, the cigarette long ago fallen between his lips. "Explain? Really? And why do you think I'd listen? Just pay up!"

But the man didn't seem to listen as he fought back his tears, "B-But y-you see! I- I was in danger to get beaten by the gang! What else could I have done?!" He seemed to gain some self-confidence as he kept on going, his face ugly and messed up by all the tears and snot. "Yeah! I didn't want to get beaten! Do you know how brutal they were? I had no choice! A-and since I gave all my money away I can't pay you!"

Shizuo let out a laugh as he looked at the man with a face that told more than a thousand words while he spoke down on man, "Well you know what? I bet you're gonna wish you had gotten beaten up because I'm going to kill you." And with that he took the man by his collar and punched him as hard as he could, sending him far, far away. Afterwards nothing else was heard but a crash and a car alarm going off. Shizuo sighed.

"You really beat him up, huh." Tom commented as he walked a little closer to Shizuo. "More than normally."

Shizuo ignored Tom's commentary and took another cigarette, mumbling, "I wasted another cigarette because of that bastard." And in the back of his mind Shizuo hoped he had thrown the man harder. "That was the last stop, right?"

"Yeah. All we need to do now is to go back to boss and make a report."

And that they did.

Shizuo was scolded by their boss by not being able to control himself, again, but that was it. "Just try to hold it in the next time" was all his boss said before dismissing him, again. Shizuo apologized, again, and left the building and headed nowhere. It was all a stupid routine. Because no matter how badly he did, the boss wouldn't say no more than "just watch it next time". Shizuo knew well enough that he would get fired if he couldn't do his job properly. He knew and he did his best. But some times the bastards just didn't pay. And usually they offered nothing but excuses and stupid lies and accusations as to why they were unable to pay back. Those were the times when Shizuo couldn't help his anger. He hated himself for it because usually, if he was normal, he could just beat up those unpleasant men. But no, instead of punching he would throw them half-way across Ikebukuro or punch them through a wall or the ceiling. Shizuo himself was used to it but he knew it wasn't just okay to do something like that. So why in the god damn hell did his boss say only "watch it next time" when it was suppose to be "you have to stop doing that"? Shizuo wouldn't mind if his boss even threatened him by saying "if you keep on doing those things I have to fire you".

Shizuo wanted to punch a wall.

Was he, too, scared of him? Was he just unable to say normal things to his face because he was like this? A man with more physical power than will-power? But then again he understood. And Shizuo couldn't blame him.

Shizuo took a long drag from the cigarette between his lips. "Am I going to wrestle with the same problem my whole life?" the blonde muttered to himself. "And what even was the problem? My strength?" He looked at his free hand and frowned. No. That wasn't it. The problem wasn't his strength. "Aren't I the problem? I have all this power and yet I can not control it. So isn't the problem just me?" Shizuo laughed dryly, "Aren't I becoming a bit too pathetic?"

The blonde shook his head. He really needed to clear out his head. And he knew just who could help him. Celty.

Celty was one of those people who Shizuo trusted greatly. He didn't really know why. Maybe it was because she was a woman (since they are good listeners and easier to talk to, at least this is what he has heard), maybe because she didn't have any facial expression or maybe it was because she didn't talk. Either way he was thankful to her, especially in times like these when he felt like clearing his head for good.

And so Shizuo texted her quickly while walking, _"got any time to have a chat with me?"_

And the replay from her didn't take long, _"Sure. Actually I was just about to ask the same from you. Where are you? I just arrived to the East Gate."_

Shizuo stopped near a street lamp to text her back, _"How about the usual place? The bridge I mean. It'll take me about 15-20 minutes to walk there."_

_"Sounds good."_

.

The clock was almost six when Shizuo finally got to the bridge, where Celty already was, doing something with her phone. Though, as soon as she saw her blond friend, she waved at him happily and Shizuo did the same with a smile. The sky was already showing sings that evening had arrived by colouring the sky with a hint of orange. The bridge, even though it was a motorway, was not as busy as usual. All in all, it was peaceful. It was ideal to the blonde and most probably to the headless rider as well.

"Evening," Shizuo greeted and looked at his friend. He then leant against the railing, took a cigarette from the box in his pocket, lit it and took a smoke.

_'Evening to you too Shizuo. How are you?'_

"Good, mostly, I suppose. It's been an easy day at work today, so I'm happy."

_'I see.'_

"What about you?"

_'I'm good. I've had an interesting week.'_

Shizuo held the cigarette between his fingers and looked at Celty with a small smile or a grin tugging at his lips, "Oh? How's so?"

_'Well, I've heard interesting and strange things.'_ And she added after erasing the earlier message, _'?'._ Shizuo chuckled shortly and she added, _'Let's just say I've seen and heard things I wouldn't usually even think to hear or see. I think that sums it up quite nicely. Yeah.'_

"I see. Well, I'm glad you've had an interesting and fun week. Mine has been a little... Well, not so good."

Celty was quiet for a moment, _'Is that why you asked to see me?'_

Shizuo hummed with a nod and looked away, blowing a big cloud of smoke out between his lips.

Celty gave a little nod, as if it was for herself, and then walked a bit closer to Shizuo away from her motorbike. _'I'm happy you feel that way. I'll do my best to help you if can!'_

Shizuo smiled, "Yeah. Thanks."

Minutes went past and neither of them spoke. Shizuo was again grateful to Celty for giving him time to think how to phrase his thoughts. Women really knew these kinds of things. Or maybe Celty just knew him well. Shizuo wanted to believe that. Because like that he could think: "Celty knows me, but of course, she is my friend after all." That made Shizuo's mood a little better and it actually helped him to start his becoming "speech". Because really, when he told Celty about his feelings like this it was really like he gave a speech. But that didn't matter to him much. After all, it made him feel better and Celty didn't complain.

_'Shizuo?'_ Celty poked his arm gently, _'Are you okay? You're smiling.'_

Shizuo laughed a little, "yeah. Just thinking. Sorry."

Celty tilted her head and slipped his phone away into her sleeve. Shizuo took his final smoke from the cigarette and then let it fall to the ground and put it out by stepping on it. The sky turned a few shades more orange.

"Remember when the Slasher incident took place? When you drove me to the park and gave me those gloves, too?"

Celty nodded.

"Well... While fighting they said something to me. "No one can love you because of your strength" was what they said. I knew it from before so it wasn't a shock. But... It is the truth. No one can love me because they're afraid of my strength," he looked at his hand and sighed, "Their scared of my strength because I can't control it. I can't control myself." Shizuo waited a moment before continuing, "My brother – Kasuka – Simon and you are the only people who aren't afraid of me. Or rather... You are the only people who I can call "friends". Tom is there too. You are people who stay beside me even though I have this strength that makes me like a monster."

Celty was silent for a while before tilting her head. And before Shizuo could blink twice she held her phone in front of him _'And...?'_

After reading her message Shizuo chuckled shortly. "The day when I brought Shion to you I ran into Izaya after leaving your place. And I don't know why it came to it but..." Shizuo frowned slightly and looked to the sky while trying to put it all into words. "He said to me, while looking straight into my eyes, that he wasn't afraid of me. "I am not afraid you" was what he said."

Shizuo did not know it but Celty felt a her chest tighten. She knew Shizuo was a good person. She knew he couldn't do anything but try to control his strength when angry. She wasn't afraid of him, most of the time. And even when she was it wasn't fear for herself. It was fear for Shizuo, that he might hurt himself. At least that was what she thought about it right now. And she was pretty sure, after knowing him as long as she had, what Shizuo was trying to say through all this.

"No one has ever said something like that to me, I think. Not while looking at me into the eyes. Not really knowing what their saying. Sounds kinda stupid now that I say that aloud..."

_'Not at all.'_ Celty would have smiled, probably, if she had a head.

Shizuo snorted and a few seconds later he let out a sigh and continued. "A long time ago I realized no one can love me because of my strenght. Because they're afraid I might hurt them. I also realized and learnt that I can't love anyone because I'm afraid of my own strenght; because I might hurt them. Kasuka is my brother and I would never hurt him. He knows this, he knows me, so he isn't afraid of me. You know me too so I think you know that I won't hurt you. Plus I get the feeling you might even win me in a fight."

Celty waved her hand dismissively, _'No way! Shizuo is far more stronger than me when it comes to fights.'_

Shizuo shrugged, "Simon is... Well, he is from Russia. I think that is good enough of an explanation. And even he can't beat me in the end." Shizuo let out another sigh. And for some odd reason, as he thought the next person and began to talk, he didn't feel irritated. Maybe a little bothered but that was all. It was strange. "But Izaya... He just keeps coming onto me. He knows that I get angry – he annoys me on purpose." The blond gave a slight groan, "I really don't know how to explain it. It all sounds dumb in my head." He ruffled his hair.

Celty thought for a while before typing her thoughts, _'Do you mean that you can be yourself around him?'_

Shizuo nodded and looked bothered. "It might sound odd but yeah. It's like... Well, like I don't have to be afraid of myself. Since he isn't afraid of me. And usually is good at escaping me before I do get to him." That thought made him grit his teeth for a second but then he just sighed. "I really don't know what I'm saying anymore."

Celty shook her head and began to type and then erased it, typed and erased it. This happened a few times again until she finally showed the screen of her phone to Shizuo. _'I think you just finally realized what he means for you, as odd as that might sound. I don't actually mean that in a romantic sense, don't worry. I mean... I think he makes your life a bit more easier._ _We've talked about this before and I think this time you've finally found something important.'_

Shizuo scratched the back of his head, "Yeah... I know. And it bothers me. Someone like the flea... I actually regret that I found him somehow important. He's annoying and evil. I hate him. And yet he's a person who I can be myself around with. Isn't that called a paradox?"

_'Hah, well, maybe.'_ She typed then quickly, _'But I'm happy. You seem like_ you _again.'_ Shizuo frowned at this but Celty explained, _'You've been really silent. I've seen and heard you while working and you lose your temper even easier than usually. And...'_

"...And?" Shizuo rose his eyebrow, curious.

_'You're fights with Izaya have been a little... How do I say it... A little bit out of place?'_ She tilted her head and typed again, quicker this time, _'At least that's the feeling that I'm getting.'_

Shizuo's eyes widened and he didn't say anything for a moment. _"So even she noticed it..."_ "Well... I don't think nothing has really changed. Other than that they're shorter, maybe?" He didn't want to lie but he didn't want to tell her the truth either. Why? Because he wasn't sure himself what it all was about. Or he knew but... _"It's just something I know. I don't know how to say it out loud."_

Then they were quiet for a while. They heard the noises that came from the quickly passing vehicles and they saw how the sun was again closer to the skyline painting the sky with different colours, like orange, yellow and pink. The wind that was there but wasn't too strong.

"Well... I think I head home now. Thank you for listening again. It really helps me when I talk with you." The blond finally said and looked at his friend calmly.

_'I'm glad I was able to help you. I feel better now that I know you feel better.'_

"Yeah. Well, alright then. See you, Celty."

_'See you, Shizuo.'_

And with that they parted. They headed to the opposite directions. Shizuo felt happy and at ease, finally after these last five days of irritation and blurry, mixed thoughts.

"I sure miss Shion though... Maybe I could go and see him soon?"

.

It was Friday, the fifth day after the Hanabata festival. The clock was nearing two in the afternoon. Izaya was sitting in front of his computer, a little absent-minded. The cup of tea he had next to him on the white table was steaming peacefully while the sun shone into the big empty apartment. The informant stared at the screen of his computer and clicking random pages open while every now and then he glanced at the chat room which was currently empty. Not even "Setton" was on. Not that he actually wanted to talk to her. Or anyone he knew at least. He sighed and clicked his internet browser away. Was there something else he could do to entertain himself, was the question Izaya sought for an answer. Because he was terribly bored. He didn't have almost any work at the moment either.

"Not that I'm in trouble." He muttered to himself and drank from his cup.

Izaya looked at the desktop of his computer. There were different icons to all kinds of programs but one in the corner alone stood out a bit. A camera icon. The camera icon to the cameras in Shizuo's apartment. He wondered if they worked. There was only one way to find out and so he opened the program. It took a while but the cameras were soon showing a scene of an empty bedroom, living room, kitchen and an opening front door. Shizuo stepped inside with a bag in his left hand. He had been shopping, apparently. The blonde took off his shoes with a sigh and walked to the kitchen and began to unpack.

Izaya leaned against the backrest of his computer chair and let out another sigh that almost echoed. He glanced outside from the big window and wondered how the world still hadn't ended. "Really... I thought the end of the world was near. Apparently not." Izaya took his cup and drank a little of his tea and watched the blonde again. He was texting someone. Izaya frowned and clicked the windows away, put his computer to sleep and got up still holding his tea cup in his left hand. He went and settled down to the sofa then and turned on the TV. He browsed the channel a little while before settling to watch the familiar anime with the two boys. It had just began and apparently it was the last episode. "How exciting".

Well, in the end it kinda was but because Izaya hadn't seen the previous episodes he didn't get most of it. Especially not the scene where the two kissed again in the end. Though, Izaya was amused by the fact that Shizuo's cat's name was Shion, which he remembered shortly after the episode had began.

The next thing that was about to start was Naruto but Izaya had no interest so he changed the channel. Izaya stopped at random and surprisingly a show was on, a film, actually. Izaya hadn't seen it before. There was a woman who's voice was apparently like a narrator of the film. Izaya had to admit that the sceneries in the films were very stunning and after a few minutes into the film Izaya decided to watch it.

" _It's not that I'm shy. It's not that I don't treasure my friends. I just don't want them to get hurt. Ever since I was fifteen I couldn't speak, as people said, normally. You see, I couldn't lie. Even my parents were very confused when they first actually realized it.. I was 18 when my first boyfriend dumped me. And all because he couldn't take it when I told him exactly how I felt."_

Izaya drank the rest of his tea and took a better position on the sofa.

" _The only one who hasn't left me yet or complained about me always speaking the truth is my cat. I love her so very much. I would be very lonely without her. I think that me and her are similar in a way. She, just like I do, always tells me exactly how she feels. If she's hungry, she tells me. If she's lonely or sad, she tells me. Even when she is furious at me, she tells me. Loud and clear."_

After about 15 minutes Izaya found it boring and just decided to turn the TV off. He went on his back and stared at the ceiling with a glare. "I'm bored!" He complained and sighed. "I don't have anything to do! Usually when this happens I would go tease Shizu-chan but that's not possible, now is it?" The raven gave a lonely sigh. But he could go out and walk among his humans. "Now that I think about it, I haven't observed humans in a looong time," he smirked and got up. "Shizu-chan is at home at the moment too so I don't have to worry about him, either. Yay!" He chuckled and took his jacket from the corner of the couch and was soon out of the door. "Not that I even should worry about someone like him."

.

Shizuo stared at the apartment door in front of him and glanced down to the bag in his hand. He sighed and knocked on the door. "Will he even remember me? Probably not..." the blonde mumbled and let out a long sigh. Then the door was opened by Celty.

About two hours ago Shizuo had asked Celty if he could see Shion some day. The headless raider had almost instantly replayed that of course and then had suggested this day. Of course Shizuo was up for it since it was his day off (which had actually come by surprise but he didn't complain) but wanted to go grocery shopping before he left. And that's why he was now there, behind the crazy doctor's and Celty's door, with a bag of treats for the cat. Shizuo felt a little off by this setting.

"Hi," Shizuo mumbled and excused himself as his friend let him into the apartment. There was a loud 'meow' sound right after Celty closed the door and a familiar cat appeared from the living room. Shizuo, taking his shoes off first, smiled and bent down to pet the cat who in return purred slightly and nuzzled its head against Shizuo's hand and leg. "You've really grown, huh, Shion?"

_'He has! And he eats a lot more than usually.'_

Shizuo straightened himself and looked at Celty, nodding. "So he has stayed healthy?"

_'Yeah. No problems at all. He's been full of energy. Though some times...'_ Celty kept a pause and then typed, _'Some times Shion comes at me or wonders around the apartment, making noise. It's like he's searching for something.'_

Shizuo frowned, "searching for something...?" he went to the living room and sat on the couch, Shion immediately jumping on to his lap and starting to purr rather loudly. Shizuo smiled a little.

_'Well, more like someone. I'd like to think he searches for you.'_

Shizuo chuckled and shook his head, patting the softly purring cat on his lap. "That's a nice thought you have about something like that. And how do you think it's me who he's looking for?"

_'I don't. I just... Have a feeling. You're his actual owner after all.'_

"Oh. I see. So that's what you mean. Kinda like I'm his dad or something?"

_'Exactly!'_

Shizuo remembered to give the treats he had bought for Shion when Celty asked if he liked some coffee or tea. Shinra arrived 30 minutes after and his expression was purely surprised when he found a certain Shizuo Heiwajima playing on the floor with a cat. After one hour Shizuo left and thanked Celty for letting him see Shion. Though, Celty just shook his head and said Shizuo he didn't need to thank her.

_'And besides, thanking me for letting you see him feels like thanking me for letting you see your son.'_

Shizuo let out a laugh while Shinra was almost brave enough to yell at Shizuo and tell him to stop putting weird thoughts into Celty's head. Metaphorically speaking.

After leaving Shinra's apartment Shizuo decided not to go home yet. The clock was only five or so and it was his day off so why not take a walk? It was ideal for him, in fact, this moment and actually the rest of the day: there was nothing to do (since it was his day off), the weather was great and there was nothing or no one to piss him off (because it was his day off he didn't need to bump into those annoying people). "Ideal indeed."

Ever since yesterday, when he had talked to Celty, Shizuo had felt much better. It was like he suddenly knew where he was and how to think. It was like he knew himself a little better or like he had been tired but taken a nap and was now feeling awake. Yeah, something like that.

The blonde yawned, put on his blue sunglasses and headed to the closes park.

.

Izaya stopped mid-way his merry walking when he heard a familiar voice call out his name.

"...Izaya?"

Izaya stared, surprised, at Shizuo who was sitting on the bench not far away from where he stood. Shizuo stared, just as surprised, at Izaya who was standing not far away from where he was sitting on the park bench. They were like that, halted, for at least 10 seconds.

Izaya almost gasped as he took the first step, attempting to run away. Shizuo, however, had good reflexes and reached for Izaya's arms, grasping it tightly. Shizuo's grip didn't last, however, because the informant got to pull his hand away from him very quickly. The blonde grunted, Izaya frowned and the chase began.

First they ran almost to the centre of the city. And it was far from normal. Izaya noticed this when they had run for five minutes without him dodging anything. And that was when the raven also realized he was in a real danger. Almost glaring he quickly threw a couple of blades towards Shizuo who just dodged them. Izaya glanced at Shizuo's face and didn't like what he saw. _"Such a serious expression..."_

Anyone who knew how their chase usually went had probably noticed it but there was something wrong with the chase. Because no matter how intense the chase seemed like, with Shizuo sometimes yelling the flea's name or with Izaya throwing knives to stop the blonde monster of a man, there was no _actual chase_ _._ And the danger Izaya had noticed? It was this.

Izaya jumped over fences, tried to get Shizuo under a car a few times, but it was all futile. He didn't get angry - and that if anything was making Izaya feel uneasy. It was how Shizuo chased him. Because believe it or not Izaya knew Shizuo when he was chasing after him and right now... right now he wasn't trying to throw anything at him. He didn't shout his name so that the whole city knew the chase was on again. He didn't have that deathly, brutal, animal-like glare while keeping his eyes on his target, Izaya. The blonde simply chased him. Not aiming for a kill. Not aiming to hurt him.

In the past when the brute had been trying to "hunt him down" Izaya had known why. But right now he didn't. And that made him more confused and by that even more uneasy. What was going to happen if he actually was able to catch him? What was Shizuo going to do with him? Death was something Izaya wasn't all that worried about. After all it was natural. And by not actually running away like a coward, like normal humans did when it came to Shizuo, Izaya had sealed a long-time deal with himself and his pride: if Shizuo ever did get him caught he would let the blonde kill him – have his way with him, basically. Because that was the deal.

_But this is a completely different thing...!"_ Izaya glared ahead of him and started to feel panic rising. Because for the first time in a long while he had no idea what was going to happen. He had no idea how he was going to get out of his own mess. For the first time in his entire life, Izaya really wanted to get away from Shizuo – the Shizuo that he did not know.

Taking the next right Izaya decided it was time for him to take it the usual way and turned next to an alley.

The raven turned around and took the last two steps before his back hit the wall after reaching the end of the narrow alley. He breathed a bit heavily and glared at Shizuo when he suddenly stood before him.

"You finally giving up, flea?"

Izaya chuckled and took out a knife from his pocket, "No, sorry."

Shizuo huffed and then just looked at the smaller man for a while. Izaya just gave him a glare."Now, now, Shizu-chan. It's very impolite to stare at people. And because it's you I find it very disgusting as well."

"..." Shizuo looked as if he was studying him for a second before putting his sunglasses away. "You know, I think now if ever is a good time to start explain yourself. What the hell are you up to – or were?"

Izaya could feel how his hand twitched and his breath almost hitched. Now he knew why the blonde was chasing him. Now he knew what would happen if Shizuo caught him and made Izaya face him. And he knew he wanted to avoid it at all cost.

Izaya charged at Shizuo and before the latter could react Izaya threw a knife at him somehow and almost slided next to the blonde's leg. It was surprisingly easy.

After leaving the alley and the main streets, Izaya almost cursed out loud. He had only one way to go: the road that went by the field and the river. And right there he had very little of places where he could hide, if any. He threw a knife at Shizuo and continued to run. Shizuo was too close. And he still wasn't throwing anything at him. Suddenly memories started to push their way into his mind and he felt like screaming. He didn't ask for any of this. He didn't ask to get into something like this with someone like Shizuo. What was it all anyway?

Izaya had no idea anymore.

"If you won't stop running I'm going to have to talk with you like this!"

Izaya ignored him and tried to get his thoughts in order. After the small bridge across the river, what then?

"Why the hell did you tell me something like that?!" Shizuo shouted from behind the raven, making his gasp. Was he serious? "Why did you kiss me the night when I was drunk?"

"What the hell are you talking about! And don't shout something as absurd as that in public!"

"You're not giving me a choice!"

"I am! Stop chasing me!"

"I won't! I'll chase you until you tell me!"

It was frustrating. Izaya thanked, for once, that there were no people around. "Sorry, but I don't recall!"

The sun had started to set down by the two of them were running towards the bridge. Izaya still tried to stop making the blonde shut up by throwing a knife of shouting him to shut up or stop saying nonsense. They were already out of breath, Izaya more than Shizuo. Or at least the raven was positive it was like that because Shizuo seemed to get closer to him by the minute. _"I can't panic because of something like this!"_ He tried to tell himself that but for nothing. Izaya had no idea what to do anymore expect run.

The bridge stood silently before Izaya, alone and waiting. The water seemed shoal under it. Well, of course, it hadn't rained in a while. The water only reatched to your knees.

Izaya glanced behind and his eyes widened and his heart skipped a beat – Shizuo was right behind him. _"Damn bartender-brute...!"_ Izaya tried to run faster and again his eyes widened when he realized he had an escape route. Shizuo's weak spot; his brother; his clothes.

Izaya turned left to cross the bridge and then, before Shizuo's hand could reach and grasp him finally, he jumped over the edge with a single, desperate thought and a wish in his mind: _"He wouldn't wet the clothes he got from his brother! It would ruin them completely...!"_

It was the time for Shizuo to widen his eyes and gasp in surprise. "What-" He looked down from the edge only to see Izaya way below him in the water, almost completely soaked, about to dash away. The blonde frowned and without a second thought, jumped after the informant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this chapter! This time I actually didn't edit the chapter. And that is because I am too lazy and I tried to edit and fix all the grammar mistakes/typos. So I'm sorry if there are many mistakes :l
> 
> Special thanks to my friend who's name begins with the letter M. She is amazing and is all-knowing when it comes to Durarara, especially Shizaya. Without her help this whole fic would be just ultra-ooc-ness. So thank you dear!
> 
> And now for the question of the day: what is your favourite scene/s? Mine definitely has to be the scene where Shizuo and Celty "talk thing over". The time when I wrote it was a bit unexpected, actually. I was suppose to go to sleep but then I thought: "hey, I'm going to continue my fanfic now". I didn't feel excited or anything. Mostly calm. But still the text just kept on coming and I just... wrote. Wow. It was a weird experience. Though, the fact that I write it at 1AM - 3:40 AM might have something to do with it. Still, I love it. I love Shizuo. He's so... cuddly. At least when you think how lonely he must feel from time to time ; _;
> 
> About the next chapter: WARNING! It will be super fluffy...! Oh yes. I don't know how long it will be but fluffy it's going to be. And in addition about the whole fic: it might be at the end of it's path. I'm not sure yet but I think there won't be many chapters left.
> 
> Thank you for reading and for waiting this chapter! Thank you for all the kuodos' ?(14 pages. Or maybe like 13 and 2/3 pages. That is how long this chapter is. Fuck.
> 
> So long... Might be my longest yet.
> 
> Okay so... The end of this chapter is what is is. It went as I planned it to go but the way that I wrote it is from the land called "did you even try". I seriously tried to write it as I saw it in my head, how I had long, long, loooooong ago planned it to go, but... It just didn't. Especially the very end of it. It starts so suddenly, sorry. Though to my defence I have to say I wanted it to start like that. I wanted to give it a certain feeling, see. (Not that I succeeded...) I JUST WANTED TO FINISH AND UPLOAD. THAT'S IT'S. AND I DID. I don't fuc- care.
> 
> I'm having a bit of a rough time at the very moment so I apologize for my bad language. Nothing person, reader-lovelies. Just letting some steam out. I'm so sorry. T_ T
> 
> Special thanks to my friend who's name begins with the letter M. She is amazing and is all-knowing when it comes to Durarara, especially Shizaya. Without her help this whole fic would be just ultra-ooc-ness. So thank you dear!
> 
> And now for the question of the day: what is your favourite scene/s? Mine definitely has to be the scene where Shizuo and Celty "talk thing over". The time when I wrote it was a bit unexpected, actually. I was suppose to go to sleep but then I thought: "hey, I'm going to continue my fanfic now". I didn't feel excited or anything. Mostly calm. But still the text just kept on coming and I just... wrote. Wow. It was a weird experience. Though, the fact that I write it at 1AM - 3:40 AM might have something to do with it. Still, I love it. I love Shizuo. He's so... cuddly. At least when you think how lonely he must feel from time to time ;_;
> 
> About the next chapter: WARNING! It will be super fluffy...! Oh yes. I don't know how long it will be but fluffy it's going to be. And in addition about the whole fic: it might be at the end of it's path. I'm not sure yet but I think there won't be many chapters left.
> 
> Thank you for reading and for waiting this chapter! Also thank you all who gave me kudos! ♥


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything.

The splashing sound behind Izaya made him turn around in surprise and partly in shock. "What are you doing!" he blurted out and then tried to scramble away from the blond who almost desperately reached out his arm and grasped the raven's wrist. Shizuo groaned as he pulled Izaya towards him, his grip tight enough to keep Izaya from escaping. Izaya tried to get his arm free from the blond's hold but in vain. Shizuo had caught him.

"Let go, brute!" The informant spat as he tried to pull his hand away. Shizuo didn't dodge.

"No way I'm letting you go! And stop squirming, damn it."

Izaya's pants and shirt were soaked and he was feeling cold. But Shizuo's hand was warm and steady – Izaya hated it. "You're crushing my wrist!" Izaya lied and tried to pull Shizuo's hand away with his other arm. Shizuo took a hold of his other hand then as well and tried to held him in place while he still tried to shake the blond off. "Let go!"

"I'm not using much strength here so it can't hurt! And even if it did I'm not letting you escape anymore," Shizuo pulled Izaya closer to him and placed his other hand on Izaya's upper arm to hold him still. "Izaya – damn it, flea! Calm down...!"

The water was still splashing around them, this time with more power, and making their pants and half of their torso's even more soaked with the cold water.

"Damn it Shizuo, let me go...!" Izaya's last attempts and energy were placed into the next turning and twisting. But his attempts to escape were again for nothing for Shizuo's grip never loosened on him. In fact, the harder Izaya tried to get away the tighter Shizuo's hold got. It was useless. He had caught him. _"He caught me..."_ And with that one bitter thought Izaya stopped struggling.

The water was still making large waves against the grass at the shore after a few moments of silence and stillness. Shizuo's hold loosened but he never let go.

The blond snorted softly, "calmed down?" And when he didn't get a reply he sighed and continued. "I want to make things as clear as possible by talking. But standing here in the cold water will make us both sick. So," he moved and pulled the flea with him away from the water to the grass surrounding the small river area. "I suggest we go somewhere to change our wet clothes and get warm."

Izaya kept his gaze on the ground. He grit his teeth and turned his head away from the blond. He was cold, his heart was beating fast and his pants, shirt and jacket were wet. He had been caught by Shizuo. He didn't have any other choice but to follow the blond.

Shizuo huffed and seemed to look at the informant for a while before letting go of his wrist and started to walk away from him. "Come on, flea."

And Izaya did.

.

Shizuo's apartment seemed smaller than usually when Izaya stepped in. Shizuo closed the door behind them and took off his shoes behind Izaya. The informant, after taking his shoes off, walked to the living room and made a face as his wet socks made noises while he walked. Shizuo followed him and stopped a few meters away from him.

"You can take a shower first."

Izaya frowned, "why?"

"You probably catch a cold easier than me. And I don't want you to run away." The blond's gaze was somehow more... calmer than it usually was. Izaya hummed.

"I wouldn't run away with these clothes; they're soaking wet. And in addition, my place is really far away."

Shizuo shrugged and walked to the balcony, taking his box of cigarettes out of his pocket. "Damn, these are soaked, too..." he muttered and Izaya just knew he was frowning.

Shizuo's back had traces of water on it, evidence of what had happened. The black fabric was darker on the spots were the vest was wet. And it wasn't much. Izaya's back, on the other hand, was soaked. His jacket, shirt and jeans were clinging on to him. The water felt cold against him and made him shiver.

Almost the whole time walking to Shizuo's apartment, Izaya had stared at Shizuo's back. He had wanted to kick it, place his hand against it to feel if it was warm and then, maybe, he had wanted to lean against it. The rest was just trying to forget about the gazes some of the few people gave them.

Izaya had almost been surprised when Shizuo chose the quickest route to his house, which was through a couple of alleys. At first he had been sure the blond would suddenly turn around and either punch him or start talking to him right there.

Izaya sighed.

"...What are you standing there for?" The blond asked after a few moments of stillness. "The bathroom's over there, but I think you knew that already." And for a moment Izaya thought Shizuo knew about the cameras but then dismissed that idea. How could he?

"I don't have any dry clothes," the raven answered and shifted a little, "Or a towel, for that matter."

Shizuo made a face and then walked to his bedroom, mumbling, "oh, yeah." Soon he was back with a pile of clothes and a towel. He handed them to the informant. "I don't have anything small enough for you but these have gotten shrunk in the laundry."

Izaya gave Shizuo a look and then turned away and went to the bathroom without thanking. Was he making fun of him? Shrunken clothes... He wasn't that small.

As soon as the hot water hit him he started to relax. Though, taking a shower at Shizuo's place was making the raven a bit uneasy. And he didn't like how the whole bathroom was so small and cramped. Izaya couldn't even compare it to his own spacious bathroom... "Well, it's an experience..."

Shizuo's shampoos were mainly for coloured hair. Though one bottle of the three was for normal hair but it was chocolate scented. Izaya stared at the bottle a while before chuckling to himself. Really, Shizuo? "Don't only girls use these kinds of shampoos?" Izaya had no other choice but to use the shampoo for coloured hair.

The body wash, the only one there, was normal. At least it wasn't weirdly scented or anything. "I would have never guessed..."

Everything smelled like Shizuo; the towel and the clothes. It was weird. Izaya, after drying himself, almost had second thoughts about putting the red boxers on. He didn't know why but he was feeling embarrassed. He got over it quickly and discovered that the boxers were just a little bit too big for him. He didn't mind though. The shirt was about the right size too, and so were the pants. Well, almost. The sweatpants' legs were baggy. Damn height difference.

Shizuo was still in his normal clothes when Izaya got back. The blond was taking a smoke in the balcony. Wasn't he cold or at least uncomfortable? Izaya's jacket was in a coat hanger in there too and the raven could see small puddles of water under it. Shizuo turned around just when Izaya sat down on the couch. He put out his cigarette and walked over to the raven. He took off his wet clothes and put them to dry with his jacket. Izaya watched him the whole time. After this the blond went to his bedroom. He came back with a towel and some clothes and then disappeared into the bathroom. Izaya listened the shower turning on and sighed. Was Shizuo usually that quiet? He didn't know and it irritated him.

After a moment or two the informant got up from the couch with the towel on his shoulders. He walked to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator and took a look inside. It was almost empty: a carton of milk, a bottle of water, a bottle of some juice, a few cans of beer, a pot with a closed lid on it and a couple of cartons of pudding. Izaya closed the door and went back to sit on the couch. He leaned against his legs after lifting them up on the couch and then closed his eyes.

The door of the bathroom opened and Shizuo walked out, wearing a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. The only difference between Shizuo's sweatpants was that they were grey while the ones that Izaya had on were black.

"Want something to drink?" Shizuo asked after opening the refrigerator and taking out the bottle of water.

"No."

Shizuo hummed and put the bottle on the table and started to dry his hair while walking towards the couch. Izaya turned to look at him with a waiting expression. Shizuo stopped walking once he was behind the couch, just next to Izaya, and then they just stared at each other for a while. The sun was setting, making the sky orange-coloured. The apartment was peaceful and silent.

"Why is your hair still wet?"

Izaya frowned at the question, "because I'm too lazy to dry it."

Shizuo huffed, took the towel from Izaya's shoulders and covered Izaya's head with it. "You'll catch a cold like that. Dry it."

Izaya wanted to laugh. Shizuo was acting like a mother hen. He chuckled, "Now that you said I have to I won't do it at all."

And before Izaya could even blink, Shizuo had placed his hand on his head and began to dry his hair. The raven's heart skipped a beat and he went silent. But only for a moment.

"You're too rough."

"Mmmh," was the small sound the blond gave him and slowed his hands. Shizuo's hands were actually gentle and the informant wasn't sure what to think of it.

"You're quiet." Shizuo commented after a few moments. "Not that I mind."

Izaya snorted and leaned against the back of the couch, lying on it comfortably while Shizuo's warm hands dried his hair. He really, for once, had nothing to say. Or rather he didn't want to talk. All he did was try to calm down his heart that had started to beat a bit faster on its on accord.

Shizuo's hands stopped and Izaya hoped that they hadn't. "You're usually never quiet for more than a minute." The usual anger in the blond's voice, Izaya noticed only now, was gone. It was rough but not strong.

_"What ever that means,"_ the raven chuckled in his head. He then looked up to Shizuo. "I'm not always talk-active you know. I can be quiet too."

Shizuo snorted and continued to dry the informant's hair once more. They both probably knew it wasn't needed anymore but the new type of contact felt nice. "Well I never knew that. I thought you never shut up."

Izaya chuckled and let himself close his eyes. Shizuo must have been surprised for his hands stopped for a moment before he continued again.

"I didn't know you could be so good at something like this."

"...The hair-drying?" Izaya hummed and with that made Shizuo chuckle, "Neither did I."

Moments went by silently. Shizuo stopped at some point completely and went to get a comb for the raven. And without asking the blond made them some tea. And for Izaya's surprise, Shizuo's tea was good. It was actually something he would call as "ideal tea". But neither of them said a word. Or rather, neither of them knew how to start. Izaya expected Shizuo to open his mouth first. And when the silent had grown enough and when they both had almost drunk their tea, Shizuo did.

"So why did you say those things back then? About not being afraid of me and then that other thing."

"Other thing?"

"..." Shizuo sighed, "You said: "I like you". At least that's what I heard. And then you kissed me."

Immediately Izaya remembered everything very vividly and a weird feeling started to swell inside of him. Why had he said it?

"...Did you mean any of it, anyway?" And as those words slipped out of Shizuo's mouth, Izaya just knew he regretted it. It amused him a little.

"I did and I didn't." Izaya lifted his head and looked at Shizuo, "What will you do if I did mean them?"

They looked at each other for a while again until Shizuo frowned. "What kind of half-assed answer is that? And I suppose I would be surprised if you did. And I wouldn't believe you."

Izaya laughed, "I remember you saying something about not trusting me 99% of the time..."

"And are you saying I should trust that 1% now?" Shizuo kept his gaze on the informant who in turn smirked a little. Or maybe it was a smile.

"Maybe."

It was Shizuo's turn to smirk, "As if."

.

Some things in the world are legends and fairy tales. One of those, for some people, would be a scene were the informant of Shinjuku and the monster of Ikebukuro sat close to each other without trying to kill the other. Well, for those people it wasn't a legend anymore. It was, you see, happening at the very moment. And the scene was more than strange.

Eating the rest of his rice, Izaya sighed, pleased. Indeed, Shizuo's cooking wasn't bad – not at all. Dared he even think about it but he could easily eat it every day. "I can't believe someone like you is good at cooking." Shizuo snorted at the comment and drank down the rest of his milk. Even the seasoning was perfect for his tastes!

The clock was close to nine and it was dark outside. The TV was on in the living room while the two men were eating dinner in the kitchen at the small table. Shizuo had made some rice and left-over vegetables with some pork he had had in the freezer. He had said it wasn't anything special but because Izaya rarely ate anything home-made he had disagreed. In his mind.

"Thank you for the food," the informant mumbled and took his plates to the sink. He glanced at the blond who was staring out of the small, dirty window, and sighed.

In the end they hadn't talked much. Actually, not at all. Shizuo just told him to move out of the way before sitting down next to him and opening the TV. After a few hours he had started to make food. They hadn't talked in those few hours. Though they had had an argument over what they wanted to watched from the TV. It had been too normal for Izaya's liking. _"Who would have guessed..."_

His jacket was still wet and so were his pants. He sighed and went to the bathroom. The mirror showed a man who he wasn't sure he had ever seen. He looked small with the white t-shirt hanging on his shoulders and the puffy black hair that was there as a proof that Izaya hadn't used his usual hair conditioner. The raven made a face at himself.

When Izaya was out of the bathroom Shizuo was yawning in the living room. Izaya looked at him for a second before moving to the couch. "So where am I going to sleep?"

Shizuo's face showed nothing but utter surprise as he looked back at him, "What?"

Izaya frowned back, "What do you mean 'what'? You can't be thinking I'm going to leave any time today. My clothes are still wet!"

"But you can't just decide that on your-"

"It was your fault in the first place so take some responsibility, Shizu-chan." The blond's name sounded more like an insult than a name when it came out of the raven's mouth.

Shizuo tried to say something against the accusation but then closed his mouth and just stared into the raven's eyes. After a while he made a 'tsk' sound and gave up, "Fine. Do what you want."

Izaya was pleased and went to sit on the couch while Shizuo went to the balcony.

The next two hours, before Shizuo got up and told Izaya he was going to sleep, were spent by watching TV and drinking a few cups of tea. Neither of them said it out loud but they enjoyed the lazy evening. Of course there were moments when both of them or just the other felt like something was about to happen, something that involved insults and fighting. But in the end it never did and their minds calmed back down.

Shizuo reached his bed that was poorly made a little after eleven o'clock. He slumped on it with a loud sigh. He wasn't sleepy but he was tired. He still couldn't understand the fact that the flea was in his apartment. And in addition the flea behaved well.

" _I wouldn't be surprised if the world ended when I'm sleeping..."_

Sighing again, the blond shifted, got under his blanket and closed his eyes after getting a good position.

" _In the end we didn't get a chance to talk like I wanted. But I guess it's a bit of a problematic subject."_ And besides they had talked, a bit. It was something, right? Shizuo shifted his legs and blinked. Would the flea be gone by morning? Was he only going to stay until his clothes were dry? Sighing heavily the blond closed his eyes. _"I'll found out in the morning if he's there or not. Guessing won't help-"_

Next to Shizuo on the other side of the bed something heavy made the bed creak softly. Shizuo didn't move but he could hear how that obvious someone was fluffing up a pillow and sighing softly. Only when his blanket was tugged did he turn around to see that he was face to face with the informant. Silence followed.

"...Why are you in my bed?"

"I don't want to sleep on the couch."

Shizuo frowned slightly, "well you aren't sleeping here either."

"You don't have a spare mattress so it's practically your fault. And believe me I would sleep on the couch but I know it's uncomfortable."

Shizuo frowned more, "How do you know? You haven't slept on it before."

Izaya snorted, "oh but I have. Or have you forgotten?" his voice was a bit teasing and Shizuo almost stuttered at the comment.

"Okay, but I'm still questioning your choice of place to sleep."

"Why? Because you're there? Don't make me laugh," Izaya chuckled, "you don't scare me enough to make me sleep on an uncomfortable couch."

He had said it again. Shizuo groaned softly, "again with that..." And when Izaya only rose his eyebrow Shizuo sighed, "You keep saying 'I'm not afraid of you' in different ways. I bet you're doing it on purpose. Why?"

Izaya huffed first, "I wonder when Shizu-chan got to be that sharp." The raven chuckled then, "But I don't do it all the time, you know."

"But why?" Shizuo demanded.

Izaya gave Shizuo a look but the blond just stared at him. He clearly wasn't going to let this go. Why did he have to be like this? Maybe he should go to the couch... "No real reason."

"You always have a reason no matter what you do."

When had Shizuo become this sharp indeed. Again they just looked at each other, Shizuo frowning a bit while Izaya was looking like he was trying to solve a puzzle. In the end it took five minutes to Izaya to finally answer him.

"I wanted to see how you react," he shifted on the bed, closer to Shizuo, "because you never react like I expect you to. It pisses me off, actually."

At this Shizuo grinned a little, looking pleased. "You piss me off so I think it's only fair." Shizuo shifted a little then too.

The raven didn't look happy. "Protozoan..." He muttered and moved closer to Shizuo and a tiny smirk formed on his lips when he noticed Shizuo's confused expression. "By the way, now that we're like this... Why did you kiss me that day?"

It was dangerous – the whole situation. Izaya knew it wasn't a good idea to start a conversation like this. He knew, but the thrill he got from it was too strong not to give in to. It was something new to him and he wanted to know more; he had to get to know more.

The whole week had Shizuo thought of wanting to get things clear with the flea. He had been a little confused even after talking to Celty. And now that they were finally talking things through (kind of), now that Izaya was asking these questions... He suddenly didn't know what to say or how to react.

Izaya leaned a bit closer, "Well?" He could feel his heart beat faster. "And why do you define reality and dreams like that? Would you think 'now' is a dream if I kissed you?" The bigger male tensed, which gave Izaya a chance to smirk some more, "Don't you think that's a bit... stupid?"

"I was drunk." The blond huffed and met the raven's gaze once more, "you of all people should know what alcohol does to a person."

"You're different." And before the other could comment he continued, "you can tolerate alcohol better than normal people." " _Because you're_ _not a normal person_ _,"_ Izaya added in his head.

"I'm pretty sure I was still drunk as hell."

"That doesn't explain you kissing me like that."

"Yes it does. But what about you?" It was Shizuo's time to smirk: Izaya's eyes widened a little at the realization of what was to come. "You kissed me without any alcohol in your system. How do you explain that?"

Izaya knew silence wasn't a good answer but that was all he had to offer. Why indeed. If he thought about it and tried to remember a reason why he had done it nothing else came to his mind but just the fact that he had wanted to. Izaya didn't want to get any kind of conclusion that involved this fact. He knew the answer wouldn't be something he liked – or Shizuo.

Shizuo's smirk grew much to Izaya's displeasure, "well?" But there was something else in his voice. Something that sounded a little like uncertainty.

Izaya sighed, "I don't know. Maybe because I was curious? Or maybe I just wanted to?" Izaya noticed how the brute frowned a little and because he wanted to make Shizuo not-so-high-and-mighty but a little uneasy, he continued his half-lies. "What would you do then? If I told you I was actually attracted to you and that that was the reason?"

Shizuo's frown increased by every second and it was soon a displeased and angry face that Izaya knew all too well. It was comforting, in a way. "I wouldn't believe you. Why were you even in my apartment that night?"

Izaya frowned a little in turn. How boring he was being. "I heard you gave up your cat so I wanted to see if you were heartbroken. And you were." Izaya looked at the blond for a while and felt himself relax all of a sudden, "and as to why I kissed you... I just wanted to. There was nothing else behind it." Izaya knew just from looking at the brute that he wasn't buying anything he was saying and he had to chuckle shortly at this, "Can't you believe me just this once? Or what kind of answer do you want?"

Shizuo growled and again Izaya moved close to him. So close that their noses were just inches apart. The blond made a face of confusion and Izaya's heart started to beat faster in his chest. That night all he had wanted to do was kiss him. Right at the moment he wanted to kiss him. Why Izaya wanted to get that close to the blond was a mystery. Did he want to see how he reacted? And then the raven remembered the feeling of the others hands on him and the pure _passion_ the kiss had had. He shivered and shifted. He wasn't being his usual self – in any level. He was probably getting mad.

" _But haven't I always been a little mad? At least_ _compared to an average mind..."_

And so, before Izaya realized what he was doing, he kissed Shizuo. And to his surprise the blond did little else than flinch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so... I hope you liked this chapter! Compared to the "original" a few words and sentences have been alternated and those grammar mistakes I noticed have been fixed. I read it through once so forgive me for all the remaining typos/other errors! 
> 
> Any comments about Shizuo drying Izaya's hair? My chest tightens at the very thought of it (or hair ruffling, etc.), am I the only one? ;n ; I did my best to make this chapter fluffy so maybe comments on that? 
> 
> Thank you for reading~!


	13. Chapter 13

Izaya woke up when the sun had just started to rise, greeting everything its light touched like it had never been gone in the first place. A calm silence had filled the apartment. There was no noises from outside. Maybe a few faint chirps from birds could be heard but those were distant and light. Izaya blinked and sighed, feeling a little tired even though he had slept well. Memories that he didn't know how to handle rose from the depths of his mind and started to hunt him way too suddenly. Or maybe the word 'hunt' wasn't the right word because all the flashbacks from yesterday evening made his chest feel pleasantly tight and warm.

" _Why do I have to remember something like that right after I wake up?"_ Izaya mused silently in his head. It must have been because of the presence of a blond right behind him and the body heat radiating from him. Izaya could feel his own heart starting to beat faster when he shifted just slightly towards Shizuo until their backs touched. Izaya let out a small sigh and closed his eyes briefly before leaning against the sleeping beast more relaxing as he did. His back was warm. Izaya hated how it made him feel relaxed and comfortable so easily. It was suppose to have the opposite effect.

" _Everything should be the opposite..."_  And he didn't even like intimacy all that much.  _"And everything_ should have been _the opposite. Especially with me."_  His heartbeat increased from the memories and suddenly he was feeling a little bit too warm.

Everything from yesterday still felt too unreal; too intimate; too strong. Izaya knew he had been the one to start it all but he had never known it could have ended up like that.

The short kiss that the raven had given Shizuo had been followed by another. And after that the two of them had stared into each others eyes until Shizuo had broken it by kissing Izaya quickly. From there they had stayed silent for a couple of seconds until meeting each other in a kiss that took Izaya's breath away. There weren't any shared looks anymore, just closed eyes, heat and numbed minds. It hadn't been the informants intention to turn a simple kiss into a make-out session but it certainly hadn't bothered him after the turn of events. The opposite: the moment Shizuo had taken control over the kiss Izaya had found himself on his back, Shizuo on top of him, craving more. The alarm bells in his head had been long ago turned off and he hadn't even been bothered by it. Izaya could remember the moment and the sensation when the blond's tongue had invaded his mouth a little too vividly, making him moan. Not that he had been the only one. Shizuo had made some of his own noises when Izaya had pulled him closer by sinking his hands into Shizuo's hair.

Izaya groaned and frowned, almost blushing at the memory. He didn't want to wake the brute up by moving around too much though Izaya was pretty sure the blond was a heavy-sleeper. Unlike him. But he did want to hit him. The raven sat up slowly and gave a glare at the blond's direction. He then got up and went to the bathroom and then to the kitchen to drink a glass of water.

The worst thing about the previous night had been how Izaya's body andmind had reacted to the kissing and the closeness of the other. He had been out of breath, dazed and completely turned on by the time they finally broke apart moments after. They had stayed like that, catching their breaths, Izaya trying to collect his thoughts. He had never actually felt like he had back then. A feeling like that... It wasn't him. He wasn't suppose to feel anything like that – excitement, haziness; the feeling of almost being high. But then again it was Shizuo who he was dealing with here.

And before Izaya had gotten his brain to think rationally again, before he had gotten his thoughts back in order, they had both forgotten to keep their hands to themselves. Or at least it now seemed to have been like that; the way he had slided his hand onto Shizuo's back feeling every muscle while Shizuo's hands had wandered on his sides; the way he couldn't help but to respond just as feverishly to the kiss Shizuo had given him next. Izaya had never felt anything like that in his life. He hadn't found it scary like he almost did now, remembering it, but sort of thrilling. And the worst part was that hadn't ended there, oh no.

Izaya cursed every possible power he knew though he knew he really had no one else to blame but himself.

Izaya put the glass on the counter and slowly walked back to the bedroom. Shizuo was still asleep, his hair a mess and his face was so relaxed it was hard to tell that it really was the older Heiwajima. This was the... fourth time Izaya had seen the blond's sleeping face. It was cute, he had to admit, again.

"But now I have a problem... How am I going to face you in the morning?" Izaya made an irritated face. Shizuo really made his life difficult.

.

Shizuo woke up to the chirping of birds. There also was the slight cold he felt. Shizuo opened his eyes, pulled his feet back under the blanket and sighed. What day was it? The clock on the night stand read 8:55 AM. The blond yawned and sat up. It really was a little chilly. "It's not even close to Autumn yet..." he muttered and got out of bed.

The sun was shining brightly outside, blinding Shizuo for a moment when he opened the curtains. His stomach felt empty. It was time for breakfast.

The moment Shizuo stepped into the living room on his way to the bathroom his eyes locked on to a familiar informant sitting on the couch. Shizuo stared at him for a few moments, frowning, and then continued his journey to the bathroom. He was probably half-asleep.

A few moments after he had stated to brush his teeth Shizuo's eyes widened and suddenly he was wide awake and remembering everything. At first he just stood there, frozen, but then his cheeks started to feel warm and he groaned silently.

He rinsed his mouth, put the toothbrush into its usual mug and looked into the mirror. He sighed and turned away, licking his lips. How was he suppose to face the flea after he had "attacked" him like that? He made a face at the memories that began to fill his mind.

Shizuo had had no idea that the flea would make him react like he had. Maybe it had been the lack of affection from anyone, maybe it had been because of the simple fact that it had been Izaya who had kissed him, but the truth was that he had kissed him back. Or he had kissed Izaya and then they had ended up kissing like they had, all closed-eyed and blissful. At least that was the feeling that Shizuo had gotten out of it. But why had he gone as far as to turn it into a make-out session? Or maybe he knew the reason why: Izaya's hands. They had made their way into his hair at some point, making a shiver run down his spine. That had been... good. Too good. And then there was the thing with the loneliness fading away with the kiss. The kiss also had been one of the few kisses in his life and probably Izaya's as well. It had been messy and the technique had been non-existent. Shizuo remembered how in the back of his mind he had wanted to learn to kiss the Izaya better.

Shizuo felt his cheek heat up as he remembered the rest. The memory of the moment where they pulled away, both out of breath, Shizuo feeling almost nothing but lust. He hadn't even tried to hide it but neither had Izaya. At least judging by his responses to Shizuo's wandering hands and the continuing kissing.

The blond shook his head and bit his lip. The fact that they had both gotten lost in the moment was already bad enough but the rest of it...

No wonder Shizuo had felt so relaxed when he had woken up.

Shizuo admitted that it had been his fault to let his hands wander too far south but he still couldn't believe how Izaya had reacted to his touch. How he touched Shizuo back just as fiercely.

The blond sighed, not wanting to remember any more of it but he did. And how couldn't he? The passion, the mutual lust and want to touch and be touched. It was almost scary to think he had lost himself like that. And the moans both of them had let out of their mouths, especially Izaya's small moans between kisses and the way he had thrusted his hips while Shizuo had pressed them together-

Shizuo groaned again and washed his face with cold water. He really needed to calm down. After Izaya would leave he could sort his thoughts. Why hadn't he left though? Shizuo had been so sure that Izaya was going to leave as soon as he got the chance.

Izaya had moved from the couch to the kitchen table while reading a book that Shizuo recognised as his own. He had read it a few weeks ago. Shizuo tried to avoid looking at Izaya's face, which was easy, because the raven apparently had the same strategy. Izaya had made coffee, so Shizuo just poured himself some and then began to make a sandwich. He turned around and sighed.

"Have you eaten already?" Shizuo saw how Izaya got a little startled when he spoke, though it didn't show when he answered.

"No." And then he added, "Why?"

"Want me to make you one – a sandwich?"

Izaya chuckled, and it was probably the first time in Shizuo's life that he didn't find it obnoxious. "Are you going to be my butler now?"

Shizuo shook his head and scoffed, "do you want a sandwich or not?"

Izaya chuckled again and Shizuo felt like something in the room's atmosphere changed. "How rude for a butler to say that. But I am hungry, so yes." Shizuo could hear the smirk in his voice when he quickly added, "please."

Izaya continued reading even after Shizuo gave him the egg sandwich with ham on it as well. The blond stared out of the window and yawned. It felt like nothing had changed from his usual morning but it was far away from the truth.

" _I'm eating breakfast with_ _the flea_ _."_  Shizuo lifted his gaze and studied the raven in front of him. Izaya's features were calm. They were nothing like his usual sharp-looking eyes and the smirk he wore everywhere wasn't there either. Shizuo's heart throbbed and he groaned. Izaya lifted his eyes from the book and placed the cup of coffee down on the wooden table. Shizuo wanted to think Izaya smiled, because it really looked like he did, but you could never know. Nonetheless Shizuo hadn't been prepared for it and let out a short laugh making Izaya frown and question his mental health. Again.

.

"You're so cute," Izaya chuckled as he held the toy mouse out of the cats reach. "Shion, do your best!" He smiled a little and moved to the couch and the cat quickly followed, eyes large, completely concentrated on the toy. It reminded Izaya of his and Shizuo's chases. Izaya controlled the whole situation and Shizuo followed as fast as he could, not thinking for a second where he was going, only wanting to catch his pray. Like a beast.

A few times the cat caught the toy when it learned how it would move next. Each time Izaya would have to change the pattern of his movements if this happened. For example if he moved the toy only up and down Shion would quick learn to wait for the mouse to get down and then with a quick strike of his paw catch it or at least slap the mouse. When this happened Izaya changed the pattern a little.

Izaya followed the cat's movements a while longer before he gave a short chuckle and let the cat caught the toy between its teeth. Shion seemed pleased and proud as he walked a bit further away from Izaya with the mouse until he just put it down and started to poke it with his paws.

Izaya took a better position on the couch and looked out of the window while pulling his legs up. It looked like it was going to rain at least the dark clouds gave that expression. "Hey, Celty, do you think it's going to rain? Because I don't have an umbrella and I hate getting wet."

The black rider walked to the living room with a cup of tea and after she had placed it on the table in front of Izaya she answered:  _"Who knows._ _Oh, but Shizuo is coming here today, you know. Shouldn't you leave?"_

Izaya yawned and looked at the headless woman, "I'm not leaving if it rains. So if Shizuo does come, well... I suppose we just have to hope he's glad to see me, right?"

" _You mean_ you _have to hope. I have nothing to do with this!"_

"But you let me in here."

" _You wanted to see Shion!"_

"That doesn't change the fact that you let me in." Izaya knew he won the debate so he chuckled. He took the tea from the table then and smiled, "Thanks for the tea."

" _You'll pay for every broken thing afterwards."_

It had been a week since Izaya had seen Shizuo and the reason for that wasn't because he had been avoiding him. The informant had just been busy with work and somehow, even though he had been in Ikebukuro almost every day (work related, mind you), his and Shizuo's paths hadn't crossed once. Izaya had only heard rumours about the monster of Ikebukuro acting more unpredictably than usually. There were days when everything went along peacefully but then there were days when all of a sudden the blond would throw a vending machine or a trash can up in the air. The reason for the monsters behaviour, though Izaya preferred not to dwell on it too much, was probably because of him and what had happened a week ago. It was normal for Izaya to be the reason behind Shizuo's rage but now it was different. It was different but Izaya still enjoyed it. Why it was like that was a subject he decided to ignore.

The cameras that Izaya had planted in Shizuo's apartment had ran out of battery. The raven had used them a few times in the evening the second day after he had seen Shizuo when his curiosity had won over. The blond had behaved normally – almost. The only thing out of place was that Shizuo some times just spaced out, for example while watching TV or cooking, and when he snapped out of it he made a weird expression that Izaya hadn't seen him make before. He had guesses what Shizuo had been thinking about while staring at 'nothingness' but they were again something Izaya wanted to ignore. It was too absurd; an impossibility.

It began to rain like Izaya had predicted. Izaya drank the rest of his tea while watching the cat fall asleep on the couch next to him. Celty was watching TV while some times glancing at the informant. Then the doorbell rang and Izaya felt himself tense where he sat.

.

Shion was there to greet him with Celty when he got inside the apartment. Celty looked troubled and said Shizuo might want to come some other day.

"You should have told me before I got here. It's raining outside you know." There was a loud whistle from the kitchen, signalling the tea water was boiling. And before the headless rider could explain the situation she was hurrying to the kitchen. Shizuo shrugged and started to take his shoes off while watching the cat running off towards the living room.

" _Strange... Celty usually tells me if something has come up."_ And with that Shizuo decided whatever reason Celty had wasn't anything big. Maybe she was in the middle of cleaning or something like that?

The moment Shizuo walked in the living room his eyes met with the fleas. Shion had jumped on the couch and was looking at Shizuo with eager eyes. He was waiting for his usual treats from the blond. He didn't care at all that something unexpected had happened. So unexpected that for a moment Shizuo had no idea what he was suppose to think or do. He had two options: he could do the usual, which would be making a scene and throw the flea out of the window (or throw something at him). Or he could (try) to ignore the flea completely. Truth to be told the latter option seemed the most appealing. After all, he hadn't been expecting to see Izaya there. He hadn't sorted out his thoughts from that night yet and because of it he was unsure how to act around the flea. Of course if they were outside he would probably attack him. But this was Celty's and Shinra's apartment and he didn't enjoy causing a havoc in somebody else's home.

Shizuo was the first one to brake the eye-contact, which had felt like it would last more than forever and then walked over to Shion. He lifted the cat up and without a word walked to the kitchen. Shion began to purr along the way.

" _I'm sorry I didn't tell you he was here! I thought he would leave but he wouldn't because it's raining and-"_ Shizuo could almost see Celty huffing before she seemed to halt. She looked at Shizuo,  _"...You're not going to get angry...?"_

"It's not that-" It was that. It was just like that. "I uh, I'm ignoring him, that's all. I don't want to detach your door like last time." Shizuo tried to keep a normal expression but he couldn't help frowning. How come he wasn't feeling angry? No, he was but not like usually. It wasn't the usual I-want-to-kill-that-damn-flea-right-now-no-matter-what kind of anger. "What the hell?"

" _Uh, Shizuo? Is everything alright? It's like you saw a ghost... Was it something I said?"_

"Huh? What, no. I'm okay."

" _...Okay. Would you like some tea?"_

"Yeah, thanks."

An unrealistic atmosphere settled upon the apartment. Shizuo stayed in the kitchen and Izaya stayed in the living room while Celty seemed to be panicking. She stayed with Shizuo most of the time, occasionally asking Izaya if he liked some more tea or something else. She tried talking to Shizuo while trying to pretend Izaya wasn't in the next room. She talked about trivial things like what she had seen in TV or while driving around the town. However, Shizuo had a hard time concentrating. He probably would have done something out of frustration if Shion hadn't been there, walking around him and trying to get his attention so enthusiastically. Shizuo didn't know if the cat sensed his strange frustrated mood but thinking that he did made him feel better.

"You know, I really would like to take Shion back." The blond confessed with a sigh. He had taken Shion in his arms and was petting him.

" _You could if you want to. It's not like I bought it from you or anything. I actually think he misses you."_

"But I still can't afford it." Shizuo sighed, defeated. Just a second ago he was frustrated and almost angry and now he was feeling sad. He needed to lift himself up from the current hole he had let himself fall into. A hole that was filled with raw and unnecessary emotions.

Shizuo gave a quick smile to Celty when he noticed the uneasiness from her features. Celty crouched down and petted Shion after it walked over to her. The blond scratched the back of his neck thinking of his empty apartment. The rain outside hadn't stopped but it wasn't as heavy as before. Should he leave soon? The clock was close to seven already and he still had some shopping to do.

"Hey, Celty... What do you think I should eat today? Chicken or fish?"

" _...Fish?"_

.

The second the front door closed behind Shizuo Celty was in front of Izaya, shoving her questions into his face.

" _My heart can't take this! This is against all logic! Why didn't you leave when Shizuo came here? No, why are you even here? I get that you wanted to see Shion but that's the other thing-"_ Celty was confusion and furious at the same time. Or maybe she was more confused than she was furious.  _"It makes absolutely no sense! Why didn't Shizuo do anything? Izaya what did you do?!"_ Or maybe she wasn't at all furious. In a situation like this no one would get angry, only extremely confused; nothing was like it should have been.

"Calm down, Celty. I understand you're confused but didn't Shizu-chan tell you why he wasn't going with his usual rampage?" Izaya sighed and looked at the black rider with his usual know-it-all smirk the one that all too easily made people lose their cool.

" _He did but it still doesn't make any sense! He isn't like himself at all,"_ Izaya imagined her huffing in frustration,  _"Did you know he wouldn't do anything? Are you blackmailing him?"_  It was adorable for Izaya to see how worried the woman was over her friend. She was getting more human as the days passed, it seemed. But it also felt all so wrong. How had Shizuo gotten someone to like him that much? Oh but then again both of them were (still) monsters. Maybe it wasn't surprisingly after all.

"If I were able to blackmail Shizu-chan I would have done it ages ago! He would rip me apart if I did something to his brother. He has no friends- Oh no, wait." He turned to look at Celty with a smirk, "You're his friend, aren't you?"

" _You can't really do anything to me. At least you can't hurt me."_

Izaya hummed and nodded. And before Celty could say anything else Izaya continued with a voice that made Celty feel uneasy. It wasn't anything like Izaya's usual cold voice. "It's good that you know I can't beat you. At least physically. And before you say anything about Shinra!" Izaya got up from the couch with a quick, smooth movement and sighed dramatically. "It's true that I could blackmail you with Shinra but that wouldn't be any fun," The informant turned to take his jacket from the couch before looking at Celty again, "It would be a bit too complicated for the sake of blackmailing Shizu-chan, too. And there's also the fact that if I were to hurt you and Shinra would found out somehow..." Izaya put on his jacket. "Well, let's just say I don't want to wake up and realise a limb or two are missing." He chuckled on top of his last comment but both he and Celty knew he was probably right.

" _You're right about that but you still haven't answered me. Why is Shizuo like that? Have you done something to him?"_  Celty pushed on, not letting Izaya to use any routes to escape the conversation or to leave before she could stop him. Women were persistent, huh?

"I haven't done anything." Which wasn't a lie, in a way. "Can't you believe me? Maybe Shizu-chan is just feeling lonely without his cat?" Izaya skipped over to the hallway. "More importantly, Celty, do you have an umbrella?"

Celty walked to the hallway, following the raven.  _"They're next to the shoes. But didn't you say you didn't want to leave until the rain stops?"_

"It isn't raining that much anymore. Or do you want me to stay?" The chuckle he gave was more than enough to give Celty a cold shiver. And so by taking the umbrella from next to the shoes he gave a wave and a good-bye and was gone.

As soon as Izaya was out of the door he started to go through the situation, as he liked to call it, that had happened a few minutes ago. The situation where he hadn't left before Shizuo had arrived like he usually would have. There had been two reasons for this: it had been raining heavily and Izaya really didn't want to get wet. Umbrella or no umbrella, the rain easily got on you carried by the wind. He also hated the smell of his clothes if they got wet by the rain. And the second reason was because he had wanted to test and observe himself. Izaya had merely wanted to know how he would react – and how Shizuo would react – when they met each other like that. What would they do? What would they think? What would be different? Mostly Izaya had wanted to observe himself. Because no matter how much he had tried to think about it for the last seven days, he hadn't found the answer to the question "what was going on?". Or maybe that wasn't the question. In fact Izaya didn't even have a question in the first place. He had just wanted to see what would happen. The informant felt like there was something else as well but he couldn't wrap his head around it so he let it be for the time being.

Izaya got outside and he opened the umbrella. The rain had almost stopped. Shizuo wasn't anywhere to be seen so Izaya started head towards the train station.

When Shizuo had stepped inside the apartment and Izaya had heard his voice his body had tensed up. And it hadn't been out of fear but out of anticipation. The feeling was something like a child finally getting to open all the Christmas presents after a long time of waiting and seeing the very item they had wanted badly being unwrapped. The feeling he felt was similar to that but only in some ways. After all, there was no tremendous happiness surrounding the informant the second Shizuo arrived. Or had there been? There hadn't been, Izaya decided. But if he had felt happiness it wasn't similar to that of a child getting their long-awaited present. It was the kind of happiness Izaya felt when situations became to unravel or when he saw something interesting or worth giving attention to happening. I guess you could say Izaya only enjoyed wrapping or opening presents. The things that were inside the presents were important, of course, but not as interesting as figuring out everything on your own or making others figure it out.

And the moment that followed, when Shizuo was standing there staring at him... Izaya wasn't sure if he knew what he had felt. He remembered how he had locked his gaze with Shizuo and that he couldn't breathe normally for some reason. The feeling of anticipation must have been the cause of it. And of course with trouble breathing came a fast beating heart. Or had his heart beat faster first? Did it even matter? The staring had probably lasted for 20 seconds. No, not even that long. It had only felt like a long time. And when Shizuo finally broke the eye-contact Izaya felt like he had lost something, like a game or a bet. It had been unbearably frustrating. And for some reason Izaya hadn't been that surprised when Shizuo didn't say or do anything scandalous. He had felt ignored and disappointed however, especially when Shizuo had coldly left the living room and gone to the kitchen without a word. Had he wanted his attention? No. He just wasn't used to being ignored by him. It had been the strangest thing. Even his heart had throbbed.

The whole observation made Izaya want to laugh at himself. Because really, those kind of "symptoms" were almost straight from a romance novel. It was as if he.. As if he was...

"Or not." Izaya chuckled to himself. The right answer was that he had probably been (and still was) upset over what had happened a week ago. Everyone would be like that if something unexpected or indescribable happened to them. At least that should have been the right conclusion but it didn't seem quite right. Observing yourself was terribly difficult and not a pleasant thing. But in order to return to normal – if it even was an option – Izaya had to. "Shizu-chan really likes to make my life difficult, huh."

When Izaya got to the train station the rain stopped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so... here's the chapter that is late as hell.
> 
> This chapter has been waiting for me in my folders for god knows how long. I "finished" it a long time ago but couldn't decide what to do with the beginning (hence the delay). Many of you wanted smut or something like that and others wanted them to take it slow and so I made a compromise. At least if what I wrote can be called a compromise? :d But yeah, I'm sorry. (See I'm rambling again)
> 
> I have, sadly, started to lose interest in this fic/idea. The main reason is that I don't know how this will end and what will happen next because I have other fic ideas and... yeah. But it doesn't mean I won't continue this. The updates will just take longer, and I apologize for that. I'm also very busy with school and everything so... yeah.
> 
> An important note: I DON'T HAVE A BETA READER OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. And I'm pretty sure I won't get anyone soon. Deduce from that. (Especially with this chapter I just wanted to quickly upload this now that it's ready. I've read through it hastily only once...)
> 
> What else... Nothing, I guess? Sorry again for the delay. Thank you all who have waited and are still reading this fic! And of course thank you who commented on the last chapter and this story in general! ♥


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